"New Born" -- Girl with the Botanical gun and other ideas

[hala]

I'm reserving this first post for the final image in the end.

My Idea: Thou will not kill those with ill intentions, but rather plant in their bodies a seed to manifest into change: a new beginning for them.

woo, dramatic. Still rough idea in the process. basically, woman with botanical gun that shoots seeds, she hunts bad people, and fosters the seed within them until they heal: hence giving them a second chance at life to reconcile all the bad they have done. lame? corny? maybe. i dunno. cliche in any way?

edit:
NOTE: The botanicals and "evil" elements of the male character were intentionally left out---I didn't want to bother painting them in, until I had a solid composition because I know that I would have to make a lot of basic structural changes. Thanks for viewing! : )

[hala]

sketch phase 01

not sure if i will just use this as the thumbnail sketch, or continue to paint and build on this image.

[madster]

Simply AWESOME idea!
I have no idea how you'll convey that (the rough just makes me think she shoots something that turns people into trees...), but I love the concept. It sounds like the premise for a great graphic novel.

Best of success to you!

(PS: If you are not fast, and not slow, you are "Half-fast.")

~M

[hala]

Thanks! ^^ That's encouraging. :)

Hmm, I've been having a lot of trouble coming up with a good image to convey my concept, so I appreciate your crit on the sketch. I'll def. change it and try again. :)


lol half fast ftw! xD

[vardoburrito]

ooooo.
[I should actually look into this Newborn thingy. There's one in the critique section and I think I want in.] :teeth:

Are you aiming for a funny take on this idea hala? :teeth:
If you need any ideas, blaah, check your pm. :P

[hala]

Gone through some more sketches and took madster's crit in mind

i'm gonna try and make the guy look as hateful and bad ass as I can through tattoo's scars/body modification, etc etc to get the point across that he's the bad guy. (simple archetypes here just for clarity).
and so that it doesn't seem like he's turning into a tree, the plant growing out of his wound will be turning into a tattoo as well, over his symbols of hate.
and she's there watching him heal with her big fat botancial gun on her shoulder.

I have some other elements in mind to add later to make it more clear that there is a narrative and a story going on.

Please let me knwo what you guys think about this, is my idea still not coming through the pic? is the idea going in the right direction


@dwardo: LOL ur suggestions were hilarious, since multiple entries are allowed maybe i will make a humorous sequel. I wanted this to be a commentary on the fact that we are all born innocent and that can be revived and brought back to life.

[hala]

Phase 3

This is more solid to crit on.
I know her neck is long, and her head is big fffff i'll change it later ><
Not done with the values at this point, still working on it.

[vardoburrito]

ooooo ... you're fast. Horizontal/Vert flip checks. I've got mine binded to 'F1' & 'F2' on de keyboard.
Whatever is in the heart trying to come out. Do it. But I'm always up for funnies. :P
[I forgot about multiple entries. Sweeeeet. :teeth:]

[vardoburrito]

I just had to get this out. [I can't work otherwise] But, is it manslaughter or murder?
She basically has the perfect reason to shoot someone short of it being a paintball gun.
And with that pensive look, there's got to be a smirk in there. She's basically getting away with murder. teeehehe

[Anyway, let's carry on.] :P

[hala]

oh lawl I haven't added the foliage yet so that it's apparent that he's healing and not dead xD i did have the idea of her having a some what cold/detached murderous air about her. even tho she shoots not to kill the person, but to killthe evil that suffocates goodness from growing within.

i'd like not to think of murder since my dad came in and said the man looks like my bf D: i really don't like the idea of shooting my bf. ;_; i can't force him into marriage then : O

anyway, thanks for the tip on setting my hotkeys up for flipping. i always forget to flip even tho that is essential >< god i fail for being a traditional art student. :(


here's an update, still lacking the botanicals, still working on the values. in the process of sharpening things up now.

[Nickillus]

A very individual take on it, Hala. There's some nice things going on in here. Her facial expression is coming along very nicely.
I'm not sure I'd guess the back story without your explanation though.

Many apologies in advance
a) for doing a bit of butchery on your composition without permission. No offence intended - and sorry if there is any given.
and b) making such a clumsy job of it,
but I hope you take it in the 'friendly suggestion' way I mean it. And it's just my thoughts, so do ignore if it doesn't do anything to help progress your idea.

I'm wondering a a few small adjustments to her pose might bring more of a relationshiip between them into it. She seems a bit detached at the moment. If you angle her shoulders towards him very slightly, move her bedside arm to an angle and correspondinly move his head about the same amount towards her- it brings a concern into her demeanour - as though she cares (?!?!?) - or at least I think it seemes she does.

I was also a bit worried by the gun cutting the composition iin half by going off the page. If she had it on the floor, holding it, it avoids that. I angled it that way, because if you angle it the other way, it becomes rather phallic to say the least! I, er, um found that out by trial and error.

Wondered also about linking the botanical gun theme to his wound by the addition of some sort of foilage around the gun and the wound?

Apologies again for the botchy, unsanctioned butchery of your image. I mean well - honest.
Best wishes,
Nick

[hala]

Thanks :) I will try to edit some of those things today. If you read my comments you'd see I do plan to have foliage around the gun and wound, I just haven't put it in there yet ;p

But i really appreciate it, butchery is a good thing :D I really like your suggestion for the gun, I was worried about it because I didn't like the fact that she is dead smack in the center (Bad compositional choice 1), and her gun intersected the whole piece (bad choice 2). xD So I will definitely be referencing your paint over and correcting that. The way you have it also solves some light issues since the gun was blocking the main light source, I didn't notice that till you did this paint over. :)

Can you explain what that is that you drew behind the bed? I'm not really sure what it is ><

Anyway, i wouldn't post a thread asking for critiques if i didn't want them, so no offence taken! :)

[Nickillus]

Hi Hala,

Yes I thought I'd read something about foliage on the gun in your thread earlier, but didn't spot it skimming through as I did this time. Must take more care. You could actually have the light shining through the leaves giving nice effects if you felt like it - kind of hinting at the magic power of growth and all that sort of gubbins?

That thing on the right? I wondered about stopping the eye slipping off the right hand edge of the page by introducing a vertical - maybe a bed post or some such thing? So well drawn in my botch - cough. Simply a compositional device. Sorry if it confused. Did tell you what a mess I'd made of your piece - wasn't a fib. I'm relieved if any of it helps at all. Thank you for accepting the suggestions in the spirit they were intended.

I look forward to seeing your progression through the various development stages coming. Enjoy yourself.
Cheers,
Nick

[hala]

oh! Ok, makes much more sense now :)
Thanks again! I really appreciate you taking the time to do a paint over in that depth.

[vardoburrito]

ooo, thank you fer the nuggets Mr. Nickillus :)

[bahaha, Holster it and keep it as a plan B. Some people just don't see. oo it semi-rhymes. :P)

bloody hell you're fast! :teeth:

[hala]

dwardo: lol XD She is a flirt, then whips her tiny pistol out and bam -- you will grow some pretty healthy salad greens. xD I'm not fast ;p I just currently have no friends and no job :S , so all i do is stay home with my family and work on this and my studies. (Uni is out for the summer, tho I know u guys in aussie are just going into winter now, my bf is from aussie ;p).


here's a very quick edited paint over. I messed around with the gun and arm for a while, and I couldn't find a place where I'm satisfied, to compensate for it being hte middle, i tried to expand the canvas...

I need to fix the window angle and possibly extend the canvas downwards as well.
I do hope she looks a bit more endearing now ^^;


Thanks again for all the help! I am still gonna keep altering some things.



PHASE 5?

[vardoburrito]

second look.
-his bed the and walls make a triangle
-right forearms are huge.
-the angel of that elipse is too small [I still have to study that also. gaaah! sorry]
-..... ammmm hmmmm

/btw

[hala]

oo who's right forearms are big? both of them?

gah i will probably end up changing the whole background xD any ideas? (this includes gun movement as well, since i know it's still slicing the composition awkwardly )

EDIT: How about this? some sort of diff. bg with a changed light source from above (the shading will be fixed accordingly)

[Nickillus]

More hurried butchery, I'm afraid, Hala.
How about extending upwrds and downwards if you're going for a light source from above? And if you turn the bed round for a bit of foreshortening, it will lead the eye into the picture more. He needs working out a alot better than I have though. The pillow etc doesn;t work at all.
You can also angle the gun back into the light for those lighting effects if you fancy it. This is a terrible job if it, but starts pointing towards what I'm thinking.

[hala]

Hmm yeah I think I'm gonna start over. XDthanks for the paint over again, I'm gonna take your advice and get back to some thumbnail sketches. I like the angle you have yours at, but I'm afraid then that the tattoo's and other elements i was going to add won't be visible, and hence his character won't come thru as that badass mofo xD Your images are really helpful though; I have always had a hard time with composition and I think I'm starting to understand it a bit more now. THanks :)

[pearlyking]

I think I prefer the pulled back view you first posted. You can add more elements to the story that way like a couple of people that have already had the 'treatment'. It helps the picture speak for itself more in my opinion.

[Liffey]

Great idea. My main suggestion is that you make sure the image does most of the speaking for itself. Right now you can't really tell that the girl shot the guy, or that he was evil, or that he's becoming good. My suggestions: Make the bullet wound and the gun bear a resemblence so that the viewer will associate them, Depict the guy as more obviously evil, And sinice it's a botanical gun, perhaps have growth coming out of the wound.

Also I prefer Nickillus's sketch, it's more dynamic and has a stronger composition.

[hala]

Thanks pearlyking--I redid the composition and made it much more dynamic after nick's help, unfortunely my PC blue screened and I lost the new image ;( Thanks for the suggestion too-- I might try adding some extra characters/elements in. THanks :)

Liffey--yeah i stated in earlier posts that i intentionally didn't put those things in yet. ;p
I like to get my values and composition sorted out before I put those details in -- it's jsut my work flow. I like Nick's version better too,a nd like i said to pearly king, I redid the compostion with some foreshortening and made it ten times better. and my pc decided that would be a great time to die. X__X i hope I can fix it soon because my tablet doesn't work right with my laptop.

Thanks guys :) Your suggestions are taken to heart. Since i lost the new file before i posted it here, i will be starting over yet again xD oh digital art, how i love thee.

[hala]

Ok wow, so after a couple days of my computer being an absolute betch, I'm back up and running, though i was not able to salvage the new image :(

Here's the sketch. LACKING A LOT OF DETAILS.
I hope the foreshortening and new set up is more dynamic than the original.

The IV's will be of blood and water with symbols to show "growth"
and the the thing with the X is going to be viles of "bad" blood if you get my gist.
This will all be clearer once i start painting in the actual compositon.

I know anatomy is f'ed up too --- This is a SKETCH. : D

Please let me know what could be better in terms of the actual composition at this point. Thanks :)

[GriNGo]

I kinda like the first sketch and composition alot... lots of space, good contrast between what's important and what isn't.

[hala]

really? Hmm you're the second person to say that so maybe I will make a return to that one. thanks for the comment :)

[GriNGo]

Maybe you can try making both man, you still have time!

[Nickillus]

That first sketch has a different sense of place Hala - kind of like she's just shot him out doors. The latest one has a definite indoor hospital feel because of the drips hung up. Both can work.
You could almost set them up as a pair of mirrored pieces - before and after? Her shooting and her healing him to be a reborn, better person? Just an idea, and one worthy of being thrown straight in the bin I'm sure. I have a million like that.

Go with your instincts. You have to like what you decide to do, or you won't commit and put your all into it.

[Liffey]

In the latest sketch, I wish there was something connecting the guy and girl, like maybe if she had her hand on him or something. If they're seperate like that it doesn't really look like she cares what happens to him.

[hala]

Gringo: that is true xD thanks :)
Nick: I see, I didn't notice that before. do you mean mirrored pieces as in one whole composition with two halves?
Liffey: thanks, i see your point. I originally didn't want a relation between them, i wanted her to be like a cold bounty hunter--she just does her job with no feelings attached. but you're right, for the sake of the competition it is probably best to create a link. thanks :)

[Nickillus]

Yes Hala, kind of.
What was actually knocking around in the back of my mind was those old triptychs, where three paintings were done on hinged panels, almost like a dressing table mirror. They often related saints' stories a bit like a renaissance comic book.

Not quite applicable to this obviously - two paintings, not three and digital rather than oil on wood. But something in a similar vein with the two images perhaps - unless you fancied a third 'reborn' image, with him as the central heart to it?

Again - do just ignore my senile ramblings - most do and benefit for it.

[hala]

Oh, I love those triptychs. Studied those a lot in art history. hmmm it's definitely an inspiring idea either way. :) I wouldn't call that senile ramblings--more like tid bits of good info and ideas.
thanks again!

[Black Spot]

It's interesting to watch this develop.

[maria riaz]

nice idea though yet i agree that the picture is not saying much widout explaination.....u can draw a scene in which the girl is planting seed in man's chest and he is transforming visually.....just a suggesion...gud luck

[hala]

Blackspot: thanks :)
Maria riaz: thanks :) I kind of don't want the picture to spell it out for the viewer--I want them to think about it and if they bring their own narration into it, i'd be happy. Thanks for the suggestion though :) That probably would have been a better path--I think I just got married to the idea of a gun that shoots for change, rather than death. >< bad bad habit.




Ok--Not very happy with this piece anymore. I joined the contest to show that I could commit to something--not neccesarily with the anticipation to win. So, I've learned a lot from everyone's critiques so I'll be satisfied. After I finish this though, I'm going to put this idea away and start on a new, better entry.

There are a ton of mistakes I will be fixing eventually.
Compared to my first attempt though, I think the composition is much better, though my rendering I'm not too happy with. Especially the candle/iv bags.


sooooo this is still a WIP

edit: is it just me, or did her face get worse as i go along? XD

[vardoburrito]

The vines around the M4 ties in nicely to the green surrounding him.

How about take out her saddened. Get her crossed legged on a comfy couch.
She's staring it him. Pistol with vines. But she's with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.
She could have the vine tattoo.

She shot him and she's proud. He's accepting face could tie it all together.

[My brain is so quiet. I love it. :)]

[Black Spot]

His face is in pain, which mean he’s awake, but his arms are relaxed. You could tie him down. The colours are very muddy. I would tighten the composition by having the girl a lot closer and lower. But first, you should look at his anatomy.

[Nickillus]

I wouldn't give up on it yet, Hala - not after putting so much effort into this one.

If you're still not sure about the composition, sit down and do some more thumbnails. And don't allow yourself back onto a full sized version of it until you feel excited about the discoveries you make during the thumbnailing. It'll make it go faster in the end and you can feed in all the things you've made decisions about in the making of these past few versions too.

That's not to say you can't submit more than one entry . . . . . . .

[hala]

Dwardo: Lol yes, I think I like the characters a lot and outside of the contest I might play with a couple concepts like that. :)

Blackspot: Thanks for pointing out the muscle tension problem (didn't notice) >< I tried so many times to get his position right--I think this is one is just a matter of needing more practice. And you're right, especially with the skin tone. It's missing all the blues and greens, and etc. Thanks again :)

Nickillus: Haha I'm not giving up yet ;) I think with this piece, I will call it a learning experience and leave it at that, and take on a new piece (maybe the same concept, not sure yet..) with that advice about the thumbnails. Good point about the excitement aspect too--I think with this new one I wasn't crazy about it..I really should have spent more time on thumbnailing. thanks :)

[hala]

i needed to stop looking at my original piece--

so here is my second idea, which i personally like a lot better and think will be more successful.


My brother can't walk, and I know what it dream it would be for him to be able to explore the world himself (he can't wheel his own wheelchair either, he has no motor skills), instead of at the mercy of his family to take him out. He wants to be independent and because of all his health probs and disabilities, he can't experience the freedom we all have.

So in this piece i'm "bringing to life" the vision of robots that can support such people, disabled ppl, wounded/amputated soldiers, and help them to find their peace and independence.




so here are the two thumbnails (again, thanks to everyone who has helped me by critting my last piece, i learned a lot about composition).

i think i will go with the first one, of robots taking their "masters" (for lack of a better word) through a walk in a hilly valley, where they rejoice in their independence.

the second one is the robots taking their masters out shopping. (not really clear, those are stores behind them. I hsould draw shopping bags on their arms. anyway.

let me know what you think

[vardoburrito]

I like it. I'll drop some dandoms when i can.

I still love the first. Shooting to heal is such an awesome idea, I've never read anything like it. Genius. You could work along side this new one. Something GMS taught me, if you get tired with one, you switch to another one in progress. You'll never get bored.

[Vaejoun]

I totally like the new idea.
Curious what way you decide to go for that picture.

[graphicgolem]

hey I like your sketches very much they have a very nice feel to them!

[donm]

nice, ill be watching this thread. I would suggest making more thumbnails to spread around your ideas before committing.

[hala]

Thanks everyone for the comments and tips :)

I'm definitely going to apply them.

And thanks Jagmed, I'm gonna go do some more thumbnails now :)



I HATE THIS PIECE :ilaekae: :ilaekae: :ilaekae: :D hahaha I have studied very hard this past month, and made a lot of progress with my skill, and so now I feel like this piece could be so much better if I started yet again, but I don't have time.

I will post thumbs later today for the robot piece, and get back to working on this newborn stuffs, and hopefully start that one on the right foot! :)

[Dorkthrone]

I think the botanical gun idea is coming along very well. I'd love to see how it progresses.

[hala]

Thank you ninjacat :)



_____________________


So I did a couple more sketches for the walking idea.
The robot wasn't cutting it for me because it didn't really demonstrate that the person was gaining independence.

So instead I sketched a couple more ideas for that concept, and picked one that I think compositionally works, and gets the idea across (abaondoned wheel chair with some one running off into the sunrise happily :D )

I will work on turning this into a thumbnail, and make a few copies to mess with light and color.
and if anything else comes to mind, i will make more sketches. ;p

sorry for the crappy quality, i can't get to a scanner.