Piece of Music I wrote

[Nusua]

Hi. I'm Phillip Lober. I am a young composer (15 years old) and right now I am scoring a fan created project. I recently did this (http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=1007771&songID=8682568) (click play hi-fi)

Criticism?

[Krato]

its interesting reminds me of avatar, when the song started to pick up allot of the sounds felt out of place and it lost rhythm. Better then i can do though thats for sure, good song.

[Nusua]

Some moments lost rythm on purpose because it was supposed to be a tribal piece, and tribes usually aren't in tempo.

This isn't my best work, just recent.

[Dan!]

hey phillip, it is a nice piece! it definitely has an adventurous vibe to it. I think the strings in the lead in could be less abrupt. IMO, overall the production is pretty good - needs some EQ work mainly when the piece begins to get going it feels a bit muddy and heavy on the low end. I think the main body of the song could use some heavy cymbal crash to really get the blood going but that could be preference. the last third of the song the violins sound a bit dry when juxtaposed against the expansiveness of those big strings. I believe Krato made a good point- that slight off tempo stutter in the percussion detracts more than adds to the feel of the piece. Mainly because right about when you notice it and begin to ride with it- it deviates. This would not be as much of a deal if you were making a purely tribal piece with no western influence. I don;t think it fits well with the structured nature of the rest of the composition./2 cents
Keep it up though you're on your way that's for sure.

side note-you seem to already be a little defensive - try not to be -

[Nusua]

What are you dumb I'M NOT DEFENSIVE!! (that's a joke, haha)!

Nah, I love criticism. It's just that I didn't have enough time to say so, and I wanted to state some facts. I can certainly see why you would think so, though. Thanks for the advice, guys :D

[Moai]

Like Krato said, this has a strong "Avatar" feel. Very cool and well-made piece. I don't really agree with the other posters about the percussion. The slightly off-tempo parts were very subtle, and I didn't notice them until I read the other comments and really listened closely. I do agree, though, that the violins were the weak link in this. They sounded the most MIDI-ish out of all the instruments. By the way, what did you use to make this? I write a lot of songs in plain old MIDI, and would love to try out something with higher quality sounds.:)

[Mucky88]

Holy damn, someone besides me is making music on CA!? YES. I can't listen to this yet as my roommate is asleep and I left my headphones at work, but I'll check this out as soon as I can. :)

[Mucky88]

Sorry to reply so late. I finally listened to it, and I was very surprised! Much better than I expected, very well done.

[Jacob Kobryn]

Good stuff man, keep it up!