Portrait of my father

[Banana]

this is a portrait im working on for my dad... and i was wondering if anyone could help see soem areas that need work.... obviously its not done yet, but ANY sort of comment or crit would be greatly appreciated....

http://www.geocities.com/jtallman2004/dadpre3b.txt

thank you very much for your time.

[Darrell Bowman]

Nice work very good beginning just keep going.

personally i keep away from too many marks or steps in a face.
Interesting effect but i find it dirty a face and make it look old fast.
It kinda like lots of wrinkles, the younger you are
the less wrinkles so the less
lines or steps. i dont think a face has to be be totall flat flesh color.
but the other extreme is what im nervous of too getting it too dirty.
so if i see values ...i pick one general one
and go for the next surface plain. your colors and value are correct
i just personally would not dab so much.
but nothing carved in stone, rule wise.
plus your only at the start maybe your intention is to smooth out areas
but i hope this may be good for other people as well.

[foster]

It is a lovely start! I particularly like the brushwork on the forehead and top of skull. You have used your relative cools to great effect here. The brush work, color and edges around the left eye (on the right for us) are quite nice as well. The thing to remember or ask yourself is what do I want from this portrait. Is it to be as real as possible or to capture some intangible essence that is your father? So in finding out what you want you can then edit what is necessary and what only detracts. This is your painting, grab the bull by the horns and make sure it remains yours. Think about your decisions and stand by them. If they turn out to be wrong learn from them and adjust. If we were to break down painting into a formula we would all paint the same and it would have a very academic smell to it.

You are painting so well at this point that I bring up philosophies of approach only because they seem more pertinent to your advancement. Forgive any blathering or incomprehensibility.

Points that are flat or have diminished interest are

The nose. Play more with the edges as well as the bone cartilage profile on the top contour of the nose. It is very straight now and this is one of those places that people instinctively look. Also the tip and nostrils of the nose have a plethora of varied edges that meld into one another to make the bottom of the nose. Play a little more here.

The ear, I can tell that you have just started to knock it in. I just wanted to say that I think ears are the coolest, (as in neato) things. I hope you also play with the structure and edges here as well. Right now the ear seems to pop out a little too much but perhaps your father has ears that do just that.

The nasal labial fold. A little too regular in the arch. It probably is that regular but maybe you can vary the values as it descends and the edges as well to give it some diversity.

Bring some of that confident brushwork into the rest of the face and this piece will sing louder than it already is.

Jon

[Banana]

jon foster...Im the guy you met at the gallery of the ISB at risd... nick jainschigg introduced me to you.. that tall kid with the tan hat... you were helping someone put up their work... dont know if you remember me, but how damn cool that id get to hear from you again in a place like this...

i totally agree with you on what you said and i'll get to work on it right away... thanks.

[foster]

Banana, or Josh?

Well i do remember. Nick said you could draw like nobody has the right to and i can tell by this post that he was not lying.

Great to hear from you and i look forward to seeing what you paint.

Jon foster

[Darrell Bowman]

my eye picked up the hairline coming from the ear to the eye
along the zygomatic arch near the temporal arch above his eye. i probably wrong but the hair above his side burns is too close to the eye. the frontalis the bone above the eye.
sits at the side of the eye then zygomatic and the temporal move up to the top of the head.
the hair line i feel should be maybe back closer to the ear
and not so close to the eye.
i know it all in the works but hey...that might be a issue.
love the painting so far cant wait to see it done or futher along.
great stuff sorry for the comments.