Sequential

[Joeslucher]

http://illustrations.00freehost.com/images/seq.jpg

[SEVANS]

Your anatomy isn't 100%, the face seems really distorted in the last panel.

On the composition side the 3 panels of the large guy approaching slow down the action too much.

A tiny bit more varying line weight would also give the pic more depth and clarity.

[Hale]

Okay, I'm gonna try and help you out because I am a fellow student of Sequential art here at the Savannah College of Art and Design (it's my major here).

As far as the storytelling goes, I am confused in the first panel because the man in the foreground seems not to notice the huge crash of the big mans entrance. Also there are no bricks still flying around so perhaps the big man shodl be in a more walking position instead of frozen in his just-punched pose. That thing in the corner is alos rather odd, I'd just put a vertical line to denote the corner.

The next 3 panels seem OK, althgouh I hope there is some text going into the top of the panels. I do think that you need some space between the panels though as they tend to run itno each other. The 5th panels has good action and poses, but having the hand go into the previous panel maes us backtrack, which is bad. That hand might also draw us directly into the 5th panel (from the fourth), too early.

Fianlly, the last panel has good action again and I like the cool angle but there is alot of dead room on the left and the small guy's left arm should be more active, rather than just hanging. Also, it looks as if he is going to cut the big guy's arm, not his neck (maybe that's what you were going for). Also, the big guy IS LOOKING AWAY! All you need to do there is move his pupils so he is looking at the sword.

As foer style, you have good linework, but your backgrounds are a little shaky. The linesowrk is also very dead, try using more spotted blacks (high-contrast shading) or experiment with line weight to make characters pop!

I think you have some grasp of drawing and sequentual art, I would suggest studying further and remember that panels themselves need to tell the story (ie- big panels for longer scenes, diagonal ones for action)

Keep up the good work and keep posting, hope this helps you some.

[Joeslucher]

I agree with everything and yes there is text in the second third and fourth, I hoped that the change in expression between the two might have indicated that. It is his arm that is being cut, not his neck. The bad guy was expecting the big guy, that's why he's not surprised. In the pencils I have dust still in the air from the guy busting through the wall but was unsure if I should ink that because it's something that would mostly be done with color.

Hale, you said the panels run together and I agree. These aren't going to the bleed as you can see so do you think I should pop em out away from each other to the bleed to create a little space between each panel? Then I'd have to worry about losing the text in that third panel though.