Before I get too deep...

[Bammer]

So now that I've finally finished all of my college application stuff, I'm starting this web comic called Anthem. Here are the first two pages.
http://keratin.pyoko.org/Anthem/p0001.jpg
http://keratin.pyoko.org/Anthem/p0002.jpg
I plan on drawing this comic for a long long time (maybe throughout my entire college career) so before I get started I thought I'd take some critiques.
I'm hoping to hear what I should work on the most. Is the lineart bad? Are the backgrounds the weakest part? Does my font choice suck? I hate the thought of getting months into the comic and hearing that it's too muddy and you can't tell what the pictures are of. So any feedback is much appreciated. And I hope you all come to my website and read the comic when the website is ready. (I think the comics going to be alot of fun.)

[elevenrequiem]

only thing i see wrong with it (and just know i'm really picking it apart) in the "he lost his leg in dallas" frame, the hand on the gun is a little confusing. other than that, i think the lineart is great, not the most interesting font choice but its elegant and it works, and the backgrounds are subtle but informative. i'm excited to see some more of this stuff!

[SEVANS]

I see nothing wrong with the loose line art style. The colour is also very nice.

The comment from 'elevenrequiem' is spot on, this is by far the weakest panel.

Post some more pages.

[ProudestMonkey]

Man.. I really like the comic alot... the environments and back ground are really nice... an i like the writing alot too, it reminds me of Cowboy Bebop, (anyone watch that?) .. though I think the font might want to be changed a bit.., it' snot horrible.. just a little out of place in my opinion...

But yeah keep in mind anatomy of conjoining objects (hand / gun) but other than that... it's awesome, i'd love to see more when you finish it.. if you don't feel like makin a whole new thread atleast PM me!

:p

Keep it up!


Proudest

[Bammer]

Hey thank you very much guys. I think I took care of that hand issue, and I have another page.
http://keratin.pyoko.org/Anthem/p0003.jpg
Not that good but it's just a page.
Currently the schedule for the comic is new page every 3 days. I opted for this because it gives me one afternoon for lineart, one for coloring, and one to just freedraw. I could probably shorten this by going black and white, and or cell shaded. And of course I could go the other direction too, and heap on more detail. What do you all think? This is the last page I'm posting so my thread doesn't keep getting bumped up and annoy people. But thank you ElevenRequiem, Sevans, and Proudest. You've been very encouraging.

[Valcon Jet]

The second frame, "I guess its the honesty of the situation that makes it..." is awesome! That pose is just perfect! The only crit i have is, in the very last frame of the first comic, she's blowing up the train with the gat gun ... the pose on that is bothersome. The gun would knock her over standing like that, and she's not even looking at the target ... Just seems wrong to stare at your feet while shooting something. I like the perspective of it, but I think her pose could be improved. Short of that, I love it!

[Wohr Path]

This comic is awsome!! I had an idea for you, you should definitely continue to seek crits on every page you do, however instead of actually going back and spending time correcting things you could just use the knowledge to make the next page better and try to never make the same mistake twice. I think it would be cool because after a while you would have a comic in which the artwork continually got better as the story goes along. Again this is really cool I dig all the different angles that you use, some of them are very dynamic. I do have a suggestion though, on the first page where you were lettering, I really like the white with the yellow glow outside, but on the other text it seems like it needs a border or something to keep it organized.
One last thing, have you thought about using break panels and possibly changing the shapes of the panels such as setting them at an angle to heighten the tension? er sry about the post length I have a tendancy to ramble heh
Whatever you do dont quit this is great!!:thumbsup: