Need Psychological Help (Artists Breakdown!)

[Mordus]

I am currently experiencing what I suppose must be the artistic equivalent of a nervous breakdown and stagnation of work.
Up until recently, I was strapped for ideas - yet the art was flowing fast and well, and I produced some of my favourite pieces, however unimaginative some may have been. (I just rehashed old reliable styles and projects). I was constantly scribbling and doing art, and was satisfied with my advances in art if nothing else. I even tried out some new techniques like inking watercolour drawings carefully for an Art Nouveau style.
Still, no new ideas. Then, a breakthrough. I have no idea what triggered it, but suddenly I had a surplus of ideas and concepts, yet then disaster struck.
I have an awful habit of becoming attached irrationally to particular pencils (my favourite medium is pencil on white A3), especially mechanical ones, which for some reason I love. I will pick a new pencil at random, get drawing and become obsessive about it. If I cant draw with my current pencil, I get moody and don't do any art, pencil or otherwise. Then, when it runs out, it is unceremoniously dumped into a bin, and I pick another and start again.
The reason is thus: while drawing with this pencil, it slowly begins to be worn down into a particular shape, which I find comfortable for drawing. Then I can kick into gear and get some new ideas down on paper. This golden period lasts about a week before the lead/pencil is broken/worn down/ lost etc.
Then I must start again with an unfamiliar pencil.
During this period of uninspired productivity, my pencil was in top condition. It finally gave up the ghost about a week or two ago (RIP lil buddy)
and I picked a new one. By the time I realized the lead was cracked and it was so difficult to draw with it (the constant switching of position in my hand meant it didn't wear down the way I desired it to.) I was already hooked on it, unable to switch to another pencil. It was a long drudging time of constant ideas with no art to match.
I finally pulled myself together and dumped it, snapping the lead into tiny bits to ensure I did no junky bin-fishing.
Then the horror dawned. There were no other mechanical pencils of the brand I love. I was marooned! Since, I have been unable to grab more (the local shop is out, more in on Tuesday a week from now!) and turned to rough pencils, practically charcoal sticks with their thickness and darkness (working pencils...) and they ruined me and some of best ideas. They creep to the cradle of my latest masterpiece and strangle it in its sleep, leaving just the cold body for me to poke helplessly.
I am beginning to lose it a bit actually - Even my paint work is suffering, because I cant draw properly. I gain no happiness from doing it, because the pencil work hiding beneath is an abomination in my eyes. Its affected me deeply, as my art and writing are a massive part of my life, almost dictating my mood. I feel depressed and gloomy, pessimistic. What makes it worse is the constant flashes of inspiration - elusive white rabbits I cant catch with these crude tools.
I suppose all I really ask of you is some reassurance and company. Maybe others have suffered as I do?...
What's worst are the dark moments where goat headed devils whisper black ideas in my ears. Sometimes I am convinced I can no longer draw...
HELP!

[soverynight]

:(

I cannot help with pencils but as a sanity check I'd do this:
- Sleep in the last 24 hours? If not, time for a nap
- Exercise much? If not, go and do something about that for about 20 minutes
- Done something fun lately? If not, go get some leisure time.
- FOOD. Good food usually will make you feel good.

- No art ideas? Draw crap and let yourself. Start a crap stack and leave art work there.

Also: My proff taught me this which I thought was really interesting and may help with getting new ideas. It is basically combination work. So you take 2 things that you like and combine them when normally you wouldn't. (I think there is actually a theory that there is no such thing as originality only the combination of various things in unique and different ways).
An example would be, take texture from one object and use it with another object. Or take layout from one scene and use it with another. The combination in itself can have varieties.

I'm not sure what else.. hope this helps.

[Nrx]

i sit here and i think to myself, nothing im about to write will be productive or kind, so i will simply say this.

[hala]

chipp kidd---"Don't get married to your ideas, they are like wh*res, there will always be new ones..."

just like artists cannot marry themselves to their ideas (or they will stunt their growth), you can't marry your materials and supplies either. Force yourself to constantly use different materials to draw with--this way you won't get caught in a cycle of being attached to a specific pencil.

uninspired times also warrant themselves as times to sit down and do master/referenced studies, since you won't have any images in your head that will be conveyed on the paper, you will be able to focus on the elements of what you are studying.

hope that helps some

[Eugie]

The tool does not produce art, the artist does, don't get too attached to one medium.

[ALH]

Then the horror dawned. There were no other mechanical pencils of the brand I love.

Surely if you're using mechanical pencils you can just replace the leads instead of throwing them away? :s

[Flake]

Down with OCD, yeah you know me.

We all have a lucky paintbrush or whatever, if it dies you get a new one.

[Eugie]

Surely if you're using mechanical pencils you can just replace the leads instead of throwing them away? :s

Yea, I was thinking the same exact thing how is it that your mechanical pencil keeps breaking within a week?

[Mordus]

On those asking about the leads: When I buy these pencils, they are never packaged with the extra leads. If I do buy the extra leads, in seconds they are lost. Its a bad habit yes, and I will rectify this in future.

Good news though.
About half and hour ago, I picked up a new mechanical pencil from a school supplies shop! I sat down, started drawing, and BANG! The mojo is back, and the ideas are in such abundance I dont think ill ever run out.
Thanks to everyone. Its such a self centered thread, but still people replied, and for the support I thank them :)