14 ways to make your grocery store checker not hate you

[FourTonMantis]

I was inspired to create this thread by the 13 things your waiter won't tell you (http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=152688) (+1!) thread, being a checker myself. It seems to be a position that attracts the most inept customers possible. It'd be cool to see these from other people that work in retail-esque/general public positions.

1. Paying for a tiny total with a massive bill is not cool, especially early in the morning. Later in the day tills are generally stocked enough to give change but buy a 69 cent bagel with a 100 dollar bill, expect to do some waiting if the checker can't change it. On the flipside, exact change is always cool.

2. Your kid may be cute, but him thrusting your groceries at the checker is not "helpful". Also, we're not here to parent your kids. Yanking receipts out of the machine, banging on the card reader, and chucking produce is not cute behavior. Trust me on this one.

3. We're checkers, not technicians. If the card reader won't accept your card, assaulting our eardrums with your rants is not going to help. Usually, the error isn't in the machines, and when it is, there's really nothing we can do anyway except tell our managers about it.

4. Checkers ought to know the general store layout, but don't be surprised if we don't know the geographical location of sun-dried tomato-flavored tortillas. We spend 99.9% of our time on the front end, and some of us don't even shop at the store we work at.

5. Don't be surprised if your checker frequently has to look up produce codes, especially if the store has an extensive produce section, as the one I am employed at does. Our produce section has over 240 items, each assigned a 4 digit code. Generally, memorization starts to become natural with more common items, but don't be surprised if it takes a minute for your checker to ring up your cherimoyas, kiwanos, and feijoas.

6. Don't buy beer with minors. Different stores have different rules on this; we're required to ID every person in the party appearing underage. Selling alcohol to minors is instant termination and a 400 dollar fine, and to be quite frank, we care much more about our jobs than the need for you and your douchebag bros to get plastered.

7. Throwing products and currency at checkers is never cool, no matter how many years you've been patronizing the store or have been going hunting with the owner. I know this seems common sense, but some people have to be reminded it seems...

8. If you don't know how to use the card reader, ask. We're here to help you. But please, for your own sake, learn to use it. It's not hard. Pay attention to the words on the screen.

9. If your items are separate from the guy behind you, please make it apparent.

10. Please, PLEASE hang up your cell phone when you get to the checkstand. This applies more at general grocery stores than big chains like Wal-Mart, but some stores require their checkers to greet and engage the customer. Whether you're paying with debit or credit or EBT or a gift card is important information and I, for one, will invariably interrupt your phone call. On purpose.

11. Reusable canvas and paper (if your store offers them) bags are cool, but if your ground beef is a bloody dripping mess, it's going in plastic. Period.

12. 10 items or less means 10 items or less. The reason it's called the express lane is because it's equipped to deal with less items. By cramming your cart filled to the brim with hot pockets and Diet Coke through the express lane, you've negated this effect entirely. It's more for your sake than ours because we get paid no matter what. But it is annoying, and all you're doing is making your and the other customers' wait time longer.

13. Just because you're in a hurry doesn't mean we are.

14. Don't be afraid to let us do our jobs. If you need help finding something, even if we don't know where it is off-hand, we can always find out quickly.

[Mock]

1. Paying for a tiny total with a massive bill is not cool, especially early in the morning. Later in the day tills are generally stocked enough to give change but buy a 69 cent bagel with a 100 dollar bill, expect to do some waiting if the checker can't change it. On the flipside, exact change is always cool.

WHAT?! How could you be so INCONSIDERATE! It's your JOB to make change for whatever bill the customer GIVES YOU. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU to tell them they can't pay for their Juicy Fruit with a 100 dollar bill? YOU INCONSIDERATE PRICK. It's clear you don't care about anyone BUT YOURSELF!!

[Equality72521]

I think this may be slightly different because you are paid a fix rate whereas servers work for tips. we are treated as trained monkeys, even though we work hard. checkers are hired knowing they will get treated like that at $7 an hour. our income is not guarenteed.

[stoph]

i work on registers a lot, and you mentioned one of my biggest pet peeves - talking on cellphones. i can understand answering a ringing phone, and often in that case they will be nice enough to ask the caller to hold the line, but when people have the nerve to walk up to you, thrust their items at you, then proceed to dial numbers and have a merry old conversation with someone somewhere else, letting you guess what they want you to do, THAT i take as an insult. a personal one. you dont have to confide your deepest, darkest secrets with me, just a few niceties and the respect that human beings normally garner, a simple acknowledgement and a "hows your day been" whilst we ring up your sale is not a lot to ask, is it? its bad enough the process is so repetitive, that people go out of their way to completely disregard the fact that you are a human being, starved of human interaction whilst tethered to the register...

/rant

[Ian Miles]

But this one:
13. Just because you're in a hurry doesn't mean we are.

Makes me not wanting to come back EVER to your "store". If you don´t like your work, don´t hesitate to work there. You are just fucking everyone.

[l33t fl33t]

#9 never happened to me, but every time I'm at the counter (the other side), I'm afraid my stuff might get mixed up with somebody else's.

Oh yeah...

15. When it comes time to pay up, make sure the guy who's supposed to pay the bill isn't doing some last minute shopping.

Ya' know, you stand in the checkout line and your wife just remembers she forgot something. You get to the checkout and she's still not back. Annoying.

[Straight Edge Ryan]

Ok but I got a pet peeve for you cashiers: STOP GIVING ME WEIRD LOOKS WHEN I BUY CONDOMS

[nicolas]

I could actually care less if the checker hates me or not. And, I do points 1, 4, 5, 10, 11 (and I dont see how its your business in what I want to carry my shit home in?!), 13... boy you'd be in a world of pain if you actually said this to me while Im standing at your counter... :)

Its a shit job, you deal with people who are annoyed, because hell, just standing in line is annoying if nothing else adds to that. And yes, youll get the end of it, why? because youre the checker.... sorry. Its just one of those unspoken rules of the modern world.


ps - maybe Im just in a bad mood coz I just got back from grocery shopping, and all checkers were douches....

[l33t fl33t]

I think #11 is more because it can make a mess at the checkout - ie, it's your right to carry your stuff in whatever bag you want, but it's not okay to make a mess of the checkout because of it. Or something along those lines.

I know my parents always used two bags for thawed food, I guess it's just common courtesy.

And to put a dot on both the topics - as a customer, there's nothing preventing you from acting as a total douche. But you know, it goes both ways. Kind of like the you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours, you be nice to me and I'll be nice to you.

[Sepulverture]

F.T.M. - At least you have a job. Job may suck but suck it up.

Last month 651,000 people in the US alone decided they'd rather have your job then what they had at the moment their companies decided to axe their current jobs.

Employment in the U.S. is getting harder and harder to find at the moment, one of the deciding factors that led me to China. You get paid, no matter how little, to perform a service to the public and to the people who sign your meager pay checks. Do it happily and understand that the idiots, who are throwing their money at you and yaking their ever fucking heads off when they SHOULD be communicating with you to make yours and their lives easier, are the ones who are essentially putting the money into the bank whose name is stamped on your pay stubs. Do your job with a giant corny smile on your face and who knows, maybe the next time they come in they may be more polite. I also used to work in customer service, and I know how tough it can get at times.. Deal with it.

Customers - Just because you're buying a pack of Juicy Fruit chewing gum, or even the latest Gucci loafers for that matter, that doesn't give you the right to act like a pud straight from the retard factory.

Fact is the person behind the counter probably doesn't get paid enough or given enough respect by their employers, and the other customers to give half a shit about what you and your idiot girlfriend/boyfriend/grandma/frat bras/whoever are talking about. End the call, or at least have the caller/callee wait and perform your duty as a customer.

Whoever said they don't care if the cashier hates them is right, but you're still a douche for being so uncaring of the feelings of those who are only trying to serve you and take care of their own responsibilities by taking this shit job.

Customer service these days sucks the big one. But customers these days are doing half the sucking. Work together together to make life easier for everyone. I always give as close to the exact change as possible when I go out shopping, and apologize if I don't have the exact change even knowing it's mr. clerks jobs to change my cash. In return for my politeness I expect the clerk to be equally polite, or slightly moreso because regardless of the fact that I just bought a 3 dollar slice of pizza I'm still paying your salary.

Companies - Train your employees better, offer better compensation for your employee putting in a 10 hour shift dealing with droves of retarded assholes, and show a little bit of respect and humanity towards the warm bodies who are more often than not trying their damndest just to cope and do well. They are the ones who are taking care of your bottom line, and the moment you forget that then your company fails because the employee fails and the customer gets the shittiest end of the shitty stick.

This could go on, but when all is said and done every one of us need to learn a thing or two about taking responsibility for our actions, and when we neglect to do so, then we fail as individuals. The downfall of modern civilization is assured as long as idiots continue to breed and spread ignorance.

Straight Edge Ryan - no one cares about the girls you're attempting to poke (the boys poking you?) and the clerk probably feels as awkward handling those jimmy hats as you feel when they give you that weird glance. I know I feel awkward when I buy rubbers and the girl at the checkout stand gives me that awkward glance (the men usually don't do that... they just give you that 'go bro!' look.... i hate those people).

[Straight Edge Ryan]

Sepulvurture you're probably right, though I sometimes get a "wow! someone wants to have sex with you??" look. I think it just comes with the territory haha

Worst look I've gotten so far was when a friend of mine asked me to go out and buy tampons for her. The clerk gave me a weird look and I just finally said "look, they're obviously not for me alright? can we just complete the transaction please?"

[FourTonMantis]

Sepulverture: I think you read me wrong. None of this stuff makes my job suck. I enjoy it, actually. It's a good store with quality (albeit overpriced) products that employ friendly people.

Ian Miles: Let me clarify: Just because you're in a hurry doesn't mean we're going to race through your order. I go approximately the same speed for everyone, which is still considerably fast. But I won't go slow because someone is in a hurry. That I will not do.

l33t fl33t: You know, it's odd, but the last minute shopping thing doesn't bother me so much. I actually find it kind of humorous when the person waiting for their spouse/friend/partner to return is getting all stressed cuz they think they're doing me and the other customers some sort of injustice. Especially if it's dead quiet. It's like...you realize you're the only one here, right?

Straight Edge Ryan: Heh you must have had some young/naive checkers. I never freak out about what people are buying, although I get kind of bothered when people feel they need to disclose their personal plumbing problems...really, I just work here, move along please...

[daestwen]

6 and 11 don't really apply here in Toronto.

Only the L.C.B.O (basically the government-owned liquor store) and the Beer Store are allowed to sell alcohol, so the grocery stores wouldn't be selling it anyway,

and they now charge 5 cents a bag per plastic bag in most of the large grocery chains - you're expected to bring your own. Pretty sure this is because the Ontario government made it law to charge a small amount for plastic bags in order to try to cut down on the amount of waste we get from them.

Most places the canvas bags are 99 cents or free with a certain purchase, but i have plenty now so i never need more. :]

[Sepulverture]

F.T.M. - I'm sorry, I guess the wording of my statement wasn't quite right. I didn't mean to single you out in that comment, I was shooting more towards commenting on the customer service industry as a whole. And customers as a whole. And employers as a whole. No offense intended towards you if offense was taken.

[FourTonMantis]

daestwen: I didn't mention the charge on plastic bags because where I'm at, they're free in every store. It would be pretty interesting to see if that law were instituted here. I think it's like 10 cents per bag in California...considering those bags cost the store about 2 cents each...

Sepulverture: No problem man. I agree with you about the customer service bit. It's something that we try to focus on, which is probably their justification for charging almost twice as much as everyone else. I've heard some pretty awful stories about the way checkers have been treated, especially by big chains. That's why we refer to Wal-Mart as the "evil empire". :)

[Hookswords]

I really like those newer check yourself out registers. One of the things I hate most about grocery shopping (edit: well about everything really) is having to deal with people. The entire store is filled with talking monkeys and then at the end you get to interact with someone who's been forced to endure these idiots. Now, with the handy dandy touch screen interface, talking robot, self checker outer, I am guaranteed to not have to talk to anyone. Sometimes....most times, I just dont want to talk to or deal with anyone.

But they arent everywhere yet. I'm always nice to cashiers. There is no reason not to be. I tend to look at it like this, for any job. I ask myself a few questions. Would I want to/ be capable of doing this job? How many skin dumpsters has this person had to deal with today so far? After X many, are they still in a great mood for the situation? It's a lot like servers. There is no reason not to be nice to them. Sometimes being that one decent person in their shift is enough to get them through the rest of it without homicides. It's a job I'd get fired from on day one. A lot of my rantings on people in public is at the grocery store. I dont go out of my way to harp on people, but the grocery store is a common back drop for when I do snap. People are so incompetent. From the sounds of it, the trouble cases are the same.

I dont share the same respect for the customers. They can all rot. They are nothing but hideous obstacles in a maze of sustenance. You're taking up too much space, you're old enough to be soylent and a product at this store not a patron. Take 10 seconds to pay enough attention to your kid to shut him/her the fuck up. And dont speak to me, under any condition, unless you work there and have information that is some how relevant to my food purchasing.

Oh and I'm sick of these bullshit special parking spots. At some grocery stores around me they have Pregnant/ with kids parking, right next to the handicapped. Now I understand that having kids/ parading around in public with them is a sign of mental retardation, but it shouldnt earn you special parking. Where is the bachelor get in buy a few things and get the fuck out parking? Just because you cant keep your legs shut doesnt mean you get a special parking spot.

Wow...I shouldnt wake up this angry.

[hippl5]

#13.

I had to wait in line for 15 minutes behind one customer because they couldn't figure the price out for one item. The chicken. And they didn't seem rushed at all, instead the cashier called out "how much is the chicken" and then started having a conversation with the bagger. After the conversation, they went to get the manager and it took even longer to mark the mother fucking damn chicken. I hate that place now.

[tsujni]

WHAT?! How could you be so INCONSIDERATE! It's your JOB to make change for whatever bill the customer GIVES YOU. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU to tell them they can't pay for their Juicy Fruit with a 100 dollar bill? YOU INCONSIDERATE PRICK. It's clear you don't care about anyone BUT YOURSELF!!

I worked one of these shit jobs, I'd give out rolled coin. Here you go, $5s, $1s, and rolled quarters! Do you want a roll of pennies with that?

[tsujni]

#13.

I had to wait in line for 15 minutes behind one customer because they couldn't figure the price out for one item. The chicken. And they didn't seem rushed at all, instead the cashier called out "how much is the chicken" and then started having a conversation with the bagger. After the conversation, they went to get the manager and it took even longer to mark the mother fucking damn chicken. I hate that place now.

I hear you on that, this being the reason I just make up prices on shit that won't scan. I ask the customer $X sound good? $X it is.

[tsujni]

I could actually care less if the checker hates me or not. And, I do points 1, 4, 5, 10, 11 (and I dont see how its your business in what I want to carry my shit home in?!), 13... boy you'd be in a world of pain if you actually said this to me while Im standing at your counter... :)

Its a shit job, you deal with people who are annoyed, because hell, just standing in line is annoying if nothing else adds to that. And yes, youll get the end of it, why? because youre the checker.... sorry. Its just one of those unspoken rules of the modern world.


ps - maybe Im just in a bad mood coz I just got back from grocery shopping, and all checkers were douches....

I find this comment funny. Having worked this shit job, I broke all kinds of company policies to expedite customers. That said, when a customer whats to be an ass, well I guess we'll go by the motherfuckin policy book.

[madster]

#16: If you have to buy something really large, bulky, and heavy, PLEASE take the extra moment or two to put the UPC code ON TOP, CLEARLY visible. This allows the checker to either hand-scan it quickly, or at least read the numbers to enter them in. It's SO uncool to expect them to have to haul a 50 lb bag of cat litter out of your cart (Because you were too lazy to put it on the conveyor), and then have to wrestle it over to get to the bar code.

#17 If you have coupons for the stuff you buy, and not a ton of them, put them on top of the item you're buying. If the checker has to verify a particular brand or product, it's SO much faster if they see the coupon as they scan the item. They then don't have to try to remember if you really did buy 6 cans of chicken soup, or just 3, and 3 cream of chicken.

~M

[Elwell]

5. Don't be surprised if your checker frequently has to look up produce codes, especially if the store has an extensive produce section, as the one I am employed at does. Our produce section has over 240 items, each assigned a 4 digit code. Generally, memorization starts to become natural with more common items, but don't be surprised if it takes a minute for your checker to ring up your cherimoyas, kiwanos, and feijoas.
To all checkers, a hearty thank you for not knowing the difference between red cabbage (79¢/lb.) and radicchio ($2.99 each)!

[DavePalumbo]

the girl at the checkout stand gives me that awkward glance (the men usually don't do that... they just give you that 'go bro!' look.... i hate those people).

where the hell do you guys shop? I don't think I ever noticed any kind of look or weirdness or anything at all like that. Just scan, bag, take money. You guys must have big goofy smiles while you're waiting or something :P

[Pezz]

I should write my own entry "15 Ways to Make Your Consumer Electronics Wage Slave Not Hate You", as inspired by my prison time at Circuit City.

I work at a little Sporting Goods store my dad just opened a year or two ago now. No complaints.

[Jazz]

I'm good to the cashiers pretty much all the time, just being courteous. Really, the only times I'd be a little nasty is when one cashier is chatting with another about "what we did at some party and what she/he said to pee this one off..." right in front of me, while one of them is supposed to be tending to me. And then that cashier can hardly look at me or the food they're ringing in. I really hate THAT, and I won't be so nice when a cashier is like that. Otherwise I pretty much follow them rules up there. :)

[Moai]

1. Paying for a tiny total with a massive bill is not cool, especially early in the morning. Later in the day tills are generally stocked enough to give change but buy a 69 cent bagel with a 100 dollar bill, expect to do some waiting if the checker can't change it. On the flipside, exact change is always cool.

3. We're checkers, not technicians. If the card reader won't accept your card, assaulting our eardrums with your rants is not going to help. Usually, the error isn't in the machines, and when it is, there's really nothing we can do anyway except tell our managers about it.

4. Checkers ought to know the general store layout, but don't be surprised if we don't know the geographical location of sun-dried tomato-flavored tortillas. We spend 99.9% of our time on the front end, and some of us don't even shop at the store we work at.

8. If you don't know how to use the card reader, ask. We're here to help you. But please, for your own sake, learn to use it. It's not hard. Pay attention to the words on the screen.

9. If your items are separate from the guy behind you, please make it apparent.

QFT. I don't work at a grocery store, just general retail, but these struck a chord with me.
Some of my own:

-Corollary to #4- Just as we don't know the exact location of every single item in the store, we don't know everything that's coming in the next shipment. Or whether we have more in the back. We can find someone who might know, but it'll take a minute, and if there's a line that's kind of a pain in the ass.
-Corollary to #8- It's been the 21st century for a while now. You've all been using debit cards for many years. You know that if you use your debit card, the card reader will most likely ask you for your PIN. So don't swipe your card and then wander away and stare of into space, and make me remind you that you have to enter your PIN. Please. This gets old after the thousandth customer does it.
-If you get a frozen food item, and decide not to buy it, put it the fuck back in the freezer. Most other items don't get ruined if you leave them where they don't belong, but frozen food items thaw, you jackass. This pisses me off.
-If you decide not to buy any item at all, give it to me, so I can put it back where it belongs. Don't just set it down wherever you happen to be.
-Those "new" dollar bills have been around for many years now. You can stop saying that they look like Monopoly money.
-If there's a sign saying that an item is half off or something, it means that that specific item is half off, not all the items in that general area.
-See all those balloons up on the ceiling? Those came from customers trying to untie balloon bouquets themselves to get the balloon they want, rather than asking for our help. Let us get the balloons for you, please. And if you give a balloon to your kid, tie it around their wrist or something, because they will let it go.
-When you're done, put the shopping cart back where it belongs, please. Don't just push it off to the side as you waltz out the door. And don't leave it at the register, so that the next lucky customer will get to push your shopping cart out of the way for you.
-If it's raining, we really, really appreciate it if you bring the shopping carts back inside. Leaving them outside so that they can get nice and dripping wet is inconvenient for everyone.
-On a related note, we have plenty of shopping carts and baskets. Use them to carry your items. Don't grab another item, like a gift bag, and use it to carry your stuff around, if you're not going to buy that item.
-If the store is closing, finish up you're shopping and leave, please.
-If I call for backup on the intercom, don't tell me thirty seconds later that I need to call for backup. I just did, you unobservant ape.
-If there's only two people in line ahead of you, and they only have one or two items each, don't tell me I need to call for backup. It'll take me about forty five seconds to get through those people and ring you up. You can wait that long.
-Be nice, be observant, and use common sense. That about sums it up.

[nickmarshallvfx]

Yea it used to annoy me when i worked on a checkout if ppl were on their phone. Id always say hello anyway, and when they didnt even give you a nod or a reply, it used to grate me a bit...

But ppl who think that the checkout guy makes the rules are the worst. The number of angry customers who think its my fault personally that there is a que of people at my cehckout and still rows of checkouts that havent been opened up...
The worst i had was a lady who wanted to buy 4 packs of paracetamol. The rule is to only sell 2 to each customer. Something to do with the risk of it being a suicide attempt if they are buying loads at once... Anyway, i told her that unfortunately i can only sell her 2 but would be happy to return the other 2 for her. She went nuts. Absolute 3 year old tantrum. Even the other customers were giving me knowing looks and giggling to their spouses.

So if you have a checkout guy that wont sell you something, its not there fault! They want to sell it, they really do, they dont care if its for a suicide or a bad cold, but you just arent important enough to lose their job over. Now thats a depressing thought... go get another packet of paracetamol...

[Dusty]

Ok but I got a pet peeve for you cashiers: STOP GIVING ME WEIRD LOOKS WHEN I BUY CONDOMS

I never understood the embarrassment of buying condoms. I actually have had at least 2 people give me looks before (one teenage boy and one middle aged woman) and I said both times: "What? At least I'm getting laid?".

The embarrassment was quickly reversed on them.
There's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.

Now, the time I had to buy lotion, wine, peanut butter, and several zucchinis definitely had me a little red in the cheeks.

[Interceptor]

You should embrace buying condoms. Slap them down on the counter and yell, "Fuck yeah!"

[Straight Edge Ryan]

haha true. But if you want to get REALLY bad looks, buy a ski mask, condoms, some rope, duct tape, a shovel and when you get up to the counter ask the cashier "hey you know if there's a gun store around here?"

[Mock]

You shouldn't BUY CONDOMS unless you are MARRIED. Only selfish BATARDS have sex with girls without making and HONEST woman out of t-

You know. I'm going to stop there. I just don't have it in me right now.

Going to go get coffee, make love to an Ewok, and come back later.

We'll try this again then.

[Meli Hitchcock]

2. Your kid may be cute, but him thrusting your groceries at the checker is not "helpful". Also, we're not here to parent your kids.

To add to that, don't hand products to the checker that have otherwise been chewed, licked, or drooled on by your baby. That used to gross me out so much when customers slapped candy bags on the counter so soggy with saliva, that it left splatter marks / trails of ooze all over which I'd need to clean up. Or hand me packages that were slimy with spittle. Fuckin gross!!

[FourTonMantis]

To all checkers, a hearty thank you for not knowing the difference between red cabbage (79¢/lb.) and radicchio ($2.99 each)!

Void button. Where I work, as long as the void doesn't exceed $4.99, you don't have to stand around like a retard waiting for a manager.


-Those "new" dollar bills have been around for many years now. You can stop saying that they look like Monopoly money.


Now that I find interesting. I've never had anyone say that to me. It seems like different stores have different quirks. For us, since we're required to stand out in front of the checkstand when not with a customer, it's typically a puzzled look followed by "Are you open...?" Naw, I just sit in front of this register, in uniform, with the light on just to say hi. I kid you not, I had a girl that thought my official position was that exactly.

[r.mccabe]

One to add: You don't know more about the system then the clerk and manager they called to confirm. To quote "I know POS systems sunshine!"

[tsujni]

To all checkers, a hearty thank you for not knowing the difference between red cabbage (79¢/lb.) and radicchio ($2.99 each)!

Your welcome! That said, don't mistake my carelessness with ignorance. That looks like a banana to me, because B comes before R in the menu system.

[Elwell]

Void button. Where I work, as long as the void doesn't exceed $4.99, you don't have to stand around like a retard waiting for a manager.
You misunderstand. In this case (for once) I wasn't being sarcastic. I would much rather pay 50¢ than three bucks for a head of radicchio.

[tsujni]

The thing I hated most about this ( and all customer service jobs ) cashier bot job was pretending to be well adjusted and everything is OK shit. I told a few customers that, "I was crying on the inside.", when asked, How are you?" I think I told one guy, "may all your dreams come true, as each one of mine is destroyed."

Needless to say, management transfers me to 3rd shift. Then 3rd shift gas station, my present office. The thing you got to understand is that in these "super" stores with gas stations, is that gas station is the collection point for the stores rejects. And there I work my magic! The beautiful thing about 3rd shift gas station is that as long as you fucking show up, you be bullet proof!

[FourTonMantis]

You misunderstand. In this case (for once) I wasn't being sarcastic. I would much rather pay 50¢ than three bucks for a head of radicchio.


I had a reply written, but it was only after I posted it that I understood what you meant. It's been a long day...

Oh and buy green cabbage next time :D

[Oden]

For us, since we're required to stand out in front of the checkstand when not with a customer, it's typically a puzzled look followed by "Are you open...?" Naw, I just sit in front of this register, in uniform, with the light on just to say hi. I kid you not, I had a girl that thought my official position was that exactly.

hahah well, this actually got me for the first time, last week.
I'm not sure if it's a new policy or not, but it's not common at all (where I'm from at least) for stores to have cashiers stand by their tills.

I walked past this girl like 3 or 4 times, wondering why the hell they had a greeter in front of the checkout, and not someone actually manning the cash, before she said something snarky.

The problem is that some of stores do have greeters and random helpers that just stand around looking bored, so people could get confused.


My older sisters have done a lot of slave labour in retail and grocery stores, so they've taught me to be as polite as possible to the people serving you.

[Sepulverture]

I wouldn't say I have a goofy smile on my face when I check out with my rubbers.

I do however get a goofy bashful look on my face when the girl at the checkout get's slightly red picking up the package of durex's (no trojans in china).

[Jacob Kobryn]

You think it's awkward to BUY condoms? Just talk to my friend who got them from the school nurse (who despite the permission forms obviously DOES NOT support "underage" sexual activity.) It was so awkward that it hurt to watch... it was past the humor point.

[Black Spot]

Ha! My husband will buy my sanitary towels without batting an eyelid.

I’m with Jazz on the nattering cashiers; I have to grit my teeth some weeks as I approach the magazine kiosk. There are some great cashiers where I shop and I even learn their names, have a gossip while still packing at break neck speed because I hate shopping – period.

[Nightblue]

One knowledge I took out of my cashier job and will always have with me:

When there is a problem and you have to yell at someone, yell at the person who could make a difference. Hint: it's often not the person right in front of you.

I actually believe that much like the citizens of certain countries must serve in the army, every person should be required to work a low-end customer service job for a year. One can learn much from such an experience.

[Aphotic Phoenix]

I think most of this applies to nearly all retail jobs. Really, be nice and people will be extra nice to you.

On a more positive note...if you want to know how to get cheaper and/or better rooms in hotels let me know. ~_^ (Most people don't know that we're actually trained to haggle room prices)

[shaggy]

I don't think we'd have these misunderstandings if every single person worked retail for even a small amount of time during their lives

you can never really begin to comprehend another persons situation unless you've been there...

after I worked retail for 2 years I had much more patience for store employees.

I'd bet the little money I do have that many of the major assholes have never worked retail...

[Sekino]

I don't think we'd have these misunderstandings if every single person worked retail for even a small amount of time during their lives

YES. I often say that working with the public should be mandatory for a year or two, like conscription.

I am always polite with cashiers, even if I have a bad day, because I've worked in retail for 7 years and saw how unthankful and patronizing many people could be. And although it's easy to tell someone to 'suck it up, it's your job' a few rotten people in a day's shift add up to a serious amount of mental anguish by the end of the week. And they usually don't make enough money to pay themselves a relaxing spa day or a nice Scotch on ice at the end of the day.

It doesn't take much to keep in mind that the cashier/rep is often very young (first job), or very new (first day at the job), underpaid (in most cases) AND a human. Yeah, if he/she's blatantly rude and careless, you have the right to let them or the manager know. But fumbling or being a bit slow because they can't remember one of 83,600 codes, or because they've been on their feet for 8 hours straight isn't an excuse to be a dick.

I've seen lots of customers systematically picking the youngest or most docile-looking staff just to take out their frustration, order them around like servants or bully them to refund a perfectly good item that they threw off a cliff.

My top 5 DON'Ts for jewellery customers (I will never work with the public again if I can help it, but I have several close friends still stuck in this business so I care):

1: If you give them your ring for cleaning or repair and it is too tight to take off, DO NOT LICK IT or suck it off. I couldn't believe the amount of seemingly educated and civilized ladies who would hand us their rings covered in saliva (Eeeeeeuuuwwww). The staff have lotion handy.

2: Don't come back all pissed because your expensive watch gets scratches on the metal after 2 weeks. It doesn't matter if it's $100 or $5000, the corundum face shouldn't scratch but all metal will. It's not the staff or the brand, it's PHYSICS.

3: Not every jewellery salesperson makes high commission (in Canada, anyways) and not every one of them are crooks (90% of the owners are :P).

4: Don't go to a fine jewellery store with all your friends just to try on 55 items when you have no intention to buy. Not only it wastes the employees' time (and takes away service from serious customers), it is a safety issue to have gangs of loud, chatty people running around the store. It increases the opportunities for shoplifting and that often comes out of the employees paycheck.

5: Don't walk in a jewellery store just to admonish the staff on the evils of diamonds. Yes, it's an ugly world. But it's not their job to remind you of the stuff you own made in a sweatshop in China or Indonesia or the gas in your car. If you're freaking Amish well... okay, you have a point.

No basic courtesy, no service.

[Kaffinated]

haha true. But if you want to get REALLY bad looks, buy a ski mask, condoms, some rope, duct tape, a shovel and when you get up to the counter ask the cashier "hey you know if there's a gun store around here?"

Its even better if you buy a lantern, shovel, a curling iron, and Vaseline.

[Meli Hitchcock]

I don't think we'd have these misunderstandings if every single person worked retail for even a small amount of time during their lives

YES. I often say that working with the public should be mandatory for a year or two, like conscription.

I think it should be more like six months of retail work and six months of fast food work.

The amount of customer bullshit from either one of those jobs is just unreal. I recall when I was working at a Dairy Queen and I got bitched at by a guy who was getting undercharged for his shake. It was in the middle of summer, so lines were backing up in the lobby, and this guy was just screaming at me that the price was wrong. Never asked for the manager or anything, even though I asked him if he wanted to talk with the manager. Guy just yells that it's my problem and I have to fix it. Eventually he got so pissed off, he left, and the rest of the lobby literally laughed at him after he was gone. The guy standing behind him steps up to the counter and was like, "What idiot doesn't like to save money?"

Then when I worked at Burger King we'd have wonderful people who'd yell and make a fuss when their burger wasn't made to order. They didn't want pickles but oh god, their burger had pickles now they want coupons for tons of free food, or want to talk to the manager to get you fired because your a pimply teenager who is too stupid to work at fast food. Or their burger patty wasn't cooked twice (seriously, if you tossed a burger patty twice through the cooker, it would be a solid chunk of charred meat). Now, I can excuse people who have a food allergy for making a fuss, because usually they mention that they have, in fact, a food allergy while placing the order. But if you just hate pickles, pluck the damn things off and don't eat them. I can't even begin to count how many times I've ordered something without tomatoes and yet what arrives squished in between the burger and bun? Yeap, a tomato.

Some people choose to pick the dumbest battles. Pitching fits over getting undercharged or that smidgen of pickle on your food isn't worth pushing your blood pressure into heart attack inducing zones. It just makes you look like a colossal ass in public.

My retail experiences were something else too. Got a looot of stories from there. :D

[Dusty]

Yeah, if there is one job (or type of job) that will make you hate the human race FAST it's anything in retail/customer service. That is, unless you understand my theory of the "Cloud of Stupidity".

I used to say that every business had a "Cloud of Stupidity" surrounding it that was invisible and odorless, but every person who entered an establishment was affected by it. They'd forget how to find bathrooms that were clearly marked, they'd forget how to count money, they'd forget how to manage their children properly, and most importantly...they'd forget their manners and how you are supposed to treat other human beings. Everyone, including myself, is affected by the cloud of stupidity...I've caught myself being the "typical customer" in numerous places (which naturally, I hate).

That was pretty much the only way I could excuse some of the bullshit and forgive people for the way I was treated on any given day.

"Eh...just the cloud of stupidity, it's not their fault".


-D

[The Crazy Dude SRD]

I understand completely about what Meli Hitchcock is saying and after about oh... 6 years of the bullshit that constantly surrounds fastfood. If it's not the constant strain of having to deal with people who are oblivious to their own actions, its also the contradiction of the management. In order for there to be quality, you have to sacrifice speed. In order to have speed, you have to sacrifice something... and quality usually is what is first out the window.

Dusty; I also understand the 'cloud of stupidity,' Strangely enough I've been in the environs of this cloud long enough that I have developed enough immunity... now to deal with the 'fog of apathy'...

But for the most part... If people wanna be assholes, just let them be that way... Neither you or <insert divine being or firearm of equal power> can change that. If you have a major problem... "Hold on, let me get my manager to sort this out."

Oh and if people throw food at you or try to assault you physically, and the management does nothing, you do have the right of selfdefense... No person has the right to assault you physically no matter what.

Which brings me to rule...

# 16 - No matter what it is, physical violence against your cashier will only end up with you getting your ass handed to you by either the said cashier, his/her buddies, or the police. (Note that this is only for assholes that aren't armed with any sort of firearm... in that case its robbery and that cash till ain't worth your life)

-Shawn

[Rob!T]

Most of the problems (In Tesco UK's large supermarket) I had we're due to the staff. The managers to be specific.

Once, I witnessed a woman trying to get my friend fired because he had only given her enough green points (the promotional points given to encourage re-cycling) for a shallow shopping cart, and she had used a deep shopping cart. She spent ages yelling at the managers who actually agreed with her and badmouthed the guy in front of him, then threw me a look as if to say 'what the hell is this crazy lady on?'. Never apologized to my friend though.

I once tried to take a holiday at short notice for one day because something really important to me came up, I found a replacement for that day who was more than willing to fill in, and my manager just said no, I'm guessing because he didn't want to push that extra piece of paper across his desk. In fact, he didn't even say no, he literally said "rob, rob", and walked off shaking his head. I know I shouldn't expect him to do something just because it would be nice for me, but it shouldn't have been a problem to make that one little change in the schedule.

I got a warning (several warnings gets you fired) for being ill once because they just presumed that I had just been drinking the night before my shift (I never had any previous problems with that by the way). I thought I'd try to stick it out because I needed money and thought it would just go away, but then I had to go home at mid day because I was throwing up. Apparently I didn't sound very convincing when I explained this to them. I didn't know I was meant to be 'convincing' anybody though, because I wasn't lying!! I didn't get paid for the hours I worked that morning. From that day on I just took a sick day whenever I felt slightly ill, my job depended on me flaking off of work in a way.

There are more, but I can't be bothered. I hate thinking about every hour I spent there being miserable when I didn't have to be.

[daestwen]

I worked at a smoothie place for a year and a half, and I have to agree with the above, the management was usually worse than the customers.

I used to get put on WHOLE DAY (sunday, so 10-6) shifts *by myself*, and have to either call security or close down the store just to go to the bathroom. :/ Obviously I didn't get my lunch hour or my breaks, because there was no one else to work the store.

I was almost always scheduled by myself for weekday mornings, too (where my shift would be 7 - 12/1/2) and no one else would show up until 11:30 in time for lunch rush.

Also, my manager used to tell me that it was no wonder i was slow (i wasn't), it was because i was white, and GOD ONLY KNOWS that white people are slower and dumber than chinese people and that's why he didn't hire us that often.

Seriously, he was a dick. :/ So happy I have a real art job now! Yay for not being in school...

[Matsign]

The thing I hated most about this ( and all customer service jobs ) cashier bot job was pretending to be well adjusted and everything is OK shit. I told a few customers that, "I was crying on the inside.", when asked, How are you?" I think I told one guy, "may all your dreams come true, as each one of mine is destroyed."

Needless to say, management transfers me to 3rd shift. Then 3rd shift gas station, my present office. The thing you got to understand is that in these "super" stores with gas stations, is that gas station is the collection point for the stores rejects. And there I work my magic! The beautiful thing about 3rd shift gas station is that as long as you fucking show up, you be bullet proof!

lol

My "helpful smile in every aisle" demeanor could only last so long. I had a similar "incident" on day shift. Then joined the circus at the store's gas station.

I work will some lowlifes but its better than those fucking tools at the super store.

[Dave_]

One more; Don't go mad at us for not having a partiqular item in the selves or in the back. Even with Dutch Logistical awesomeness you can't 100% guarantee that you're favorite product will be there at 7:30 PM on a saturday. IT'S NOT OUR FAULT.

I'm glad i dont work at a supermarket anymore.

[Meli Hitchcock]

I agree that management is a huge part of the problem! At least with crappy customers it's a short term experience and typically you don't see them again.

Dairy Queen -> The lead manager and store owner were involved in this damn love triangle so all this drama would unfold that none of us wanted to get involved in. Half the time we'd get our paychecks and the checks would BOUNCE, so we'd have to go to the store and they'd give us the cash out of the till. These guys were never around to support us either, they were too busy off fucking (or screaming at) each other.

Burger King -> I think there were a few times the store manager stood up for us employees, but most of the time we were berated for never working hard enough or fast enough or we were just slacking off. Seriously, being on your feet from 5:00am to around 2:00pm, with a 5 min break and 30 min lunch, you're always looking for a time to rest your feet when you can. Which isn't often in that kind of job. Our store manager wasn't that bad, but we had this other lady who would take over for him when he wasn't there and she was a right bitch. Always chewing us out for one thing or another. I think this place was the worst as far as dealing with abusive managers.

Hobby Lobby -> We went through like three managers at that place. The first one slammed the door on my face when I asked him about my 6 month performance review I was supposed to get. Company contract stated I was supposed to be hired at a base hourly wage, and if I did well in the first 6 months I'd be up for the review and potential raise based off performance. Naive me wanted to know when I could get the review done because I really busted my tail off and would have liked a raise. But my manager just looked at me, then turned around and muttered, "Yeah, we all want more money don't we?" Then slammed the office door on my face. That made me never mention raises again to my employers.

Second manager I didn't get to know well enough before he requested a store transfer. Third manager was actually a nice guy, but just stressed all the time and slow to respond to customer requests. This caused a lot of customers to get pissed off at us of course, but eh. What could you do? Sadly he died 3 years ago of cancer. :(

Okay, I've done WAY too much complaining about old jobs. Time to say something things that were memorable in a good way!

We had this one old man come in about every 2 months or so and would give all the ladies in the store these gorgeous little angel pins he made from beads. He was so polite and so sweet to all the staff, everyone loved him and looked forward to his visits. :)

Another time I had this elderly gentleman come in who was interested in airbrushing but didn't know what airbrushes to get or which compressors were good. It was very slow that evening, so I offered to set up a little demonstration for him in the crafting rooms we had near the rear of the store. I spent probably a good hour showing him all three airbrushes we had, answering and asking him questions, and showing how to actually use an airbrush. By the time I concluded the demo, he explained to me how happy he was that I did this for him because he had been trying to find a place to show him how these supplies worked, but no one would help. He ended up getting an airbrush and compressor that evening, all excited to get home and start using them. ^_^

It get so easy to get wrapped up in all the negative that happens at work, but sometimes those good moments that made the job worth it. When I got transferred to the Art Department at the craft store, I was much happier despite there being more work do to. At least I could give people advice and educate them about art supplies (because some people would seriously try and buy professional paints for their 6 year old).

[nonie]

You know, as shitty as it sometimes was, there were a lot of things I did when working retail cashier positions that were really really fun. I'd have one conversation I'd start in the morning and keep repeating it to each customer, and by the end of the night I'd know every response they could have and have a witty statement at the ready. My regular evening customers thought I was the most eloquent and hilarious person they'd ever met and would try to give me tips, though I wasn't allowed to take them. But it was merely that I had practiced a lot :P

For you cashiers out there - sometimes a lot of your problems can be completely avoided by *not* looking like you hate your job and *not* treating the customers like fucking inconveniences. Most of the time people treat you how you treat them. I've had shit jobs before and at every one of them I made a point of making it fun - and often the best way to do so is to engage your customers. And hey - a lot of the time this also gets you pay raises, better shift times, etc. If you can't muster up a smile and a hello, maybe a compliment on a pair of earrings if it looks like the person's having a bad day, don't be surprised if someone isn't nice to you. Shit takes effort and you're spending 8 hours of your day there or more, so don't be a piss-sack and people won't do it back to you. Better for everyone.

Edit: It is true that managers at shitty jobs like that almost ALWAYS suck at life and are horrible human beings with ego and control issues and never went to school to get better jobs because they were too anti-social to function. All you can hope for is not to piss them off. Good luck with that.