Mortals Seeking Vampires

[JackHatesJack]

Mortals Seeking Vampires (http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/lefanu/40/msv.html)

A through Zsuzsanna of the Fifth Level, God bless the internet. :patriot:

[Nibras]

Wow.

I think i'll email one of the "vampires" Maybe I can turn into an awesome drawing vampire

[Man Made God]

Vampires or not, these people are surely afraid of mirrors.

[Rist]

Mirrors are afraid of me, this is why they do not cast my reflection :batgirl::batgirl::batgirl:

wtf: :harbl:

[Carnifex]

this should seriously go into the cheer me up thread.
i'm rolling on the floor,seriously :D

[Dorkthrone]

Do they sparkle?

I'm not seeking sparkling vampires.

[Straight Edge Ryan]

reminds me of those kids in elementary school that always thought they had supernatural powers, you know the ones I'm talking about

[яequiem]

Some people need to stop watching so many movies.

[Mock]

This site is fantastic.

Can somebody direct me to the Humans Seeking Transformers site?

[TASmith]

I bet Kim Jong Il's on there somewhere. You know he regularly gets blood transfusions from young, virgin males, technically making him a vampire - source, The Economist.

[Dorkthrone]

reminds me of those kids in elementary school that always thought they had supernatural powers, you know the ones I'm talking about

Those people still exist.
Link (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/real-superpowers-psychicguild.php)

[kingshaj]

hahaha "no fakes please!"

and

"vampire on my father's side, witch on my mother's side."


HILARIOUS !
-

[chriskot]

Those people still exist.
Link (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/real-superpowers-psychicguild.php)
The realsuperpowers.com forum is probably the most painful thing I have ever read. Period. The idiocy is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

[Bill]

So, can Vampires get married in California?

[Mebiusu]

Somebody please help these people who cannot find their own arses in the dark and give them a road map to Capital Hill.
Everyone knows that is where the blood suckers are to be found.

[LORD M]

Is it legal to drive a stake through their hearts?

[Dorkthrone]

The realsuperpowers.com forum is probably the most painful thing I have ever read. Period. The idiocy is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

I think Yahoo Answers is a little worse, but this is very close to that level of idiocy.

Real Superpowers just doesn't have "HOW IS BABBY FORMED"
http://i.somethingawful.com//sasbi/2006/11/docevil/11-27-06_6.JPG

"How is babby formed" is the benchmark for internet stupidity for me.

[JackHatesJack]

I'm not exactly sure what I was looking at last night, but before finding that I came across another vampire related gem (http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/3666/geobook.html).

The whole website (http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/3666/) is a great memorial to how much the internet and its users used to REALLY suck. Personal favourite? The Kiefer Sutherland photo page.

[Straight Edge Ryan]

what's bad is they KNOW they don't have powers, no matter how hard they try and convince themselves there's always that part of their brain saying "you don't have powers, you're just a weird guy that wishes he did, you're never gonna get a girlfriend this way". Thing is, most people grow out of this phase past age 4

[Dorkthrone]

I'm not exactly sure what I was looking at last night, but before finding that I came across another vampire related gem (http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/3666/geobook.html).

The whole website (http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/3666/) is a great memorial to how much the internet and its users used to REALLY suck. Personal favourite? The Kiefer Sutherland photo page.

I found another one. (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/vampire-realm.php)

[kingshaj]

the site refers to a "vampire" making her cat sleepy
.... by draining it of its "life energy"?

i think i have accidentally done this too...

i can just stare at my cat, and make it very tired
to the extent that it loses consciousness completely and often sleeps for hours to recuperate


-
---

[Hookswords]

Man, if Hot Topic had a banner on that site they could make a killing.

[Zergaloth]

"Absinthe OK, if I don't know."

Vampires now officially afraid of alcohol.

[Atlantis]

i can just stare at my cat, and make it very tired
to the extent that it loses consciousness completely and often sleeps for hours to recuperate


Would you like to meet? I would like to learn about your kind.

[Dorkthrone]

the site refers to a "vampire" making her cat sleepy
.... by draining it of its "life energy"?

i think i have accidentally done this too...

i can just stare at my cat, and make it very tired
to the extent that it loses consciousness completely and often sleeps for hours to recuperate


-
---
Oh my god, we officially have a CA vampire here!

[MiniGoth]

:wtf:

Emotions are contagious. Vampires are imaginary. Were you to meet a real one, it would rip your idiot head off, bathe in the blood, and continue on its merry way.

(I particularly like 'I'm a vampire. I'm eighteen. ...you're a douche.)

[ChristianWeeks]

darwin's law at work.

[kingshaj]

my powers only my cats, oddly...hmmmm


,,,but i can make human yawn

[kingshaj]

Would you like to meet? I would like to learn about your kind.

are you a cat?

[Hexokinase]

Real Superpowers just doesn't have "HOW IS BABBY FORMED"
http://i.somethingawful.com//sasbi/2006/11/docevil/11-27-06_6.JPG


In case anyone hasn't seen it yet: http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf

[Dorkthrone]

In case anyone hasn't seen it yet: http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf

I am truely sorry for your lots.

[hippl5]

More lunatics.

Peesearch (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/peesearch.php). People who love swallowing and drinking urine.

[Psychotime]

Life is funny.

[VulgarDragon]

More lunatics.

Peesearch (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/peesearch.php). People who love swallowing and drinking urine.

People in India do that all the time.

7 billion people in the world and you're bound to have some weirdos....

KVZDcFY191Y&feature=related
aNgaRgWfF9c

Yup, there's lot more where that came from.

[Straight Edge Ryan]

You just kinda want to find these people and force them back into reality. It's always some pissy teenager that needs attention and talks like a douchebag, act like they have some mesmerizing stare and shit and are all "do not test my powers mortal. I am far older than you can possibly imag-"

"Keith honey do you want some hot pockets? I'm making hot pockets"

"MOM oh my gawwwd go away! I'm talking here THIS IS A SERIOUS DISCUSSION STOP TRYING TO CONTROL MY LIFE"

"So you don't want a hot pocket then?"

"I told you mom I don't eat human food anymore! Now begon mortal! I have serious business to attend to"

"as I was saying before I was interrupted by my thrall: I have seen things which thou can not imagine, I have lived for centuries, I am the murderer or thousands, I am the ruler of kingdoms, I am-"

"Oh by the way sweety don't forget your dad wants you to mow the lawn before it gets dark"

"MOM OH MY GOD YOURE TOTALLY RUINING MY LIFE GET OUT OF MY ROOM. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE MY AGE"

[Dorkthrone]

You just kinda want to find these people and force them back into reality. It's always some pissy teenager that needs attention and talks like a douchebag, act like they have some mesmerizing stare and shit and are all "do not test my powers mortal. I am far older than you can possibly imag-"

"Keith honey do you want some hot pockets? I'm making hot pockets"

"MOM oh my gawwwd go away! I'm talking here THIS IS A SERIOUS DISCUSSION STOP TRYING TO CONTROL MY LIFE"

"So you don't want a hot pocket then?"

"I told you mom I don't eat human food anymore! Now begon mortal! I have serious business to attend to"

"as I was saying before I was interrupted by my thrall: I have seen things which thou can not imagine, I have lived for centuries, I am the murderer or thousands, I am the ruler of kingdoms, I am-"

"Oh by the way sweety don't forget your dad wants you to mow the lawn before it gets dark"

"MOM OH MY GOD YOURE TOTALLY RUINING MY LIFE GET OUT OF MY ROOM. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE MY AGE"

That's kind of what it's like.

[Ilaekae]

Pleeeeeze...somebody kill me before I find another thread like this...

[TASmith]

I'll bury you with your paints as you requested.

[kyurai]

not exactly 18 year old vampires afraid of alcohol, but equally entertaining =)) : http://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/

[N D Hill]

You know, I'm sitting here laughing and cringing at the links posted in this thread and then I remembered an old, obscure thread right here on our very on CA. Click this. (http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=58307&highlight=vampire)

[Black Spot]

You know, I'm sitting here laughing and cringing at the links posted in this thread and then I remembered an old, obscure thread right here on our very on CA. Click this. (http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=58307&highlight=vampire)

I like silly threads.

[Straight Edge Ryan]

I like silly threads.

I agree. I say keep posting these kids of threads when you come across them. It's weirdos like that that make life interesting

[Sorknes]

We were talking about vampires once in IRC #conceptart, and I threw the line about me occasionally being a vampire. Sometimes life was a bit harsh and I would go as low as to feed on the sewer rodents, but when getting to play with sharp katanas it was ok.

The answers were, as you can pretty much imagine along the lines of "Yeah, Vampire the Masquerade was ok."

I did the same thing in another channel that shall be unnamed a little later, and I got as far as the rodent thing before I got serious questions about how it was and that a person had thought about trying with smaller animals first to see how a vampiric life would be before trying to contact someone like me.

WTF????? :jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop:

Thank goodness most of the people there were sane, and we were trying to tell this person it was a joke. A game joke. And this person and another made up their mind that this was me trying to hide that I had slipped.

:wtf::wtf::wtf:

Needless to say, I never ventured into THAT channel anymore. :nohope::nohope::nohope:

People out there. They scare me.
:xpld::xpld::xpld:

[arttorney]

Yeah. Well that's probably just the fruits of your drakness (???) you're feeling.

[Straight Edge Ryan]

By the way, speaking of vampires, am I the only one that things that typically in vampire movies, the vampire act like HUGE douchebags? Just the other night "Queen of the damned" was on, I hadn't seen it in years, and when I saw it I couldn't keep a straight face, the main dude was wearing skintight leather pants, a mesh shirt, and a look on his face like the soundtrack to his life was "I'm too sexy". Not to mention there was that part where he was feeding off his master for the first time, he was laying on his back sucking the dudes wrist with the other dude squatting over him, both were making moaning noises and I couldn't help but think "wow, that's a lot of homoerotic imagery there"

[Flake]

"Queen of the Damned" is one of the worst films ever made, watch "Let The Right One in" instead. Very slow, arty Swedish Vampire flick, well worth a look.

Horrific Hollywood remake is due so watch the original while you can..

[Dorkthrone]

"Queen of the Damned" is one of the worst films ever made, watch "Let The Right One in" instead. Very slow, arty Swedish Vampire flick, well worth a look.

Horrific Hollywood remake is due so watch the original while you can..

Let the Right One In kicks ass.

[Straight Edge Ryan]

"Queen of the Damned" is one of the worst films ever made, watch "Let The Right One in" instead. Very slow, arty Swedish Vampire flick, well worth a look.

Horrific Hollywood remake is due so watch the original while you can..

I think I remember my friend Laura telling me about it. Isn't something like she looks like a little girl even though she's really old?

[Dorkthrone]

While we're posting insane links, I found a site dedicated only to hating butterflies. (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/weekend-web/ki-sanctuary-ihatebutterflies.php?page=3)

[Bill]

At first I was like...

700297


but then I was like...

700298

[Flake]

I think I remember my friend Laura telling me about it. Isn't something like she looks like a little girl even though she's really old?

Yeah, that's the one.

Anyway, it features a distinct lack of camp dudes in mesh shirts miming to Korn records, so it's automatically superior to QotD.

[George Abraham]

I like to project shitty tatoo's onto David Blaine.

[Dorkthrone]

Yeah, that's the one.

Anyway, it features a distinct lack of camp dudes in mesh shirts miming to Korn records, so it's automatically superior to QotD.

Not to mention the lack of sparkling vampires, making it leaps and bounds above Twilight.

[Flake]

I still haven't seen that and I don't plan to.

I mean,c'mon Sparkling Vampires?

:nohope:

[Dorkthrone]

I still haven't seen that and I don't plan to.

I mean,c'mon Sparkling Vampires?

:nohope:

Don't. It's absolutely terrible.

[Sorknes]

Actually, I have to agree. Let the right one in is cool. It's weird in it's own Scandinavian (European?) way, but that movie has a good story.

[blueknightfox]

Underworld is my limit when it comes to vampire movies. It's more fun when they don't try to make it as real as they can.

Twilight fans are THE most annoying people on the planet. Yesterday I had the honor of sitting next to a table in Burger King loaded with mothers and daughters That couldn't stop talking about OMG EDWARD AND BELLA!!!

[Peter Coene]

Not to mention there was that part where he was feeding off his master for the first time, he was laying on his back sucking the dudes wrist with the other dude squatting over him, both were making moaning noises and I couldn't help but think "wow, that's a lot of homoerotic imagery there"

That would be the Ann Rice influence.

Yeah, I agree, the whole "good guy vampire" thing comes across as wannabe badass douschebaggery to me too. Unfortunately teenage prostatots slurp that stuff up faster than they slurp other substances that shall remain unnamed... and seeing as they will become the hot girls of the future I truly cringe at the thought of what will become of humanity.

However, the old Vampire movies, where the vampires were always evil half incubus demonic monsters were cool. I mean, Nosferatu style... and of course, the only worthwhile "Bella" to ever be in a vampire flick; Bella Lugosi.

[Choob]

LOL

Nothing like a sexy vampire chick if you're into leather and fangs.

=P

I has a superpower...

I can take other people's superpowers!

0.0

[Aly Fell]

LOL

Nothing like a sexy vampire chick if you're into leather and fangs.

0.0
But unless you're a sexy vampire bloke, also into leather and fangs you are merely food!

[Dorkthrone]

That would be the Ann Rice influence.

Yeah, I agree, the whole "good guy vampire" thing comes across as wannabe badass douschebaggery to me too. Unfortunately teenage prostatots slurp that stuff up faster than they slurp other substances that shall remain unnamed... and seeing as they will become the hot girls of the future I truly cringe at the thought of what will become of humanity.

However, the old Vampire movies, where the vampires were always evil half incubus demonic monsters were cool. I mean, Nosferatu style... and of course, the only worthwhile "Bella" to ever be in a vampire flick; Bella Lugosi.

I hear Werner Herzog's 70s remake of Nosferatu is pretty good too. And Let The Right One In is the closest to a good realistic vampire movie. It really is very good, and very creepy.

That is, until someone makes Guillermo Del Toro's novel The Strain into a movie.

[Choob]

But unless you're a sexy vampire bloke, also into leather and fangs you are merely food!

If you were a werewolf you could keep them in check. ;)

Should be the next DSG, werewolf and vampire lovers. :batgirl:
Hmmm...

LOL, I went on that real superpowers site, and those people actually believe they have a superpower.

Quite sad how delusioned some people are.

Their lives are so repetitive that their brain gives them hallucinations and other weird things, just to spice things up.

Who needs superpowers when you can have epic arty skills instead?

I gotta chat to some of those people.

"Powerfreak:Whats ur power?
Touchstone: I can eat a polo in three seperate peices...
Touchstone:...and regurgitate it whole! o.o!
Powerfreak:...wtf?"

[N D Hill]

I always liked Francis Ford Coppola's re-imagining of Bram Stoker's Dracula. It had some amazing art direction.

http://themoviebar.net/blog3/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/bsdracula-sb_shot3l.jpg

http://i12.tinypic.com/6qb0p08.jpg

[Aly Fell]

Yup, great film!

A much underrated vampire pic is The Addiction with Christopher Walken, directed by Abel Ferrara. And for viceral uncompromising vampires there's always Near Dark with the wonderful Lance Henriksen as a civil war vampire in the 20th century. Sir Christopher Lee is the best of the best though when it comes to Draculas! ;) However I have a personal soft spot for The Hunger for pure 80's Goth brilliance with Catherine Deneuve and David Bowie. You even get Susan Sarandon and Pete Murphy from Bauhaus thrown in for ultimate joy as well! It does go on a bit though... :)

http://www.jenettegoldstein.com/images_film/near_dark_roadhouse.jpg

http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Studio/1426/pics/hunger.jpg

http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00097/Dracula__1958__97903s.jpg

[kingshaj]

-----

[ChristianWeeks]

WHEW i was afraid I wouldnt be able to find this thread.

I felt it necessary to resurrect it since I was lifeguarding at the pool the other day and this girl kept telling me that she knew a vampire. She said he was their neighbors nephew so he came up every so often and they were afraid he was going to eat them. I told them he was full of shit and either pulling their legs or he's one of those psychotic retards thats on web forums like the ones brought up in this forum. Then she starting saying all this crap about how its a real disease and its called "Reinfelds Syndrome." I asked if part of the symptoms of Reinfelds involved cutting yourself and wearing all black (she said, ofcourse, that he was emo). She even said he has blood donors who give him blood so he can quench his thirst for it.

OFcourse, when I looked up Reinfelds Syndrome, lo and behold theres absolutely nothing on it. Just another load of bull? I think so. Has anybody else seen somebody use "Reinfelds Syndrome" to justify their vampiric fantisies?

[Hookswords]

It's a mental disorder. So basically she is justifying it by him being borderline retarded, which proves your point

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clinical_vampirism

[MiniGoth]

Begs the question - who's the bigger idiot, the one who's crying for attention, or the one who feeds the delusion?

[Keeviin]

In any case, it is a good idea to stay away from these people! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Trenton_Chase)