Thanks and nevermind...

[Leonor]

Sorry, I really shouldn't have posted. I'm always compelled to make my misery public. Thanks everyone, anyway.

[Eric Young]

If your tired of drawing and not having fun anymore then maybe you need to stop. But there isn't any need to be so black and white about it, you don't need to quit forever. If you've really been doing it since you're a kid you'll probably never really stop drawing but it does sound like you might need a break and hopefully the time away will rebuild your creative energy and you'll come back to it. Or maybe you'll find something you like better and go with that, if so good luck.

[Arshes Nei]

It's not that you cannot draw it's that you won't.

If you don't like it then don't draw. In order to do this for a living you have to want to do the things you proclaim you hate. If you enjoy this as a hobby then do it as a hobby. Just because you're not an athlete doesn't mean you quit playing basketball on a Sunday with your friends.

The exercises of doing studies help you become a better artist those tools help you create the stuff you like doing. I stopped hating the stuff you're talking about because I look at it like puzzle solving. It stopped becoming a matter of "why am I copying this dude's stuff...I wanna draw my characters" and just feeling like I'm solving parts of the puzzle to learn.

I also don't stop drawing from the imagination. A copy from real life only helps me remember what to use in the imagination, in fact, I feel it enhances it. If you only focus on one thing, it's like eating the same thing every day - you get tired of it. So it's not just about all those studies from life and books it's also still creating your own works while you're doing the studies.

Build your visual library of different things, not just anatomy books, you don't just draw anatomy books and life, you draw from your mind too. Why not do a study on weapons for example? One from the mind and one from reference?

Also take breaks, this isn't a life or death race. As artists you do get tired but even when we tell you to draw till your fingers fall off that doesn't mean you have to draw when you're tired. When we tell you to draw that much it's more to say you need to understand there's an enormous amount of drawing that you need to do to reach significant improvement. Pacing yourself is good.

[Gavage]

From looking at your sketchbook, you seem to do a lot of studies - how often do you just go ahead and make a piece without worrying too much about the details or realism of it? It can be easy to get bored of art if you do the same things a lot, maybe try out new techniques or styles. Like the fellow above said, a break might be in order. Don't keep pushing it if it drains you without giving back any nice feelings of achievement at the end of it, or you'll wind up completely sick of it and might never want to draw again.. and that would be a shame.

[Farvus]

I looked into your sketchbook. You got lots of dedication which is great but it doesn't make sense to do studies for the sake of drawing studies. They should just be support for art from imagination. Allow yourself to draw badly. Do crappy experiments so that you can get some happy accidents. Three rules by dirty_C (http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showpost.php?p=635510&postcount=182) would be good for you to read.

As for the imagination and ideas. You might not search hard enough. From my experience it requires lots of exploration of single concept to get something interesting. Fist ideas are usually "safe" which is completely fine. Then you push yourself further to see what else it's possible. Just see how far you can go.

Also take breaks and find interest in other things not necessarily related to art. This way you can recharge your batteries and find new ideas at the same time.

[Abrodos]

Well, you said you like your old characters, even they are not original. One thing I like to do when I don't feel like drawing something original, is look at things that I drew before.
I've got a huge folder, where I keep my concepts classified in categories. Some of them are a year old, but some others are from when I was 11 or 12 (i'm now 19) and are mostly modifications of video-game characters and so. I like to look at them, and re-design them with a more adult approach.
Apart from that kind of nostalgia, it's like a remembery of how I am progressing, which is also encouraging. Maybe you could work on them, not necessarily by drawing, but working only on the features (personality and all this). Sure that you didn't create them devoid of personality. Try to exercise the creativity this way.

[Elwell]

Leonor, what you are describing are classical symptoms of depression. Deal with that and the issues you are having with art will resolve themselves.

[the_jos]

Why the hell are you being so judgemental to yourself?
So you rather do something else? What's stopping you from doing that? It's not like the world is going to end if you do something you like to do instead of something you hate.

You found out there are certain things about making art that ain't fun.
That's life. You'll find this anywhere. That nice new job/school will get annoying someday. Your relationship with your partner will become dull and the excitement is gone. That is, if you don't work on yourself and your 'relationship' to the people or things you love.
And to be honest, I think you were either expecting an easy ride (the start is always easy) or you didn't pay enough attention to yourself.

It's ok to have those feelings. Everyone will have them once in a while.
And everyone has to deal with them in their own way.
Just take a step back. And another one. And another one. Ease up and look at things from a distance. Is hating art really that bad? I would say no, hate means you still care.
It's just that you don't like things about it.
Indifference is what's bad, but the moment you are indifferent you won't care about that anymore.

Try to determine what's going on. Have you been realistic about what you wanted from art? Or is something else going on that's showing through art? I know from personal experience that my creativity is heavily influenced by some other things going on in my life.

Well, from here on it's up to you. You need to decide which steps you take next. I can give you only one advice. Keep taking steps, make choices. You may think on them, but don't hesitate. Most choices you make are choices that you can adjust later. There is no real right and wrong in those. You just walk a different path for a while but the result can be the same.

[Pawkfox]

I understand every word you said. I was like that months ago, and I still am actually.
It's an extremely difficult subject. When you reach that.. "Is this for me?" "Why am I even doing this?" stage..

You lack imagination, you're lust is stagnant and like me you only do studies for the sake of doing studies. And the lack of ideas/imagination.
Which after a while just turns into "Why the hell am I drawing this guy?"

I was fooling myself that I wanted to become a professional Concept artist.
When I got into what it was actually like. I hated it more and more. The joy got sucked right out of me like stealing candy from a child (without any moral dilemma).

It was awfull, it still is. Ever since I tried doing this professionally, the joy just left.
The competition, the constant dealing with retarded people and their retarded impossible ideas and demands and then all the people who just fucking abandon you one day without paying a cent.. never replying to your emails.
(Take half payment before you even start sketching.. seriously)
And for once, I actually agree with Elwell, although he could've written more o_ó

I think you need a break, I think you need to stop drawing for a while. A LONG WHILE.
Like..months maybe even years. I'm on my 7th month and I've just barely started enjoying it again. Now I do it for myself and for the people I care about.
And a painting may take me several weeks because I draw.... then I lose focus and motivation. And it takes really long before it comes back. But I've just stopped worrying.
You know, the painting/drawing will be done when it's fucking done. Time is just an illusion, a retarded invention. You've got time. Do it for yourself and there is no pressure from the outside, nobody going "ARE YOU DONE YET?!?"

You need a change of scenery, a radical change in your lifestyle. (Living the same day by day really sucks the motivation and inspiration out of you and NOTHING will make it come back except a personal change of life)
I'm gonna guess here; You dont enjoy large portions of your current life.
Some areas are stagnant.

Work on those.

Also, something I've started with is exercising. (I know it's tough and its really hard to stay motivated but I think it works). Exercising helps against so much, confusion, angst, depression, all that stuff. It keeps your brain alert. So we'll see how that turns out for me.

Be more selfish. Do what you want, when you want. Stop worrying and just relax. If you feel bad, slap yourself really hard and go do something physically tiring. (Climb a small mountain or take a really fast walk, It wont make you feel better about some subject but it will make you stop thinking about it, stop worrying at least for a little while. And the longer you can go without worrying about something the better, tomorrow may be totally different.)

Good luck.. I hope this helped, and sorry for the length.. I'm terrible at explaining things.


P.s Hanging around other people who draw and who are in your general skill area is really motivating. I visited my old college (3d Graphics) for a few weeks and spending that much time with so many people my age, my skill level, and seeing them draw daily got me really jealous. I wanted to draw too. (Which proves my theory once again that EVERYTHING is fun when done together. To quote Christopher Mccandles dying words "Happiness only real when shared")

The feeling ofcourse quickly disappeared once I got back home to my damn ugly room again.

[Jazz]

Hey, Leonor, it's okay to post how you're doing and feeling. :) Don't you worry about it! And the advice above is caring with concern for your well-being with art, and life around and outside of art. Sometimes you gotta let these things out. Better than just keeping them in.

I certainly know how you feel, too. I didn't get to read what you said, yet from what others have replied with, I'm getting a good idea of how you're feeling. If you first need to really get everything on the table with how you yourself feels about everything, not just art, go find someone to talk to, someone unbiased who will gladly lend an ear. I can't very well repeat the rest of the good advice (I already did a little), but just know that I'm rooting for you, and I hope you don't quit just like that. Take some time for you, okay? :) It really helps...a LOT!! :D