Drawing Disposal Addiction

[NEMi]

Yay for my very first post...

Anyway, I come to this forum (hope this is in the right category) with a question. Hopefully you guys can answer it.
First off, I should probably give a brief introduction. I'm known as NEMi on the Internet, but you can feel free to call me Emily which is the name bestowed to me by my parents. I'm 15 going on 16 and I'm really into abstract art. Not just in visual form, but the music I listen to as well. I've recently begun to draw in a more abstract style, but I still need make adjustments and let go of old habits.

Only recently has it come to my attention that I want to get serious with my artwork. I'm definitely looking at several art schools in California and I've started following lots of advice and suggestions I receive from friends, teachers, and family. I think I've improved over the years even if it's only a little bit, and I'm excited to see where I'll end up as I progress.

There is one problem with me. I don't like showing my work in public (for some reason the internet is fine), and I realized I've started to move backwards. I'm not drawing for myself anymore; I draw with the thought of someone finding my sketchbook and looking through its pages exclaiming how crappy everything in it is.
This causes me to tear out my old drawings, flush them down the nearest toilet and feel ashamed for drawing such an atrocity.

Can any of you help me overcome this? I think about it and I don't think it will help me progress in any way.

Thanks in advance to all who help.

[zx52hg]

Is it apprehension over having your work criticised? If that is the case, somewhere, someone is not going to like your work, regardless of how skilled you are.

I think you might have to grit your teeth and get burned. Eventually you'll find it doesn't affect you as much as it used to, and you can dump all the bits that hinder your progress as an artist.

Also, flushing any work down the toilet is going to cause a major blockage...

[maeharrington]

the obvious reply would be start with someone you really feel comfortable with. Might be your friend, a relative, your pet, the ice cream vendor etc.
Or go the other way, but it's not easy: i.e. find a total stranger, who you won't see again for the rest of your life. Although it's not easy to find a total stranger, stop them and say "hey, have a look at this"
That's why one uses the net.

Then, I would say that the first person who must be comfortable with your art is yourself. Even here there are two opposite options.
Overexpose yourself to it. Don't put it away in your sketchbook. Hang it up, so you see it when you go to bed at night, and when you wake up.
When you've brushed your teeth, and when you're listening to music.
Whenever.
It must become part of the scenery. One day someone will walk into your room, and you won't remember it's there. Grow numb to it, it's a way to distance yourself from it.

OR:
hide it away, don't look at it for ages. Forget about it.
Then when you look at it after weeks/months/years/decades/geological ages you will have a different perspective.
You'll be the stranger looking at your art

r.

[ArchDesign]

Hi,

I'm not saying that I am good as the others here. I've been through that situations before.. what I can advice you is to first learn how to appreciate your own works, then share it with your family and to your most trusted or closest friends. Be confident and proud of what you have accomplished.

[NanoBlack]

Trust me, ive been there. :P And i still do crappy drawings!

What helped me get over it was when I had to show my stuff in the SACE exhibit - my months of craptastic work, off to the public's eye. Oh, joy. Well, when i realised that one one gave a shit, and that mine wasn't the worst there, it really gave me a feeling of "IM INSIGNIFICANT! GOODIE!"

AND THEN i got accepted in the institution of my choice for tertiary education, and now we all stare at screens in a black room all day doodling or rendering in Maya, so i have NO CHOICE but for my work to be on display. On a 24", there is no hiding your doodles.

I found exposure to others- even if it wasn't of my choosing- helped me a lot. Forcing my stuff to be on display to anyone who might walk past forced me to get over my nerves, and start improving for myself.

Hope you can get over it, for you wil be able to improve at a rapid pace when you do :P

[MyOrangeHat]

The way I got over this is odd but it worked for me so hey it might do it for you. I just stopped signing my work. Ever. I used to sign it to signify it was done, so by not signing it I almost gave myself an acknowledgment that this isn't the quality of work I want to end up with in the end but it is a learning step towards it. That gave me an "out" in my mind in the case of something turning out very badly. I realized I would just do better next time. This also helped keep me from being so very very precious about ever little thing I drew. Take that protective precious feeling away and you'll find you accept critiques much better too.
Good luck. Putting your stuff out there for constructive feedback is a great way to improve so learning to handle it is a great step on the road to artistic awesomeness.

[Psychotime]

If you really feel it's something you should get over, then GET OVER it. How's it any more complicated than that?

[bhanu]

If that is the case, somewhere, someone is not going to like your work,
In most cases, that someone, somewhere ends up in your family or as a spouse.

You will get criticized till eternity, yet you should become your own hardest and most sincere(please keep this one in mind) critic, but don't beat yourself up over it.
It you know that you have given it your best, then be proud of it regardless what anyone thinks.
Heres a quote from Alex Kanevsky to young artists
Build up you self esteem to the level that might seem unwarranted. This will help you ignore both positive and negative responses to your paintings. Both are usually misguided, since they come from the outside. Be your most severe and devastating critic, while never doubting that you are the best thing since sliced bread.

I hope you dont tear away your drawings anymore. Take care