female game Charac :: looking 4 feedback

[pol]

Here is my latest game character design...

tell me what you guys think!... rendered with photoshop and a wacom.

The character it's supposed to come from the far future, and must be able to do short flies with that wings.. :eek:

hope you like it.

image updated after some crits ;)

http://galeon.com/polart/yasumi_01_s.jpg

[Snowfly]

Wow super stylish!

[Nadim]

Proportions - rendering - overall design is excellent
yet I think she is a bit old - or maybe she 's not a she !

Post more versions
I really like the rendering -

[Dun]

It looks great. Well executed.

I think her wings need more though....

Is there a webbing or something between the black bars of the wings to make them work? Otherwise, they wouldn't be plausible.

I assume that you would want it to come across VERY clearly in the game when she's using those wings. In most games - the characters don't take up a lot of screen real estate, so you need to really push things.

Maybe the webbing should glow or something? (Are they energy powered? Maybe there's no webbing at all, but a powerfield is generated between the black bars when they are acticated. A wind resistant powerfield of course. ;) That kind of thing might be good because you could use some glow effects in the game when she activates - it would look pretty (game special effects and lighting) - it would look a little more plausible - and with the right sound effect, it would give the player strong audio and visual clues that she is now flying.

A think a colour render would be better too. :)

Nice work! Sorry for the ramble....

[Hazart]

Ou Jeah! Great!

[pol]

Thanks for the replies :chug:

snowfly> glad you like it

king> yes, it's a she :confused: , maybe the hairstyle makes she a bit older, or the lines in her face... she is a cyborg :eek: )... seriously i think it's maybe the hair... i made a bunch of hairstyles for this girl!

Dun> i like very much your idea about the wings... i really didn't think too much about it, but yours it's a good point...

Thank you guys.

[Spacey]

The head looks kinda small...

Other than that cool style and design.

[DanSTC]

Aw c'mon, Yutani. It's future-tech stuff. I think it's safe to assume there's some sort of lift generating device onboard that there Japanese cyborg. (Be it small jets, or gravity control devices in the wings, or some other means.)

As for the size of the head, A) She's a cyborg. A metal construct with biological components, so she need not follow the rules of human proportion and B) She looks cool with a slightly proportionately small head.

Personally, I think it looks great, but I do think that the head in the first pose needs a tiny little bit of touching up...and perhaps maybe needs to bumped up in size just a TINY bit. Other than that, excellent work.

[Snowfly]

actually i did feel like pointing out there's no way the wings could function, even for a short glide. but the whole look worked so well i bit my tongue and relied on good old suspension of disbelief. still a gorgeous design, wish i could be as imaginative.

[dusty imp]

Aw c'mon, Yutani. It's future-tech stuff. I think it's safe to assume there's some sort of lift generating device onboard that there Japanese cyborg. (Be it small jets, or gravity control devices in the wings, or some other means.)

Yeah, i guess we can assume that.
But still.
Look at Timur's (http://timurmutsaev.com) work, its futuristic but the stuff is still designed to look functional. Its simple, really. If the viewer has to rely on the fact that its from the future to justify its ability to function, then its not that great of a concept.

As for the size of the head, A) She's a cyborg. A metal construct with biological components, so she need not follow the rules of human proportion and B) She looks cool with a slightly proportionately small head.

Oh, please.
Its the same thing here.
I might be going out on a limb, but it looks to me that the original idea was to make her look human, and the artist was unsuccessfull. Drawbacks in the execution point to that.
Justifying mistakes by attributing them to the concept as being part of the original plan doesn't do the artist any good.
It was a crit forum last time i checked.
Most people here provide unreasonably positive feedback to mediocre (or worse) work, while avoiding crtisism. Now, i'm not sure if the reason for that is that they are simply afraid to express their opinion, or if they don't see the mistakes.
But that's how it is. So, if anything, i'm doing artists a favor by offering constructive critisism where its needed in order to help him/her grow, rather then giving the artist a false sence of self-importance.

[DanSTC]

Yes, it's a crticism forum, and I'm free to dispute your criticism as you are free to dispute mine.

Don't get me wrong though; I'm not putting you down, I'm just pointing out how it could "work" as it is as a counterpoint to your post. I do agree that if the artist wanted to make the head proportionately smaller, he should attempt to make it look less like it was that way on accident, but more as a stylistic decision.

[Main Loop]

yeah its the overpronounced cheekbones that make her look old and a little boyish.. just work that out and round out the cheeks a bit more and youll be fine.. good job on the rest

[jadedchron]

I dunno how you people come up with these styles..

[nardfrog]

I think your rendering style is sick. On the full body one, her head is too small compaired to her legs, and her arms are also a bit small too. I like the version of her with out hair. ANd for me, the broad shoulders on the robe are a bit too japanese matial arts master, but these types of things are being rather subjective. Overall i feel the robe doesnt really fit the girl.

[pol]

Ok guys, thanks for the crits... sometimes it's quite difficult to critic one's work... it was helpful for me to fix some anatomy stuff.

this was a stylish design but i agree with some of you that some proportions are a bit off. i updated the image and tried to fix that...maintainig the style...also changed the hairstyle.

Great link Yutani, Timur has some amazing character designs !

Here are another quick version and some hairstyle variation.
http://galeon.com/polart/yasumi02_xs.jpg
http://galeon.com/polart/pelo_xs.jpg

[Kress]

sexcellent - fuck it, no crits from me, you get off easy today :D