Am I the only one?

[velderia]

Am I the only one who doesn't like celebrating her birthday? I'm turning 20 tomorrow and I want to do absolutely nothing. Except for maybe drawing. My mom keeps on begging me to do something, or allowing herself to give me something. I don't really want anything more. I'm already getting some allowance from her and I feel bad enough about it as it is.

I keep on forgetting my birthday is this close too. I just clicked on the time to see what day it is and it's the 12th. The dreaded 13th is tomorrow. My mom is in NY now on a family trip. When she comes back, she's probably going to ask me to go out or if she can make something for me and I'm afraid I'm going to kill myself from saying "no" 124343452365763 times. How can I avoid her? I don't want to waste money on gas, taking my laptop to Starbucks to work on my thing, or just to plain avoid her.

Am I the only one like this? I really don't want to celebrate my birthday at all anymore. It's a vain thing to celebrate imho.

And WTF is it with people wanting to drink as soon as they turn 21? I don't get why cigarettes are more taboo than alcohol. I think I read a statistic somewhere that more violence occurs in people with alcoholism than in people with schizophrenia. It's like people aren't even trying.

[Brushcommander]

You're not the only one.

[Sidharth Chaturvedi]

Don't think of it as a vanity thing. She's your mom, she's probably going to want to celebrate your birth :P. I don't care about celebrating my birthday either, so I get where you're coming from, but if those who love you want to fuss over you for a day, why not? No matter how much you say you'd rather not do anything, believe me, she'll feel bad. Indulge her.

[Hyskoa]

Last birthday I had was at, I think 12. Back then I wasn't the social savant you all have come to know and love. So basically after being bored for 2 hours and being forced to interact with everyone I disliked I told everyone I had a nice time but it was getting late and that they should leave. After they were gone, I explained to my parents that the party was the equivalent of going to the dentist with 12 holes to fill. Suffice to say, they never organized another one and instead of useless presents I finally got what I really wanted. Namely money.

Been saving in my bank account ever since.

So if you tell your parents with a certain degree of certainty, I'm sure they'll understand.

[Crass]

I don't celebrate my birthday. I think it's a stupid tradition and I think it's idiotic to designate special days of the year to buy stuff for each other for no other reason than that it's "that day". I'm not against the idea of gifts, but if I get one I want there to be a reason, I want the person to give it to me because they like me and because they have found something that they thought I would like, as a sign of how well they know me, rather than because they had to since it was my birthday (funnily enough, you tend not to get gifts with this mentality, which doesn't bother me). I think tradition in general is pointless when you don't have any personal relation to the event, I don't celebrate any holidays.

My dad usually insists I should go to him and celebrate my birthday with his side of the family, which ends up being extremely weird as I am totally uncomfortable with the idea, and do it just to please them. Funny thing is, they don't really seem to want to do it either, they are there for reasons of tradition only.

I'll be 22 in a month.

[Liz Edwards]

I don't like birthdays. I turned 20 in April and am still in denial about the whole thing. I'm not comfortable with being a grown-up yet :( I did some fun stuff with friends but I stopped wanting to celebrate my birthday with anything more than seeing a couple of friends and watching a couple of good movies years ago... right about when I outgrew magicians.

Humour your mum, though :) If she can't understand that you don't want to do anything, go out for a little family meal or something small like that so she doesn't feel guilty about not doing anything for her daughter's birthday. I know I'd feel bad if my kid avoided me when all I wanted to do is treat her

[Dusty]

You are definitely not the only one, I am sure of that.

But it might be considered selfish of you to deny your family and friends a celebration of your birth. Thinking of it as "vain" is over-thinking it in my opinion. You can just hang out with your loved ones, talk about memories, enjoy their company, go out to dinner or whatever. It doesn't have to be a big stupid Ronald McDonald party...you aren't a kid afterall.

If I were your friend, though? I'd probably be annoyed at your attitude.
Just being as honest as you are about hating birthdays.

I like my friends and I like to do things for them. A birthday is a good excuse to show them that. Being a stick in the mud about it is just being rude about their desire to show affections toward you, in my honest opinion.

But it's obviously your life! :D All the best either way...
Happy Birthday ;)

[Sekino]

I never personally though my own birthday was a notable event. However, I think it's normal that people close to each other enjoy underlining these events as an occasion to celebrate together. I don't think it should necessarily be regarded as something negative or 'vain'.

It's a bit like Christmas. I'm an atheist and I worked in retail for a few years (which means X-mas was all about irrate customers, longer hours and awful music on a loop) so I came close to hating the entire period. It meant nothing to me. But my family has established a no-gift no-hassle policy a few years back to keep the shopping/stress down. No one cooks elaborate meals, we bring platters and hors-d'oeuvres. The point is to be together on late winter nights gatherings, talking together and taking a break from routine. It's really a good time because it's tailored for the people, not for the sake of some yearly event.

If you're that uncomfortable with your own birthday, it's a personal thing. But I think people around you really don't mean to embarrass or annoy you with it. In such a busy world, people jump on all occasions to get close, kick back and have a good time with each other, including birthdays.

[Crass]

You are definitely not the only one, I am sure of that.

But it might be considered selfish of you to deny your family and friends a celebration of your birth. Thinking of it as "vain" is over-thinking it in my opinion. You can just hang out with your loved ones, talk about memories, enjoy their company, go out to dinner or whatever. It doesn't have to be a big stupid Ronald McDonald party...you aren't a kid afterall.

If I were your friend, though? I'd probably be annoyed at your attitude.
Just being as honest as you are about hating birthdays.

I like my friends and I like to do things for them. A birthday is a good excuse to show them that. Being a stick in the mud about it is just being rude about their desire to show affections toward you, in my honest opinion.

But it's obviously your life! :D All the best either way...
Happy Birthday ;)

Why can't people do things like that on any other day? When you do it on a designated day it comes across as forced, maybe even insincere to me. If I want to show appreciation for someone, I do it, I don't wait for a special day when I may or may not feel like doing something. Why would you need an "excuse", I don't want people to need an excuse to tell me they like me.

[Sunseaker]

Seems a lot of people don't like them. I know I don't, never have, not sure when/why. I always forget mine, most of my mates dont know when it is either, so no problems with them trying to organise something for me. Used to have a nice meal with the family to appease them though. Have to think to remember how old I am. It is not old enough to get away with forgetting.

That being said, I like other peoples birthdays, because with my mates that usually means an ace fancy dress party.

[Sekino]

Why can't people do things like that on any other day?... If I want to show appreciation for someone, I do it, I don't wait for a special day when I may or may not feel like doing something.

That's great, but I'd be willing to bet that's the minority. Most of my friends and family have crazy, erratic life and work schedules. Sure, we'll grab a quick beer. We talk on the phone. We do support and love each other. But for everybody to get together, forget life for a while and party (or simply relax),frankly, occasions help. People do fall in routine whether they love each other or not. Birthdays and holidays are a way to break away from it without guilt (or nasty looks from employers).

[Dusty]

That's great, but I'd be willing to bet that's the minority. Most of my friends and family have crazy, erratic life and work schedules. Sure, we'll grab a quick beer. We talk on the phone. We do support and love each other. But for everybody to get together, forget life for a while and party (or simply relax),frankly, occasions help. People do fall in routine whether they love each other or not. Birthdays and holidays are a way to break away from it without guilt (or nasty looks from employers).

Yup, thanks for typing what was in my head.
Basically, my whole comment about "Why can't people do that on other days" is....well...they can! But why not this day too!

If it's "forced", well that's an issue with your friends and family that obviously I have no comment for as I'm not you. For me, it's never forced. It's just fun times with friends and fam.

[Crass]

I understand where you are coming from with people's lives being to hectic for them to concentrate on things that matter, and I agree, I also think it's the great tragedy of modern society and I don't want to be part of it. Embracing it doesn't make it better, it makes it worse. If going against the grain makes people think I'm weird, or an asshole, then so be it.

[Crane]

Don't do it for you, do it for her

[Sekino]

If going against the grain makes people think I'm weird, or an asshole, then so be it.

Man, I also totally agree that social priorities are skewed. I'm self-employed now, so I can go against the grain a bit more often than most of my friends/family. However, the ones working until 9:30 PM and with kids at home can't join in and 'rebel' any time they want, no matter how bad they want it. But they sneak out of it on birthdays ;)

So, yeah: Life's short. Any occasion to have a good time with good people is precious, in my book.

[Jacob Kobryn]

Am I the only one who attempts suicide every Valentine's Day?

Woops... off topic...

[Katfayheirti]

Personally, I love events that give me an excuse to hang out with my friends and family!

[s.ketch]

Nothing wrong with celebrating your birthday, you're all just a bunch of anti-social weirdos.

[chriskot]

I'm turning 20 in a month. I'd say I agree with everything Dusty and Sekino said so far. Forget how celebrating your continued existence may seem slightly vain to you. You're entitled to the same amount of vanity as anyone else. Honestly, to me it seems more rude to deny your mother a small celebration or at least a dinner that she obviously really wants to have. There's no reason you can't just forget what you're celebrating and simply have a good time.

I haven't had a proper birthday "party" in eight or nine years, but several of my friends still have them every year. Not to get cards or gifts anymore, just to get together. Having a justification helps get people together, no matter how trivial that occasion may be.

[Interceptor]

geeze, kid.
I got you something for your birthday, seems right up your alley.
http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/500/30764533/Simple+Plan+Simple_Plan_album_cover.jpg

[Straight Edge Ryan]

Only thing I've ever asked for my birthday is a wheelbarrow to carry around all of this awesome.

See, when you're awesome by nature (like I am) every day is your birthday

[Liffey]

There's nothing wrong with giving someone special appreciation one day out of the year. It's only vain if you think of it as vain. "I must disappear for this day because I am faaaaar too humble an individual to accept attention on my birthday," seems way more self focused than just accepting people's "happy birthday"'s, maybe going out to eat or something, and otherwise going about your day. Seriously, it's not like people are bowing at your feet or anything... :P

[Crass]

Man, I also totally agree that social priorities are skewed. I'm self-employed now, so I can go against the grain a bit more often than most of my friends/family. However, the ones working until 9:30 PM and with kids at home can't join in and 'rebel' any time they want, no matter how bad they want it. But they sneak out of it on birthdays ;)

So, yeah: Life's short. Any occasion to have a good time with good people is precious, in my book.

I don't agree. It's a lot more difficult to break out of the mold once you're in it, but it's not impossible. Lots of people have turned their lives around completely at 30, 40, 50... Kids can be a hindrance in that scenario, but you make a choice whether you want children or not, if you do have a child you should take responsibility for that action you have taken, but there is more than one way to raise a child also.

I think birthdays have become a meaningless ritual in society, it is something that people attend to because it is what's expected of them and because it's what has always been done. The underlying purpose of celebrating the life of a friend has been lost in favor of the same mindless consumption and symbols that we find everywhere else. I don't think birthday celebrations are about showing appreciation anymore, I think they're about celebrating birthdays. The focus has shifted from the person to the event, the celebration is celebrated for its own sake and along with that comes whatever is culturally linked to a birthday celebration - gifts, cakes, birthday songs, balloons.. Nobody thinks about what any of these things mean or why they are there, they are there because they are supposed to be there, to complete an image.

I can only use myself as an example, but I wouldn't be surprised if my family is a fairly accurate slice of upper middle class western society today. I made the suggestion to celebrate my birthday (also Christmas) without gifts and this, for some reason, was unthinkable; "in this family, we have gifts". You see, giving gifts is not about showing appreciation, it's about giving gifts. Even after a lengthy explanation of why I don't want any gifts, how I have enough stuff and don't even buy things for myself anymore, tradition ends up being more important than my wishes. This response, of course, made me even less interested in participating, as it only confirmed my initial belief.
(As a side note, the same year I made that suggestion, I got a ticket for something I _really_ didn't want to go to, which put me in a situation of feeling terrible both if I went and if I didn't. I ended up not going and my dad thought I was an ungrateful prick - But I never wanted the ticket in the first place, he insisted on getting me something even though I didn't want anything, and he didn't know me well enough to get me something that I would've enjoyed. It's a very weird situation, but sticking to tradition is the most important thing, even if it makes everyone feel bad)

Does this make me a 'rebel'? I just do what I believe in, I don't deny myself a birthday celebration just because everyone else wants one, neither do I accept one just because everyone else wants me to. I am sad to see the attitude people show in this thread, that one should subdue their own thoughts and feelings and just subscribe to what everyone else thinks. It's no wonder culture becomes flat and meaningless.

Bringing up the fact that you just want to have a good time with friends and family (in the way Katfayheirti did also) is almost a straw man - that's what I want too.

[s.ketch]

Yeah man, people don't eat breakfast anymore, they just follow some standardized ritual put forth by society that we all call breakfast. Do you even think about what breakfast means? Do you even know where the food comes from? We only eat breakfast because we're expected to eat breakfast. Everyone is a puppet man, totally.

Does this make me "enlightened?" Does it make me a "free thinker?" Nah man, I put on my pants on just like everyone else except I truly understand the significance of putting on pants.

[Suncut]

I think birthdays have become a meaningless ritual in society, it is something that people attend to because it is what's expected of them and because it's what has always been done.

I think your problem really isn't with birthdays, but with the people around you. It sucks that they don't actually want to take your feelings into consideration, but that's hardly a birthday problem per se. If that's the norm where you live, well that's horrible.

None of my family and friends gets bend out of shape if someone doesn't want to celebrate their birthday, actually they most probably don't even notice. But everyone likes a good birthday party if someone wants to arrange one. Last year I celebrated my birthday by going to my folks, filling and decorating a cake and then eating it with the family. That was fun, cause it was exactly what I wanted that year, this year I didn't celebrate my birthday with my family at all, just baked a cake for my friends because I wanted to. Next year I might not do anything, or there might be a big party, who knows. Point is, I celebrate my birthday like I want to, and everyone else does the same. There certainly aren't gifts involved between friends. I get some gifts from my folks, but I always know what I'm getting, so I always get something I need. I'm sure if I told them no gifts, they'd be just as happy. Might try to give me money instead, maybe.

Some of my friends celebrate their birthdays, some don't, I don't remember any of the dates anyway. My parents never celebrate their own birthdays. No one feels forced to celebrate or not celebrate and the parties are always fun. I certainly don't feel like the parties are a meaningless ritual.

I think there's a difference between going to a birthday party you don't want to go, and making your mom happy by having a dinner with her on your birthday. If something's that important to someone close to me I don't see it as a grand sacrafice to see them and spend a little time with them. And since you're the bithdayboy/girl, you get to pick what you do anyway, right?

[Crass]

Yeah man, people don't eat breakfast anymore, they just follow some standardized ritual put forth by society that we all call breakfast. Do you even think about what breakfast means? Do you even know where the food comes from? We only eat breakfast because we're expected to eat breakfast. Everyone is a puppet man, totally.

Does this make me "enlightened?" Does it make me a "free thinker?" Nah man, I put on my pants on just like everyone else except I truly understand the significance of putting on pants.

The only one who is on a high horse is you.

[Gloominati]

Wheeeeeeee birthdayyyy
:cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader:http://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/cheesedance.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/banana.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/cheesedance.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/banana.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/cheesedance.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/banana.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/banana.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/cheesedance.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/banana.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/cheesedance.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/cheesedance.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/banana.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/cheesedance.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/cheesedance.gifhttp://www.majhost.com/gallery/DarkRonin03/Boardz/banana.gif :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader: :cheerleader:



.......sweet


Edit:

Am I the only one who enjoys getting drunk with good friends having a good time on birthdays?? :sadcheerleader:

[LostFayth]

Am I the only one who doesn't like celebrating her birthday? I'm turning 20 tomorrow and I want to do absolutely nothing. Except for maybe drawing. My mom keeps on begging me to do something, or allowing herself to give me something. I don't really want anything more. I'm already getting some allowance from her and I feel bad enough about it as it is.


Well....The funny thing is. I happen to become 20 today (13th). So I'm one day older! xD.

Ok, back to topic. I also didn't want to do anything, but my mom kept asking me to do so: "You're gonna be 20 once in your life..blabla". So I agreed. I do want to draw all day, but my uncle will come with my cousins and two of my best friends. I'm gonna keep it small and cozy. No big party or anything and at the end of the day I'm gonna do my drawings and sketches. So my mom gets what she wants and I do too.

My 18th birthday was the end of all parties. There is no fun in celebrating it anymore, imo.

Oh, and happy birthday! :)

[Ninjerk]

The only one who is on a high horse is you.

No, I am, too. Birthdays are fun as hell (let's assume that hell is a fun place). I regret not doing anything about them for about 10 years of my life.

[Nrx]

theres more to life than art, stop playing victims.

and for everyone turning 20 soon we should make a seperate thread so we can alll be scared together :P

[Muz]

You do know that logans run was a fictional movie right?

[Ryuartyi]

I love doing stuff on my birthday, it's just an excuse to get together with some friends and family (plus getting money on those days while jobless is a god-send). My next birthday is my 21st so I plan on going out drinking with friends.

It's just a good day to relax, take that break you wanted. Some of you really need to chill once and a while.

[The7Artist7]

I think birthdays are awesome! :D but should always be about showing that the person whose birthday it is is valued - not just blind tradition. I enjoy a quiet simple day with close family only - tasty food, a little wine and a good film or two :^^: ...chillin...

I almost forgot! - we always make a huge home-made triple-layer choc cake that lasts a week!! :steph: lol I'll be 29 this year...

I can appreciate it's not always that easy - all the best :)

[Black Spot]

It's the one time of year that you can get out of washing up and the family has to be civil to you.

[Darkmoon]

uhm... waaaa cry more newb?

I love birthdays. I dont usually get presents, but i love cards and that people acknowledge my existence ONCE A YEAR and decide to celebrate that! I is special :)

If you dont wanna celebrate your life, thats cool. But IMO your being selfish. You dont even KNOW what your mom went through to bring you into this world. You can't be positive and have a good time and not be EMO for one day just to make the people around you happy? your a dick.

[Nrx]

You do know that logans run was a fictional movie right?

mass media told me by 21 i'd be rich and famous, so far i've left college twice and been removed from my job... i think the media might be lieing

[corspufo]

I LOVE birthdays. I don't want presents, I don't want parties, I just LOVE for a reason to have ALL my friends in one spot and have a hell of a good time. On top of that, I feel like everything that happened that day was all a present for me. On my birthday the DOW was up 12 points, all because it was my birthday. Wooo economy!

So if you don't like having your friends over, if you don't like having fun, then happy birthday from Corspufo anyway because I'm sending you birthday CA internet hugz.

Also, you're about to be 20, still at home and receiving an allowance............that's gotta be a present in itself.

[Katfayheirti]

theres more to life than art, stop playing victims.

and for everyone turning 20 soon we should make a seperate thread so we can alll be scared together :P

Damn, I'm turning 21 next month and now I feel ooooooold. :drinkup:

[GriNGo]

Birthdays are cool, even if you only celebrate with your mom. Think it of this way: it's the day that she was the most happy in her life (cause she got you), and she just wants to remember it.

[Dusty]

Only thing I've ever asked for my birthday is a wheelbarrow to carry around all of this awesome.

See, when you're awesome by nature (like I am) every day is your birthday

Deserves quoting.
I treat every day like it's awesome...I'm pretty much never negative and that's how I live through life, because life is also awesome.

Birthdays are just more awesome than the regular level of awesomeness...so I like them, too.

[Ninjerk]

You do know that logans run was a fictional movie right?

You're not 30 yet lololol

[ArtZealot]

Only thing I've ever asked for my birthday is a wheelbarrow to carry around all of this awesome.

See, when you're awesome by nature (like I am) every day is your birthday

Effin' halarious. 5 star post. I think i'll adopt that philosophy and buy myself a wheelbarrow.

[alesoun]

Hah! It's my sis's birthday on Saturday. She's been 20 three times so far. If I forget to at least send her a card, she'll do heart surgery on me......... and she'll go in through my feet!

[Katfayheirti]

http://files.nireblog.com/blogs4/oprenzipet/files/pbf032-todays_my_birthday.gif

[Elwell]

best strip ever

[Wooly ESS]

I used to enjoy celebrating my birthday, but after about six decades of them, the bloom is somewhat off the rose. That was about the time I began to realize the true significance of birthdays.

Whether or not you enjoy celebrating your birthday is a truly personal thing, and you don't need to question yourself on it. In the end, it doesn't matter because we're all dead anyways.

[Liffey]

In the end, it doesn't matter because we're all dead anyways.

We're only dead if we don't live. Go birthdays! :D

[Slash]

Turned a quarter of a century this wednesday. 'Twas a lot of fun, just chillin with my girl. Birthdays can be boring, or loads of fun. Its all about what YOU make them into. Don't be a drag.

[TASmith]

For anyone who doesn't want gifts, just tell folks to give money to Doctors without Borders. They can't say no to that, and then the money's put to good use.

[Troubadour]

i find the fact that you mentioned 'when' your birthday is kind of vain :P if you dont like it you dont like it.

but i agree with the other posts telling you to do it for your mother rather than yourself, she's glad she's had you and wants to celebrate that, whys that so horrible.
i understand you feel bad about your parents giving you money, i hate it too, but the way my mom explained it is, theyre your parents, thats what they are there for, to support you (as well as love and give you yummy home cooked meals). Some kids dont even get that much from their parents. It's good that you want to make it on your own but if they have no problem with it just show how thankful you are to have them there for you.

also i LOVE birthdays, its the one day i win all arguments...because its my birthday damnit....

[Pierce9]

I hate people, but love gatherings.

[Crass]

i

but i agree with the other posts telling you to do it for your mother rather than yourself, she's glad she's had you and wants to celebrate that, whys that so horrible.


The cognitive loop here is amazing. She had a child and that makes her happy, she wants to celebrate it but the child does not. They go through with the celebration for the sake of the mother even though it leaves the child feeling uncomfortable, but from where then comes the joy of having a child, if not from the joy of the child?

[s.ketch]

Look dude, I know you're fresh into university and your head is buzzing with all these new ideas and big words but regurgitating your philosophy textbook does not equal intelligence. You're making a very simple situation into some more-important-than-life philosophical conundrum.

Most young adults (or kids, if you want to be technical), do not like their parents. There in a stage of life where they're trying to separate from the nest and establish their own identity. You do this by trying to sound really smart and treating everything incredibly seriously. Which is cool, but a few years from now you're going to look back and laugh at how anal retentive you sound right now.

Parents just don't understand. They're just selfish Nazi's who want to control you and make your life as miserable as possible. Family doesn't act like family, don't really care about you. True friends are scarce and you just want to be alone. You want to be alone because you're different from everyone around you and no one can relate to your uniqueness. Blah Blah Blah more average teen rambling.

Welcome to awareness. Parent's are far from perfect but they mean well. It doesn't matter if you think birthdays are meaningless, they don't. Cakes, balloons, presents, etc are all symbols. No shit Sherlock. Humans communicate through symbols if you haven't noticed through all of your edumacted learnings. If you don't believe in the symbol, fine, but again, they do. I don't believe in God but I still put up a Christmas tree each year. I still find beauty and meaning in the nativity story.

Doing it for them is something called consideration. They're trying to express their love by celebrating your birth. Some of us do celebrate our births every day. I like to think some people are thankful to still be alive. And in order to show that gratitude they live their life a certain way. If you're asking why if our birthdays are so important then why don't we have cake and balloons everyday, then you're stepping on your own logic. If it happens very often, it loses meaning. You'd rather have meaningless symbols every day than sort-of meaningful symbols once a year? Kind of silly for someone who has such disdain for societal traditions.

Your mind is nothing without your heart. I don't give a fuck if you can find bad logic in everything around you, without emotion you're just another asshole. Don't be an asshole. Factor human emotion into your equations on how people should or shouldn't behave. You're human after all. You can not escape us. Resistance is futile.

[Crass]

Look dude, I know you're fresh into university and your head is buzzing with all these new ideas and big words but regurgitating your philosophy textbook does not equal intelligence. You're making a very simple situation into some more-important-than-life philosophical conundrum.

Most young adults (or kids, if you want to be technical), do not like their parents. There in a stage of life where they're trying to separate from the nest and establish their own identity. You do this by trying to sound really smart and treating everything incredibly seriously. Which is cool, but a few years from now you're going to look back and laugh at how anal retentive you sound right now.

Parents just don't understand. They're just selfish Nazi's who want to control you and make your life as miserable as possible. Family doesn't act like family, don't really care about you. True friends are scarce and you just want to be alone. You want to be alone because you're different from everyone around you and no one can relate to your uniqueness. Blah Blah Blah more average teen rambling.

Welcome to awareness. Parent's are far from perfect but they mean well. It doesn't matter if you think birthdays are meaningless, they don't. Cakes, balloons, presents, etc are all symbols. No shit Sherlock. Humans communicate through symbols if you haven't noticed through all of your edumacted learnings. If you don't believe in the symbol, fine, but again, they do. I don't believe in God but I still put up a Christmas tree each year. I still find beauty and meaning in the nativity story.

Doing it for them is something called consideration. They're trying to express their love by celebrating your birth. Some of us do celebrate our births every day. I like to think some people are thankful to still be alive. And in order to show that gratitude they live their life a certain way. If you're asking why if our birthdays are so important then why don't we have cake and balloons everyday, then you're stepping on your own logic. If it happens very often, it loses meaning. You'd rather have meaningless symbols every day than sort-of meaningful symbols once a year? Kind of silly for someone who has such disdain for societal traditions.

Your mind is nothing without your heart. I don't give a fuck if you can find bad logic in everything around you, without emotion you're just another asshole. Don't be an asshole. Factor human emotion into your equations on how people should or shouldn't behave. You're human after all. You can not escape us. Resistance is futile.

Why can't you just be respectful if you want to discuss this? You don't know me, talking out of your ass like that is pointless. I find it interesting to think about how people act and why, this is a thread about how people act and you've been on me twice already trying to pin an attitude on me that I don't have. If you don't want to discuss it, fine, if you do want to discuss it, try a different approach.

[Elwell]

Live your life however you the hell you want.
Are you the only one that X? There are over six billion human beings on this planet. You're not the only person who ANYTHINGS.

[Nrx]

Off topic slightly but why dont people like getting presents?

i love giving and reciving presents, nothing better than getting somone a really personal gift, its rare that anyone ever does that for me but when they do its a really great feeling? (also getting new stuff for free is great)

so yeah, whats up with that?

[s.ketch]

Why can't you just be respectful if you want to discuss this? You don't know me, talking out of your ass like that is pointless. I find it interesting to think about how people act and why, this is a thread about how people act and you've been on me twice already trying to pin an attitude on me that I don't have. If you don't want to discuss it, fine, if you do want to discuss it, try a different approach.

Respectful? You're the one who's been implying that people who celebrate birthdays do so because they're sheep.

You're not making sense. There is nothing logical, academic, scientific, or intelligent about reducing human behavior down to an equation. Seeing society as meaningless isn't a point of intellectual superiority. Just because you understand how something works doesn't make it any less meaningful.

You acknowledge that the traditional birthday is a societal tradition that makes use of many symbols to achieve different goals. You assume that nobody else understands this. You can't understand how people could willingly participate in something that is so banal to yourself. Therefore there must be something wrong with us.

Today is my birthday, really. I am about to leave for dinner with my parents. Why? Because I am hungry, I don't spend much time with them, and I know they enjoy spending time with me. Not because it is expected of me, not because society wants me to. I am now 21 years old. I will go to a bar tomorrow and drink with my friends to celebrate. Why? Because I like to drink, because it is a tradition in my country, and because I enjoy spending time with my friends. How is this meaningless if it means something to me? There is no reason other than "I choose to." No ulterior motive, no fetishes, no means to an end.

I have had those birthdays where I didn't want to do anything, last year was one of them. I understand the feeling. I also know that the reason I felt that way was just a temporary thing. I was being all depressed and overly-introspective as many people my age are. It was silly of me to not do anything just because I felt down. I wish my parents or my friends would have come and dragged me out of the house and made me do something. But they respected my wishes as any rational, non-psychologically impaired person would and left me alone. But that's just more time I wasted with myself rather than spending it with those who mattered.

[Crass]

Off topic slightly but why dont people like getting presents?

i love giving and reciving presents, nothing better than getting somone a really personal gift, its rare that anyone ever does that for me but when they do its a really great feeling? (also getting new stuff for free is great)

so yeah, whats up with that?


I'd like a gift if there was a thought behind it, if it was something that showed that the person who gave it to me knew what I wanted, even if I didn't know it myself. I have never really gotten a gift like that though, the standard thing around here is that you ask people what they want, and whatever they say that is what you get them. But if I need something specific I usually just buy it, why wait for my birthday or Christmas just so that someone else can buy it for me? If you don't come up with anything, you get money, I mean come on really? Money?

[Jason Manley]

thanks for raining on my parade elwell. for a second i thought my ability to lift my wacom with my mind while balancing on my pinky finger made me special.

[Elwell]

It's about time someone took you down a peg, Manley!

[PieterV]

Heh, I can't remember the last time I had a birthday party. I really hate all the attention, usually don't even tell my friends untill a week later or so.
Don't mind celebrating stuff at all, just not when it's all about me ;P

[Crass]

Respectful? You're the one who's been implying that people who celebrate birthdays do so because they're sheep.

You're not making sense. There is nothing logical, academic, scientific, or intelligent about reducing human behavior down to an equation. Seeing society as meaningless isn't a point of intellectual superiority. Just because you understand how something works doesn't make it any less meaningful.

You acknowledge that the traditional birthday is a societal tradition that makes use of many symbols to achieve different goals. You assume that nobody else understands this. You can't understand how people could willingly participate in something that is so banal to yourself. Therefore there must be something wrong with us.

Today is my birthday, really. I am about to leave for dinner with my parents. Why? Because I am hungry, I don't spend much time with them, and I know they enjoy spending time with me. Not because it is expected of me, not because society wants me to. I am now 21 years old. I will go to a bar tomorrow and drink with my friends to celebrate. Why? Because I like to drink, because it is a tradition in my country, and because I enjoy spending time with my friends. How is this meaningless if it means something to me? There is no reason other than "I choose to." No ulterior motive, no fetishes, no means to an end.

I have had those birthdays where I didn't want to do anything, last year was one of them. I understand the feeling. I also know that the reason I felt that way was just a temporary thing. I was being all depressed and overly-introspective as many people my age are. It was silly of me to not do anything just because I felt down. I wish my parents or my friends would have come and dragged me out of the house and made me do something. But they respected my wishes as any rational, non-psychologically impaired person would and left me alone. But that's just more time I wasted with myself rather than spending it with those who mattered.

There is a difference in making general observations about the culture you live in and trying to undermine the character of an individual. Saying anything at all about me as a person is completely unnecessary, if you think I am wrong, then why don't you stick to putting what I say in question instead of making comments about what you think I'm like?

What I tried to do on the first page of this thread was to explain why I don't like to celebrate my birthday, and at the same time start a discussion on the tradition of birthday celebrations. Granted I realized soon after that the way I put it did come off as a bit pretentious, but there wasn't really a point in changing it once you had already posted your attempt in mocking me.

I still think what I said applies. When my family (my fathers side) celebrates a birthday they are playing a game of celebrating birthdays, and it makes me very uncomfortable when I am forced to participate. I don't assume that no one realizes how and why and what symbols are involved in a birthday celebration, what I said was that it has become _about_ the symbols, and I provided my example to prove this point - celebrating my birthday without them is just as unthinkable as not celebrating it at all, and so celebrating my birthday is not about my birthday, but about the celebration.

I think this is very interesting, and I don't think it's reducing human behavior to an equation. I do think it is something that is common in society, but I never said, and I don't think that means that you or anyone else should stop doing anything if it makes you happy. If you enjoy celebrating your birthday with your family and friends then that's terrific. But it doesn't make me happy, am I not allowed then to think about it, to find out what does?

What I wanted was to discuss this, not pass myself off as an intellectual. Maybe I was clumsy, English isn't my first language, or maybe you misunderstood. It doesn't really matter at this point.

[GriNGo]

Soooooo..... velderia... how did the birthday turn out in the end?

[Straight Edge Ryan]

This is a thread about birthdays and lo and behold people have found a way to argue. It's official, people on this board can argue about anything

[Moai]

This is a thread about birthdays and lo and behold people have found a way to argue. It's official, people on this board can argue about anything

I disagree!

[Arshes Nei]

Thanks for not wishing me a happy birthday on Wednesday jerks! I was expecting some free stuff too! >:E

(just felt like totally making this thread about me ;) )

[daestwen]

Okay.

If you like to celebrate birthdays, good for you.

If you don't, good for you.

No point arguing about it.

My family never made a huge deal about birthdays... sometimes I use it as an excuse to do something awesome that I wouldn't otherwise, but mostly I let it slip by unnoticed (easy since it's close to christmas). I don't ask for gifts, but I take them when they are offered, same with christmas. I like it when people draw me stuff for my birthday, but I like it when people draw me stuff any day, so. I usually forget people's birthdays so I don't see why I would expect people to remember mine. :]

The only time I feel it's actually important, rather than just random fun, are times like this may, where my grandmother turned 90. That's a damn achievement, that is!

The exception for me, however, will be on 2012. My birthday that year will be 12/12/12 and I will be having a fucking HUGE party, just because i'm a nerd and I like numbers! And why not?

ps, you are all invited. :P

pps. except if you don't like birthdays, then you are invited but not obligued to come.

ppps. if you don't like birthdays, but do like parties, you could come and pretend it's a party for 21/12/12? Just too early...?

[Crash]

Meh, sit in your corner and cry all you want.

Im having a parteeeeeeeeh!



Im going to be 24 and i dont feel a day older than 18, im just heavier. I do understand that some people dont like to get to much attention but if your mother wants to celebrate you, why not? I dont think she does it to fuck with you. She probably loves you even if it feels like she does it so it will look good for the surrounding crowd.

Look at it this way; You will get cake! A m********** CAKE!

Im psyked, im comming to your party.

[Crane]

Im poor, how else am i gonna get the massive black dvds and downloads and books? hu hu?!

[Harkins]

the only difference between my birthday and every other day is ice cream cake and i dont have to buy my own drinks. :)

[•Lindsay•]

Don’t celebrate it out of courtesy, that’s no fun. Get something you want out of it. Birthdays don’t suck when you get what you want. I don’t know if I believe you when you say you want to avoid your birthday. Sounds like you want to avoid your mother. Or maybe you want to avoid the money your mother gives you. If you feel bad about the allowance, tell her to quit giving you allowance, and then maybe you’ll be able to get through the birthdays without guilt. You’re 21, don’t just say “no” over and over like a little kid, find a polite way to explain it. I doubt your mother enjoys your birthdays much if you’re only letting her visit out of politeness anyway.

[matunechka]

When I was small girl my favourite holiday was my birthday. But recently I've changed my mind. First of all birthday reminds you about your years, and secondly I thinks it causes waste of money!

[Jushra]

If you don't want to celebrate something... don't. Just be ready for those who do not understand your position to give you some hell about it. Easy.

[Ninjerk]

English isn't my first language

Your English is better than a multitude of people who've never known anything else. Let's go back and look at some of your points and see if you were being clumsy.

I think it's a stupid tradition and I think it's idiotic to designate special days of the year to buy stuff for each other for no other reason than that it's "that day".
I also think it's the great tragedy of modern society and I don't want to be part of it.
The underlying purpose of celebrating the life of a friend has been lost in favor of the same mindless consumption
I am sad to see the attitude people show in this thread, that one should subdue their own thoughts and feelings and just subscribe to what everyone else thinks.
If going against the grain makes people think I'm weird, or an asshole, then so be it.
Does this make me a 'rebel'? I just do what I believe in...

This is my favorite part:

I realized soon after that the way I put it did come off as a bit pretentious

I think the dispute that's arisen here is a result of you expecting everyone else' experience to match yours, but unfortunately I don't think that's the case. Buck's first response was spot on, imo.

[Cundmaethor]

i think you are not the only one xD,,,,, they just reward me one thing,,,,most of times i need that thing

[KarylGilbertson]

Can I just say, (most of) you guys are FUCKING YOUNG!!! I feel like one of those guys who keeps going to high-school parties 10 years later... I can only imagine how Ilaekae feels :D

[Cheboboh]

@Velderia: I know exactly how you feel, my birthday is coming up soon aswell and im also turning 20! :D
I dont really feel like having anything big for my birthday, perhaps just invite some friends. Nothing too fancy :)

[Quike Garcia]

Saw it today.. read Daestwen post.. and I realized that in two years I'm going to make a rad par-tay... 11/11/11.. Is going to rock...

Parties are great.. doesn't matter why you celebrate as long as you celebrate!!!

[Ilaekae]

My wife and I still celebrate our birthdays with a "present" of something major we need. Other than that, it's just fun to make fun of each other for getting more wrinkled, stiff and making funny noises when we move...

[SenEnd]

Birthdays are fun :anime:

[nlcky]

No threadstarter, you are not the only one. I apparently banned birthday parties when I was about 6 :\ . I accept gifts/etc and go out if family members want to take me because it's not really for me. But if no one offers I'm perfectly happy to not notice.

[Mike D]

You are experiencing what many of us have come to expect when it comes to birthday's The excitement and inner child enjoyment of the day, wain's a bit as you age and that daily count down most of us just turns into a "damn, getting older' process.

But when it comes to getting excited when your mom wants to do nice things for you, and your desire to just get away and be left alone, kind of is a selfish reasoning.

I know this is a personal issue and noone should ever tell someone how they should feel and or react on any given day of there lives. But it's easy to feel you have an option when an option is available to you to decide and react upon.

What I'm saying is that yes a birthday is of course a sign that you're getting older, or just another day as the excitement is long lost. But to those that love and care for you, they just want to make that day a special day for you so that you can see how much they love you and only want to make you smile and be happy...even if it is just for a day.

Now imagine if that option were gone, imagine if those that made a bigger deal out of your birthday's were unable or uncaring and you were left only with the knowledge that you are older with noone to even share it with.

For me this is how it is/was. I still don't get all that excited for my birthday or really any other holidays for that matter. But more that I know what it's like to not have an option in this matter.

I'm an only child, I have no relationship with any of my family. My father left me when I was a baby, and my mother left me when I was 16. Many birthday's and holiday's passed where I never heard a "happy birthday" no present's, cards..nothing. When you have noone acknowledging your birthday's and noone desiring to buy you a present, You don't have the choice anymore and you appreciate it if anyone bother's to even remember.....just to know that someone cares enough about you to want to make your day a little brighter.

Now, I have a family of my own and yes I still have a hard time getting excited about birthdays, but I realize my family just wants me to be happy, they want to show me they love me and appreciate me. Presents are superficial of course, but you can't always sit or play with love and a gift can be a nice reminder of your family's love for you.

Yes, you can take what I said as crap..or you can see that your mom just wants you to feel special and enjoy your day. It's easy to dismiss when you have the option you feel you deserve.

[PxelSlayer]

In 3 days I`ll be turning 25. And no, there will be no celebration. Why bother? I`ve spent 1/3 of my life (statistically) and have done absolutely nothing worth wile. I didn`t graduate from college (I dropped out), I don`t have a job, I`m seriously f*%#@ up (thanks mom & dad), and to top it all off - I manage to achieve a whole new level of SUCK with every drawing of mine. I`m single. I`m broke. I`m screwed. And just too tired to care. And the fact that on every b-day of mine my mom managed to somehow injure herself (cutting her hand with a knife, breaking her ankle - every year it was something) didn`t help. I just don`t have a feeling it`s "my day".

Mental note - call mom on Sunday to check up on her.

K, now hit me with dying kittens and all that stuff...

Here`s to me - still alive, against all odds. Happy B-Day.

[Randis]

Getting all emo and feeling too old for this world with 20? nah, you are not alone.

You should celebrate with your mom tho, she has more right to celebrate than you on this matter. She gave you birth and raised you for 20 years.
Our BDs are special day for our parents.

[Ian Miles]

I´m dangerous close to 30´s And I don´t wanna know even my age. I have so much that I want to do before I grow up...

[Ariel9]

Randis is right, and they're not only special for our parents.
It's a meaningless ritual or lack thereof ONLY if you want to make it so.

I always celebrate my best friends' bdays, and my gf's, and my closest relatives. Why? Because I fuckin' love them to pieces and that's the day they were born. You must have persons you love: what would your life be without them? Aren't you glad they're into this world, in your life?
I may be ridiculously naive, but I'm grateful the people I love exist, they just couldn't be replaced.
Do you think you're so unloved someone else doesn't feel this way about you, too? Can't you allow them to show you that the day you were born was the most awesome day of all, because it led to them having you in their life?

If you're really gonna be that annoyed, then just don't celebrate it, I'm not saying you should feel obliged, but just THINK what people mean to you for a second and then ask yourself if being born and still alive isn't something precious that should be celebrated.

[Droid]

Growing old doesn't mean growing up.

Just look at Ilaekae.

;)

Oh, 12/12/12 party?

I'm there. :D

Party at daestwen's house!

[GammaRadiation-X]

I'm one of the "oh shit, another year down, have I wasted my life??" people. Then again, I'm just nervous and tend to overreact/assume the worst about harmless things. I have regrets from being a shithead and getting worse at everything since I was sixteen (And god knows worrying about losing the elasticity of my brain is a huge concern for me.)

But my mother has already began to ask what I want for my birthday (November 6, Yes, I will be turning twenty oh god I'll be a true manchild) and has presented a list to my other relatives. Basically, things I'll be needing for college (Like lots and lots of acrylics and related things. They want me to be specific.)

I get a bit uncomfortable with a ton of attention directed at me, but thankfully my past few birthdays have been more personal. Going to a nice restaurant with my family and a friend, and getting something useful. God knows I'll need a lot of stuff for the next few years, and I don't have a job anymore.

I've received crappy gifts from a really wealthy section of the family that could afford vacations all the time, nice homes (Yes, plural), parties, father was a lawyer, etc., that always gave people tacky junk that didn't work. Getting rid of that was a hassle. And yes, I do think it was rather thoughtless, so I just hope they don't know about my birthday. But then that might make them feel bad, and then I'd feel really guilty. Oh well. They're not invited.

I get guilty when I feel like I'm asking for too much stuff, or expecting too much (And tough times are upon us.), and in general I ask for little. It's really nice to have one day to be selfish without guilt (And everyone gets to go to a restaurant!). Trying to see it more from the "special screw-off day"/year milestone angle than the "oh shit I'm older and going nowhere am I??" angle.

[c-hsu-run]

I like birthdays (definitely when I count them as "I haven't died yet, yay."), but I hate throwing parties. It's all stress and no fun. :<

So during high school every year, my friends and I would go to Downtown Disney and eat at the Rainforest Cafe and then get some banana fosters at the Jazz Kitchen. Then we all go shopping and talk about things. And that was my birthday.

Ah, those were the times. Nowadays I just eat sushi on my birthday.

[Flake]

Growing old doesn't mean growing up.


Quite.

Getting old is unavoidable, maturity is optional.

The way I see it, it goes Infancy > Youth > Maturity > Old > Death, so if I just avoid maturity I live forever or something..

[vampire cervix]

In 3 days I`ll be turning 25. And no, there will be no celebration. Why bother? I`ve spent 1/3 of my life (statistically) and have done absolutely nothing worth wile. I didn`t graduate from college (I dropped out), I don`t have a job, I`m seriously f*%#@ up (thanks mom & dad), and to top it all off - I manage to achieve a whole new level of SUCK with every drawing of mine. I`m single. I`m broke. I`m screwed. And just too tired to care. And the fact that on every b-day of mine my mom managed to somehow injure herself (cutting her hand with a knife, breaking her ankle - every year it was something) didn`t help. I just don`t have a feeling it`s "my day".

Mental note - call mom on Sunday to check up on her.

K, now hit me with dying kittens and all that stuff...

Here`s to me - still alive, against all odds. Happy B-Day.

That's more or less what i wanted to say...