the "I shouldn't have done that..." thread

[stoph]

searched and couldnt recall if a thread like this exists. sorry if it does. post your own "I shouldn't have done that..." moments!

so at the moment here down under, we're going through a heatwave. haven't had a day drop below 40ºC (104ºF) for the past week, and its gonna stay that way until this time next week too. we've had power cuts, and i have no aircon. needless to say that sleeping at night is a bitch.

so there i am, waking up every half hour or so, unable to get comfortable, sticking to my sheets with gallons of sweat pouring off, and i find myself thinking, "hmm.. i'm thirsty"

so i peel myself off of my sweat-soaked sheets and stumble out into the kitchen, where by the light of the microwave clock i manage to find myself my favourite (and biggest) cup - a tin monster used to make milkshakes in normally. its sitting on the kitchen sink, i take a sniff and figure its clean, rinse it out under the tap for good measure. i then fill it to the brim, and top it off with a tray full of ice cubes.

i wait a while, let it cool off (since the cold tap aint exactly "cold" at the moment), before downing it in a few short seconds. i finish up, and have this strange taste/sensation in my mouth. i wouldnt say it was pain, but it was uncomfortable. i then felt something crawling on my arm, and i figured it was an ant. i turned on the kitchen light, only to find my arm and hand that was holding the cup covered in ants. i then looked to the cup which i'd placed back on the sink, and all i could see was this black, swarming throng of ants. they were after the water in the sink, which is what they do in this heat. i looked into the cup, and saw about 20 dead ants floating in the dregs of the water i just drank, and another 50 or so crawling all over the cup. i then realised that they'd been in there from the start, and i'd just swallowed a whole cup full of the little buggers. eh.

i shouldn't have done that...

[r.mccabe]

Awesome. Nothing to add, just awesome.

[Ilaekae]

...protein's good for you... :P

To quote one of my old girlfriends, "Never do anything in the dark. You'll never know what's ending up in you..." :)

[SalOnimaruRem]

I bet that drink tasted good Stoph! yum! ;p

it aint worst then mine i tell ya

I was drinking strawberry pop in the morning and i couldn't finish it so i left it behind the TV and went to bed and the next day i woke up and for no reason i saw my pop behind the TV, picked it up, and i was thinking "was this my pop" and then i drank it. The liquid poured into my mouth and i felt huge thing crawling in my mouth and wiggling to get out and i was freakin the hell out and i spit it back out but sadly i swallowed some of the liquid. X_X

it was those sort of bugs that makes clicking noise with there head and another strange bug that i have no idea wat the hell it was >.>

[arttorney]

Ha Ha. Sounds like a death watch beetle. Sort of brings to mind a scene from Silence of the Lambs.

You will tell me won't you? Have the beetles become silent?

I did the ant thing. I know how you feel. If the little bastards want water they should pay part of the bill.

[Dave_]

I shouldn't have gotten hit by that scooter last week friday. 1 scratch on my face, little wound on my finger. So i'm prettymutch thinking i'm inveunrable. Add my teen 'i'm-inveunrable'. yeah, i'm going to get myself killed ;D

[PuppyKitten]

To quote one of my old girlfriends, "Never do anything in the dark. You'll never know what's ending up in you..." :)

Am I right to suspect she wasn't referring to the act of eating/drinking?

[Ilaekae]

...she never explained it... :P

[SalOnimaruRem]

Ha Ha. Sounds like a death watch beetle..

no, but i looked it up and its not that beetle, i just found out its called "click beetle"

now i just have to remember what was that other huge insect...

[Straight Edge Ryan]

2 come to mind

So it was 8th grade, and in my english class (don't ask me why it was in english class) they were going over some of the things from the holocaust. So of course there's lots of presentations and dioramas and all that, and one picture I saw was a picture from a concentration camp that could best be described as a dogpile of bodies, when I saw it I very loudly said "hey look! they're having a football game!", which of course began one of the most uncomfortable silences in history

The other was a Freudian slip I had in my speech class. Me and this girl Jenna had been having this kinda flirtsy thing going on for a while and she was really cute, but of course I'm notoriously bad with women and saying the right thing. So long story short, we were talking and she said something along the lines of "I'm gonna run down the the cafeteria to get a drink, do you want to come with me?" Now, what I MEANT to say was "oh sure I'd love to come with you" what I REALLY said was "oh sure, I'd love to come in you". As luck would have it, the class got really quiet at the EXACT moment I said that. This too lead to one of the most uncomfortable silences in history. I am such an idiot :\

[Duq]

Yesterday I played a zombie game in a dark office building. I eluded a large group of zombies by some smart hiding. And when they all walked passed me into a corridor (hiding behind the curtains), I fled the scene, some saw me and came after me, I ran my ass off with a hunter zombie (those run) behind me while shooting behind me, emptying my whole magazine with the exception of one bullet. After my most epic dash through a cubicle area and loosing the hunter and the group of zombies, I encounter one lone zombie in a corridor. I carefully take aim, press the trigger and nothing comes out. Stupid that I am, I take a few steps back, and look at my barrel, while clicking the trigger several times. Obviously I headshotted myself....

Dont rely on me with a real zombie invasion....

[hippl5]

i manage to find myself my favourite (and biggest) cup - a tin monster used to make milkshakes in normally. its sitting on the kitchen sink, i take a sniff and figure its clean, rinse it out under the tap for good measure.

I thought I was the only cup sniffer here... I usually take a whiff of the cup to make sure it's not dirty.

[alesoun]

Not strictly speaking something I shouldn't have done, but I took my husband over to see his cousin last weekend. His cousin and I had coffee (I was driving) but she told him to help himself to a drink. He found himself some vodka while we went through to the lounge, and came through with it in a glass with a pretty textured base.

Over the next few minutes his drink went from clear to the colour of whisky.

Finally his cousin asked him if he'd poured himself a vodka.

Hubby; "Yes, why?"

Cousin; "Did you take a mixer or ice with it?"

Hubby; "No."

Cousin; "Where did you get the glass you're using?"

Hubby; "The wall cupboard next to the sink. Why?"

Cousin; "My box of garlic pearls broke, and I put them into a glass in that cupboard. Didn't your drink taste funny?"

[Jason Ross]

Stupid story on my part. I helped my friend move some very OLD logs he had in his back yard. I started working out before this and felt strong so I hoisted those bad boys over my shoulder. So about 8 seconds later I felt a strong prick on the side of my neck...then another...then another, I dropped that damn log and started smacking myself all along the part of my neck, shoulder, and back...FIRE ANTS were in that log and FU$%ed my ass up.

[Mark Bot]

dated my brother's girlfriend's best-friend.

... oops.

[Rob!T]

My family were walking through a wood in Spain when I was young (about 9), my brother was running ahead of me quite quickly and I was trying to keep up. I stopped to catch my breath and realized that my legs felt tingly. I stood there for a second, confused, looked down and saw that I was standing in a wasp's nest. My brother had just disturbed it but not noticed, and I stopped right on it. I got stung about in about 20 places, mostly around my legs, and once I ran from the bush my legs collapsed and I couldn't seem to walk.

These days any wasp within 5-10 feet of me pretty much paralyzes me with fear. It's a completely irrational reaction, and if you asked me if wasps were scary I'd say no, but every time one flies by, sure as anything, my body decides to play possum, and i assume a position similar to a turtle sinking into it's shell.

F***ing wasps

[r.mccabe]

I was really young, and was playing outside. I always hopped the back fence. My Mom told me "look out for the board with nails in it". There was a board fallen off the fence. Not paying attention I hopped the fence to get back home and landed right on the nail. Through my shoe right into my foot it went. My foot cramps up really bad on occasion if I flex my foot wrong.

[Psypomp]

... I generally give the cup a quick rinse, because I'm paranoid about stuff like that. Stoph, your story gave me the willies like nothing else.

My biggest mistakes come from not wanting to speak up or be singled out... when I was younger, I'd always miss out on things because I was afraid to join in. It brings more emotional turmoil than physical pain ever could.

[Grief]

back in the day your hero Grief was in high school, which is nearly identical to the version you know and love today, but with less paint on his clothes and a more oily skin.

anyway in attempts to gain some extra credit in our english class we -my mormon friends and i- started making film adaptations of stories we were reading. we made an Andromeda Strain video, Huckleberry Finn, The Odyssey, The crucible, and so on. yeah i know, tough kids.

We decided that we ought to make a film adaptation of a short story called The Sniper. Which, spoiler alert, involves two snipers shooting from rooftops at each other until finally one dies and you learn it was his brother on the other side of the conflict. Simple plot, easy project.

So we build these fake guns in woodshop class and spray paint them flat black, they looked like assault rifles designed by a kid in special ed.... which y'know snipers use assault rifles right? The story only really needs two guns, one for each sniper (hell we could have used one and used the magic of editing to use the same one for both sides), but no we build about eight of these fuckers including a few handguns for good measure, just in case the story was rewritten during film production we wouldn't be caught off guard.

We decided to film this at the school of course, as it has buildings we were familiar enough with that we could sneak onto the roofs of. And we did. So we're getting comfortable running through angles of how we're going to film, and doing mock scenes and dramatic “pew pew, ugh ya' got me” actions. We are about to start getting some practice takes going when a concerned parent, picking up their kid from football practice, eyes us. They start shouting out concerned remarks to come off the roof, and we brush it off without much regard. Of course being young we immediately must be up to no good and the crowd of angry parents down below in the parking lot is getting larger as they discuss the events they are seeing from down there.

The verbal conflict reaches a point where we decide to halt production for a later date. They finally harass us enough that we begin to come down off the rooftop... and as we are packing down the tripod and other props (the guns) the "hey you kids shouldn't be doing that" attitude turns into “WHAT THE FUCK!” and much anger coming from parents of the community. The situation is getting ugly as they aren't listening to our very simple premise and soon enough threats of violence to apprehend us until the police arrive causes us all to bolt from the school. Naturally we all take different directions but end up at my house.

Keep in mind this is about a year after Columbine, and in this pre-9/11 world this was the greatest terror fear in America. We decide that the movie should be scrapped and that having the moronic adults of the community now all think we are going to kill their kids was probably enough adventures for the day.

My friends bail and go home. Only to return about twenty minutes later escorted by the police. Looks like the asshole school parents called the pigs on us and my friends got caught walking home. The pigs are none too happy and are breaking our balls about all the shit we raised they question us for over an hour individually (did I mention three out of the four of us were valedictorians?). They have multiple patrol cars parked at my house and they need to see the weapons used in our school shooting plot. We go to the garage where the 'weapons' are laid out. They look at the guns, look at us, and start fucking laughing at us. They're nearly in tears at how ridiculous our craftsmanship was, as I think they expected real guns or something. They confiscate a few of the crappier looking ones, which I assume is so they can make fun of us properly to others back at the station. We are let off the hook completely after that.

Not the most 'bad' thing... but guns + school = good idea?
What was I thinking? :nohope:

[Psychotime]

This is a great thread. Too bad I can't think of anything really good.

There was one time I ran my bike headfirst into a telephone pole because I was trying to race a bus. (I was 7 or 8.)

Yeah, really weak.

Cousin; "My box of garlic pearls broke, and I put them into a glass in that cupboard. Didn't your drink taste funny?"

That doesn't sound bad at all.

[timpaatkins]

Drinking mescaline and deciding to take a stroll on the Paris subway tracks. If my parents only knew. ( and if I only knew what the fuck kinda crazy shit THEY got up too back in the day...)

[c-hsu-run]

I was a teacher's aid in an art class in high school and we were doing watercolors. One of the girls reached over, missed her coffee, and drank from the paint water cup.

At least it wasn't goache.

[Brightdreamer]

Back when I was about 5, my sister and I were rough-housing when Mom told us to close the sliding glass door in back.

She neglected to say which one of us should do it.

It shouldn't have mattered, but like I said we were already overhyped - and I was 5. I got there first... but my sister's the one who closed the door.

I almost got clear...

And that's why I only have four fingernails on my left hand.

Shouldn't have done that...

[loveandasandwich]

I was a teacher's aid in an art class in high school and we were doing watercolors. One of the girls reached over, missed her coffee, and drank from the paint water cup.

At least it wasn't goache.

I have... TOTALLY done that. It was nasty.


Hmm.. I dont have anything really good I can think of, but I've always broken bones in really stupid ways since I was a little kid.
I broke my wrist once from climbing a 3 foot fence, getting my pants stuck, and catching my fall awkwardly on one hand. I broke the same wrist again in college when someone was trying to teach me how to skateboard. I sorta had it down, too, but then the board flew out from under me & I caught my fall with it and fractured it. I fractured my ankle from trying to jump off my friends roof onto her trampoline. I made it, but I didnt bounce back up like I thought would happen. My legs just buckled as soon as I hit, hahaha. I broke my pinky finger when I was really little, when I was pretending to be a Power Ranger, getting all pumped up and punching and kicking the air, when I accidentally punched the outside wall of my garage.

[kab]

You know sometimes, you have a certain someone on your mind, and you are discussing that someone with a friend via text-messages...

...and since that someone is pretty much the only thing your frustrated brain can keep focused on...

...you send the text-message to that someone instead?

That's when you've fucked up =)

[Psypomp]

I call my boyfriend "dad" sometimes (by accident!). I want to hit myself every time I do it.. it's so weird.

[Clochette]

Ho me too I drank the water while doing water color ! :D

Humm mine are ridiculous...

I asked the butcher woman if she was pregnant, because I thought she had a big belly. ..... She wasn't....

In a show, with other artists, I was laughing at a painting with my little sister, not loudly though. The painting was a horse, running in a field. The grass was GREEN, the sky was BLUE, with a little rainbow and all. It was not bad painted but reaaaally cheezy. So we were laughing a little bit and then this man came and said "Hey, I'm the artist! Do you love it?" :] lol . Was very hard to find something to say!

Once I was with a very good friend of mine, and we were talking about family. And he explained that he knew a family with many kids, and he explains that one of the last child on the 12 was called "Désiré". It's a french name, and it means "wished for". And he was saying that he finded that great, because sometimes when there is too much kids the last ones feel less loved and all. And there, I was maybe a bit drunk, I asked : "And what was the name of the very last one? Hole-in-a-condom?" (I know it really sucks) And then he said "No, it was Brigitte, my mother" .......................................... oops!
Hopefully I know him very well and we just laugh about it now! :)

I also told to a friend I loved him on msn, because I thought I was taping in the conversation with my man (he has msn at his job). And my friend answered "well I love you too... I guess". Hhahahahaha!

I think there is a lot more but that's all I can remember now! ^^

[Grumbledook]

heh I remember when one of the kids in my german class at school called the teacher mum once by mistake

and the text thing, one of my mates sent a text to my (at the time) girlfriend instead of his, they were next to each other in his phone book

I've done a fair few stupid things, all of which involve alcohol ;o

[morgothaod]

made this thread, http://conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=148972 LOL!

[Jason Rainville]

I think I've already told this story but what the hell.

Back in my first year of highschool I wasn't quite as slick as I am today (and seeing as right now I'm as slick as a potholed road paved with sandpaper you can imagine what I was like back then :P) Like all guys me and my classmates bugged the hell out of each other about various things. One day, everyone was jokingly calling everyone out and letting them know just how badly they'd get it "Oh man you're going to get a super-uppercut!" "Yeah well Ima break your legs!" etc.

I was spectating when one guy 'called me out' and said "Jason, I'm going to rip your balls off!"

I wasn't expecting getting into this conversation, and somewhere in my retarded teen mind I pictured myself 'hiding' my balls or something (?) but instead of saying that, it came out as:

"Good luck finding them!!!" :D

...

:wtf:

:(

[PuppyKitten]

I was maybe 8 and trying to impress this cute boy. I wanted to make a running leap onto the top of this huge mailbox in my neighborhood. So I'm running, but I forget to actually jump in time (I was not a very coordinated child) and I end up just running face-first into it.

My bottom teeth cut through the skin just beneath my lower lip and were sticking through the other side with blood everywhere. I couldn't pull my lip off of my teeth either, it was pierced clean through and stuck like that.

It hurt sooo bad but I was determined to keep my cool (though I was barely able to speak from the blood and trying to hold my face together:

Him: "Oh my god are you okay?"

Me: (covering my lower face) "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

Him: "You hit the mailbox!"

Me: "No, that was my trick; I *pretended* to hit it"

Him: "You're bleeding!!!"

Me: "Uh, no I'm not."

Him: "YES! You are! I'll go get your dad!!"

Me: "No, it's not blood."

Him: "It's right there, it's all on your shirt! I don't think you're okay."

Me: "No, that was always there. I had a popsicles earlier. Hey, this has nothing to do with the mailbox thing, but I think I am going to go home now for another reason." (casually struts off).

Of course the second I was around the corner I broke into a run and ran screaming the whole way home (which he could probably hear).

[Alex Chow]

There was this tradition with the family back when I was very young dubbed "The Poisonous Potion", loosely translated from the Chinese term. My cousins, sister, and other younglings of my family would get bored after meals in a Chinese restaurant since the elders would talk for a long time. To alleviate the boredom, we got leftovers and other mixable items and mixed them all into a glass cup: tea, half-bitten dim sum, spit, ripped up tissue paper, and anything else that would truly make the potion "poisonous". We were simply amused by colour and texture changes and laughed at the resulting concoctions

In one instance, however, a family member accidentally picked up a finished potion and drank it.

Whoops.

[Oden]

There was this tradition with the family back when I was very young dubbed "The Poisonous Potion", loosely translated from the Chinese term. My cousins, sister, and other younglings of my family would get bored after meals in a Chinese restaurant since the elders would talk for a long time. To alleviate the boredom, we got leftovers and other mixable items and mixed them all into a glass cup: tea, half-bitten dim sum, spit, ripped up tissue paper, and anything else that would truly make the potion "poisonous". We were simply amused by colour and texture changes and laughed at the resulting concoctions

In one instance, however, a family member accidentally picked up a finished potion and drank it.

Whoops.

hah, I used to do that too, although I called them "burglar potions." I would mix up baking soda, toothpaste, peanut butter, dishsoap, etc--anything I could get my hands on--and then leave it in a nice cup by the front door with a sign that said "Burglars Drink This."

Never worked..... as far as I know. But then again, we were never robbed.



As for what I shouldn't have done...
just a few weeks ago, a few friends and I were out on the town celebrating(?) the first day back in school. I was the only sober one, and at around 2 am (which is when the bars close, and all the drunks come out onto the streets) we headed to an all-night pizza place.
Two drunk guys (roughly my size) were inside, talking shit to EVERYBODY. But I was probably the only sober on in the place, so I was the likely only who actually noticed it.
I got into a little bit of a confrontation with them when I told them to "shut the f*** up, etc, etc," but it cooled down. Later on, when we were on the street outside, one of the guys said something behind our backs. I turned around and fingered him, and we started shouting at each other.
I think it woulda ended there....BUT what I didn't know was that the two drunk guys had a ~230ish lb. body-building, roid-raging friend who took some serious offense at my elevated middle finger (give me a break). He started bumping into me, but at that point I was so confused by all the yelling, I had no idea who he was or why he was in my face.

As we were all getting into the taxi, I realised what he had been doing, and flipped him the bird personally.

Immediately it was like "I reallllllly shouldn't have done that..."

he actually ran after the taxi as it was pulling out (rather slowly), pulled open the passenger side door, and sucker-punched me in the side of the face (I had a hoodie on, I was just starting to turn to look at the sound of the door opening). I dunno why I hadn't locked it, I was kinda distracted by that point.

I had a black eye for about a week and a half afterwards, all out of sheer stupidity. I've been injured mountain-biking and doing silly shit before, but that was definitely my most clearly "shouldn't have done that" moment. I'm normally quite a peaceful, cheerful non-confrontational person, drunk or sober, and I usually just let stuff like that slide...:(

[shannowman]

You know sometimes, you have a certain someone on your mind, and you are discussing that someone with a friend via text-messages...

...and since that someone is pretty much the only thing your frustrated brain can keep focused on...

...you send the text-message to that someone instead?

That's when you've fucked up =)

Done that, ruined my summer.

[JailHouseRock2]

Hmm.. I dont have anything really good I can think of, but I've always broken bones in really stupid ways since I was a little kid.
I broke my wrist once from climbing a 3 foot fence, getting my pants stuck, and catching my fall awkwardly on one hand. I broke the same wrist again in college when someone was trying to teach me how to skateboard. I sorta had it down, too, but then the board flew out from under me & I caught my fall with it and fractured it. I fractured my ankle from trying to jump off my friends roof onto her trampoline. I made it, but I didnt bounce back up like I thought would happen. My legs just buckled as soon as I hit, hahaha. I broke my pinky finger when I was really little, when I was pretending to be a Power Ranger, getting all pumped up and punching and kicking the air, when I accidentally punched the outside wall of my garage.


Oh Chelsea, I do believe I can beet that...

Wow I havent told this story to anyone in years.

OK so back when I was 9, we had a big house with lots of land and lots of animals. (this isn't bull shit btw) So one day I was I the field with some friends and a girl I really liked, and I thought it would be cool if I tried to ride one of our goats. (I'll say it again, this is not bull shit) And yeah u you guest it, the goat ran off and I fell off, braking my arm and looking like a dick on the ground. Some years later I broke my wrist when a wheelbarrow fell on my. And no I'm not going into details.

And finally 2 years ago I broke my wrist again, (Not unlike you Chelsea) while skateboarding, (I wasn't learning tho). And of course there's no girl's around to see my crash. In fact that was the problem, it was on a deserted street with on one around and there's me crumpled on the sidewalk.

Wow I suck,
Keep well Chelsea, don't go hurting your self!

matt

[shamandalie]

I remember the dumbest thing i did when i was younger.

My mum's prayer beads broke and i helped her gather them cause they were all over the floor. I was waiting for my mum to change as we were going out. Then i suddenly had this brilliant idea of sticking a bead up my nose. First it was alright, then i blew it out, and then another and i blew it out again. The third one got stuck up too high in my right nostril and i could not blow it out.
My mum called my uncle and he drove me to the hospital to use some scary instrument to dig it out.

It didn't hurt but that's really the stupidest thing i ever did. -____-

[slowcheetah]

I tripped shrooms one night with a friend -

45 minutes into it, he began to say- "I'm not doing so good dude, I think I'm dying, I think I'm really sick. And I can't see any color anymore." He wanted to call an ambulance, so I freaked the hell out and ran out of his parents house into the dark. I didn't want anything to do with what was about to happen.

Well anyways, I end up walking 6 miles - most of which was in the pitch fucking dark. (I/we lived in the middle of nowhere..) Then, I end up at a police station at around 2 am, it's tuesday and I think I took a wrong turn. So now I'm waving at a cop standing outside like a fucking idiot. And I am tripping balls..

[tsujni]

When I was 10, my sister and I thought that it would be good fun to throw rocks into the freeway by my aunt's house. Well we didn't hit a car, but, a woman and her husband were riding bicycles and I threw a rock hitting the woman in the leg. I didn't see the damage, my sister says there was blood and I heard the woman's cries. I was never caught, however, to this day, I cry whenever I remember it.

[Matsign]

I decided very quickly I could make a drunk hurdle over a small, frozen creek to get across to my friend's apartment building.

I plunged through the thin snow and ice and drenched myself in ice water up to my waist.

I stripped the soaked clothes off and shivered my drunk ass to sleep.

I had a dream about drowning that night. I shouldn't of done that.

[stoph]

ahh rock throwing, my old friend..

one time whilst at a bush retreat (shrubberies, not dubbya), me and a group of kids were down the creek, and i thought it a cool idea to skip some stones across a pool we were passing at the time. i threw a few with no worries, but then i saw one kid walking across the edge directly in front of me. i'd figured by now i couldnt make the distance if i tried, so i continued throwing stones. the last one i threw managed to bounce up and smack the aforementioned kid in the forehead with quite some force. there were instant tears and screams, and a severe scolding from the kids parent. i shouldn't have done that.

during said bush retreat, although a little earlier in my life (about 4 years old) a big group of us went rabbit trapping. we'd scout out their burrows by dusk, and then go and set those bear-trap-esque contraptions out the front of their front doors. we had just finished setting the last one up for the night, and were about to climb back into the 4WD and trailer to go back to the campsite, when BAM! i jumped down the little hillock i was standing on and landed right on the live trap. got my leg halfway up my shin. had i not been wearing gumboots, i'd be limping on a prosthetic to this day. i shouldn't have done that.

[loveandasandwich]

Oh wait! I just thought of a good one. :B

I was in high school, & a bunch of my friends drove into the woods to have a campfire & get drunk. It wasn't far off from the main road, but far enough that we wouldn't get noticed. But then a bunch of kids from another town came and were super loud and stupid, and were doing donuts right in front of the entrance back out into the street. By then I was feeling sick, I didn't know my limits with liquor yet, so I laid down in the back of my friends car. Then all the sudden my friend comes in and yells COPS! RUN! I was so confused and drunk. I stumbled out of the car only to run and fall face first into a huge puddle of mud. I picked myself up and started running again, but I couldn't see shit because it was pitch black. I tripped again, and started sliding down this steep bank. I landed in water, and then grasped around the air until I latched onto a tree, which I hid behind until I saw the maglites go away. When my friends finally found eachother again, I was soaking wet and covered in mud.

[timpaatkins]

At a local small musifestival in the woods, I, dressed in my best suit (as I was a mod back then) decided to take a drunken pee behind some bushes up a small hill. I promptly ran up the hill whilst unbuttoning my trousers, when i fell arse over tit into the river located just behind the EMBANKEMENT. I stood up, water up to my waist and peed. Downstream of course.

It was a very uncomfortable 6 hours till the end.

[SalOnimaruRem]

loveandasandwich lol i love drunks stories :D i have a lot of my own with my friends but I am gonna keep them a secret hehee

here is one thing i shouldn't have done....

Make friends who disband or dislike you by judging on your personality or looks.... :(

[PuppyKitten]

here is one thing i shouldn't have done....

Make friends who disband or dislike you by judging on your personality or looks.... :(

Seriously?! I can understand friends growing apart over personality differences, but your appearance? That's just retarded, and you are far better off not having them in your life.

One day those people will wake up old and ugly and they'll be miserable for the rest of their lives because they put so much stock in vanity. Time will be your revenge.

[Mock]

Anything and everything I've ever done that involved shots of Everclear and fire.

[CGMonkey]

As a 4 year old riding my tricycle down a long hill and hit a dead stop, falling on my chin and biting off my tongue always strike me as "Let's not do that again"

[Noa K]

well, i hope this one will be transelatedfrom hebrew to english well enough..
should probably give notice of *language* i guess (nothing too offensive, but necessary..)

6 years ago i was part of a singing group and we were invited to preform on the "golden-screen awards" ceremony (an award show to israeli tv-programs and projects). we had the opening number and were staged to sing as a choir. i was standing in second row and behind me two of my friend kept telling pussy jokes all the way through the general rehersal. well, i'm not the kind of person to handle pussy jokes and was trying to keep my calm and dignaty from embarresment in front of all the high-prophiled industry people, while my friends knew that and the pussy jokes became more and more vulgare. they wanted to crack me, but i didn't. anyway, our nuber ended, and we went off-stage, and all the way down those two friends of mine walking step behind me, each of one side of me, still telling pussy-jokes. as we went off stage, this actress called Tzipie Shavit was coming on stage, just in front of me. now, Tzipie Shavit had a very popular kiddie show when i was little, called Tzipiet-poot, which i adored. so as she came up at us, the little 'o' fan that i am, i wanted to call "hey look! here's tzipiet-poot!" but as she came across me, what came out of my mouth was "hey look! here's Tzipiet-pussy!" very loudly, physically to her face.
realizing what i just said, hoping the earth would open and swallow me hole, i just kept on walking...

[stoph]

Anything and everything I've ever done that involved shots of Everclear and fire.

you had shots of fire..? HARRRD.. CORRRRE...

[JL.Alfaro]

so there I am sitting in jail, the officer comes over and says "Do you know how long you will be in for this? hu? Do you know what they do to pretty young guys in prison?"
I knew the answer to both of those questions, but in disbelief and possibly some confusion due to alcoholic intoxication I shook my head briefly as I held on to the bars and glanced at the officer before me. He proceeded to describe in graphic detail the circumstances and consequences of said circumstances which I was about to live out on my own reality and in due time. 12 hours holding time, 3 hours processing time and give or take 15 to 20 minutes in travel time. That was the amount of time I had left before those gestures he was making with his hands and hips became reality. I could only hope that my aggressors were as gentle and he seemed it be while performing the dance macabre in front of me.
"There will be a pounding..." he said, but that's not what worried me
"what comes after...is the death of your very soul"..that was.
"you are a tough kid, I can tell... and you will probably take one or two out...but there will be many, and they will be in line to take a shot at you...that's what they live for in there man....that's what they do"
He proceeded to re-enact the future beatings as he narrated my struggle and final defeat like a prophet receiving divine knowledge. My stomach upset.
My skin crawled, I felt dirty. I kept telling myself that it was not going to go down like that and I ran the scenario about a hundred times in my head before the officer got up from his one-handed-push-up/hip-thrust-worm-dance-electricboogaloo he was performing.
a very loud buzzer went of for a few seconds and a second officer came in the room. "Alfaro, get your shit...somebody just made your bail."
I left two officers in disbelief that night, one face palming while the other proceeded to tell me how and when and why I would be back.

Good god, I shouldn't have done that. I missed that bullet phew.

[Jazz]

I shouldn't have quit before I started. Way back I did it because it didn't seem to matter what I did--someone laughed at me (not with me), mainly because I was smart, or saw things differently, or talked "big Black words"--I always talked proper. Someone stared at me because I was "too" white looking. Someone whispered right behind me, also because I was so white looking. I shouldn't have let life get to me, and maybe I could've been something great by now. :( I mean, I couldn't even scream after a while, so I couldn't sing the way I wanted to. Or draw or anything. :(

I also should've asked Mom STRONGLY when I was tiny, if I could go further in school. I could've skipped classes but I was "socially inept". :P

[daestwen]

Stupidest thing I ever did... no question.

My sister bought a slingshot one day, and we were slingshotting potatoes from our window at the subway. This wasn't the stupid part. Dad called us to dinner and when we were sitting there we noticed that there were some grapes on the table. She was sitting across from me, and with a grin on her face said:

"Why don't you slingshot a grape into my mouth?"

Now, I thought this was a brilliant idea, for reasons totally beyond me, so I grabbed the slingshot and a grape. She opened her mouth wide, laughing, and covered her eyes, and I pulled the slingshot all the way back and... fired the grape. right into the back of her throat.

Ahm, she immediately began to choke, and then coughed up some blood and the demolished grape, and I immediately thought that I had accidently killed my sister.

I didn't, thankfully, but it was the dumbest, dumbest thing I had ever done in my life. a_a



and, ahm, this was like a year ago.

[FourTonMantis]

searched and couldnt recall if a thread like this exists. sorry if it does. post your own "I shouldn't have done that..." moments!

so at the moment here down under, we're going through a heatwave. haven't had a day drop below 40ºC (104ºF) for the past week, and its gonna stay that way until this time next week too. we've had power cuts, and i have no aircon. needless to say that sleeping at night is a bitch.

so there i am, waking up every half hour or so, unable to get comfortable, sticking to my sheets with gallons of sweat pouring off, and i find myself thinking, "hmm.. i'm thirsty"

so i peel myself off of my sweat-soaked sheets and stumble out into the kitchen, where by the light of the microwave clock i manage to find myself my favourite (and biggest) cup - a tin monster used to make milkshakes in normally. its sitting on the kitchen sink, i take a sniff and figure its clean, rinse it out under the tap for good measure. i then fill it to the brim, and top it off with a tray full of ice cubes.

i wait a while, let it cool off (since the cold tap aint exactly "cold" at the moment), before downing it in a few short seconds. i finish up, and have this strange taste/sensation in my mouth. i wouldnt say it was pain, but it was uncomfortable. i then felt something crawling on my arm, and i figured it was an ant. i turned on the kitchen light, only to find my arm and hand that was holding the cup covered in ants. i then looked to the cup which i'd placed back on the sink, and all i could see was this black, swarming throng of ants. they were after the water in the sink, which is what they do in this heat. i looked into the cup, and saw about 20 dead ants floating in the dregs of the water i just drank, and another 50 or so crawling all over the cup. i then realised that they'd been in there from the start, and i'd just swallowed a whole cup full of the little buggers. eh.

i shouldn't have done that...

I feel ya, stoph. I've done the exact same thing with a bottle of green tea.

[Lionsword]

I have so many things I shouldn't have done in middle school, I've lost count.

The most recent one is pretty dumb. I was visiting my cousins for Christmas, and they had a couple snowmobiles. (You know where this is going) Actually, one, the other was broken. Anyway, my cousin, my brother and I all ride down to this lake really close to their house. My brother, having a driver's license and being older than me gets to ride first, while my cousin gives me a "prep talk" and tells me what I can and can't do, namely, don't go over 80(km/h) and stay away from the edge of the lake, as the ice isn't as strong there.
So my brother gets back, I get on and peel away, dutifully going a measly 60. Keep in mind this was the first time I had ever solo driven a snowmobile, so I didn't have any experience at all. It starts off fine, I'm having a ton of fun racing around the lake and enjoying driving something that goes faster than 20km/h. Then the daredevil/idiot in me speaks up and tells me to have some fun.
Now, there happened to have been some other people who came out earlier, and had left tracks in the snow. Some of these tracks happened to be on a "small" hill on the banks of the lake. Me, being the grand idiot I am, decide I can take this hill, thinking, from my perspective, that it's pretty small.. I turn the snowmobile around and head straight for the hill, towards the shore and the hill, going pretty fast. All of a sudden this giant mound of snow rises up before me and I end up crashing straight into a snowbank, nevermind clearing the hill. I nearly get thrown off headfirst and the snowmobile gets stuck and took all three of us to get it out.
The snowmobile later broke down on the lake.

Man, did I get hell for that.

[Max Challie]

I have... TOTALLY done that. It was nasty. I broke my pinky finger when I was really little, when I was pretending to be a Power Ranger, getting all pumped up and punching and kicking the air, when I accidentally punched the outside wall of my garage.

When I was 3, and very much into my Batman phase, we were at the house of a friend of a friend. We were looking over the high dropp off the balcony, as i was considering leaping off as Batman. They talked me out of it, and i did so off a 2 foot deck instead. Gliding in the air as the Dark Knight would, only to land badly and break my ankle. My mother thought it was merely one of my attention-seeking drama plans, and put me in a big, quiet room for several hours until i calmed down..

[Saturns Gate]

I used to work as a cleaner in a local(ish) restaurant kitchen. The guys I worked with were talking about this house party that was going on the coming weekend, so I said I would go. Being as I had to bike (bicycle) to and from work because of the distance this would mean I shouldn't drink too much before I leave for the party.

Anyway, I began drinking waaaay before the party with my other friends who live right near me. Ya know, just to get a head start on the fun. Well I got my bike, piled in about 5 or 6 beers into my backpack and off I go, to the next village where the house party is. Its dark by now obviously, and when I mean dark I mean pitch black nearly (to get to the next village you need to bike through what we used to call 'no mans land' which is basically a stretch of road with a little footpath you could barely call a footpath due to its width and absolutely no lighting except from passing cars and trucks. So everything's going groovy, my eyes are adjusting to the darkness and soon enough I near the village, I just have to go down a long downhill path overlooking the motorway and I am more or less there. Now the stupid part, maybe it was a combination of being drunk and having just conqured 'no mans land' but I began to go down this big hill really fast. Then I take my hands off the bike and think its a great idea to go no hands down the hill at 30mph because obviously, I am so drunk nothing can stop me !

Then it happens, I spot some thick foliage sticking out from the side of the path as I am steaming towards it, now everything goes into slow motion. Brain thinks : SHIT! Hands think : well nothing, there hands. But they were too slow none the less and are a good foot away from the handlebars before the bike wheel hits the bush. The bike literally stops, I dont. Handlebars rip against my leg as my body goes flying over the bike. First time in years I had done a full somersault. Though this somersault I landed on my head and face a good 6 meters away from my bike. I kind of black out for a sec, my backpack lands near me and is ripped open, beers had fallen out and smashed onto the pavement dousing me in a spray of Fosters flavoured beverage. So i get up , one of my legs isnt standing right, but I have my bike which is barely making it, good enough to wheel me to the party. Of course, I have a near death experience and the party is my main goal. lol

I get to the party, everyone looks at me gone out. I see the mirror some girl brings to me, showing a pretty bloody scratched face. Pavement seems to had stuck in some parts of my skin and then I finally get a good look at my leg. The doctor I had to go to the next day said the bruise on my leg was not actually a bruise, but some weird name which I forgot because it was so large. It covered from near my crotch down to right near my knee. Thank God I did not hit the handlebars 2 inches north eh!?

Anyway, drink and biking in the dark to party's through a desolate no mans lands a bad idea. :)

[KEM720]

Hey cool, I have a lot of those moments in the mornings (like when you accidentally put the cereal box in the fridge and the milk on top of the refrigerator). :D

One morning, I went to grab an apple out of the crisper in the bottom of the fridge. I was still really sleepy and grabbed the first round object I could find and took a big bite out of it.

Turned out to be an onion.

[Pezz]

Anything and everything I've ever done that involved shots of Everclear and fire.

I don't know, none of those have ever ended poorly for me.

[Sekino]

About 5 years back, when I was working as a jeweller, we used to store most of the jewellery into a big safe overnight and take it out for display every morning.

One morning, I was carrying back some large trays into the safe and pushed the door to shut it. I don't even remember correctly how it happened, but my hand was somewhat hindered by the trays as I tried to get it out and I had the biggest brain fart knowing that the door would slam into it and yet not reacting... I did manage to move, but not quick enough, so the huge, heavy cast metal door slammed my left fingers against the frame.

I spent the next 45 minutes stomping in circles, crouching, punching- with my other hand- and cursing the most vile epithets I could stream together, even the Quebecer ones. Heck, I invented a few just to make sure it got vulgar enough to somehow help ease the pain. Looking back, it's hilarious remembering how my co-workers were all bunched together with this sympathetic/dismayed look on their faces but knew they'd probably get hurt if they'd approach me at that point. After that, it still hurt like hell, but I had to sit and calm down because I was getting faint and realized it was bleeding a lot.

I was really lucky because even though two nails fell out and my fingers were black for a few weeks, my hand didn't suffer serious damage (and my left hand is my drawing hand!); I only have a very small scar on my middle finger.

I knew the cursing would help! :)

[Ilaekae]

I am not going to go into details, but...

I should not be allowed near things that go "boom."

I should not be allowed near things that "look" drinkable.

I should never be allowed near anything that might possibly be converted into alcohol in some fashion.

I should not be allowed near potatoes...

I should not be allowed near ladders.

I should never NEVER by allowed near the driver's seat of any motorized vehicle, nor near any of the controls for said vehicle.

[Jason Rainville]

I should not be allowed near potatoes...


Boy howdy I remember that story. I never looked at leftover potatoes the same again.

[Sublimus]

While I can't say this is something stupid I did, I was there when it happened.

A few friends and I went camping in a state park one weekend, some of us of legal drinking age, some of us not.

Near the end of the night, when we were all good and drunk, a few people went off to the outhouse together. (I stayed at the site and fooled around with my GF in the tent).

We hear them coming back, and we hear the voices of two park rangers. As it turns out, one of my friends was pissing ON the outhouse instead of INSIDE it, because he saw a deer nearby and he was 'marking his territory'. Not only that, but he also had his shirt off and used the ashes of our campfire to put 'war paint' on his face, and a black hand print on his chest.

They had to pour out the alcohol before the rangers would leave, haha.

[Aphotic Phoenix]

I was too young to remember this, but my grandfather used to be a state police officer, and one day he decided to leave me in the front seat of his police cruiser at the car wash. Apparently he forgot that young children REALLY love to push buttons. Needless to say I managed to activate the "Emergency Call" button... XD

[KonnA]

I shouldn't have come into this thread and wasted time making this ironic statement instead of drawing =D

[AsaB]

Back when I was 17 I was seeing this guy, a senior at my school. We only went on a few dates but he was constantly texting me. But well, I didn't really "feel the spark" so I decided to end it. Via texting. I know that's endlessly lame and he didn't take that too well (both the abrupt split and the method!), but I was young and stupid :/ Besides, it was spring and he'd be out of school soon so I'd never see him again, right?

Wrong!

About a month later, I started working for the summer. It was a nice gardening job, in a group of maybe 10 kids or so. Guess who I see there? That's right. Him. Most awkward 3 months of my life. If only I hadn't ended it like I did, it might've been tolerable. So yeah, I probably shouldn't have done that!

(On the brightside, however, I learnt more about his character during that time and it absolutely erased any small doubts I had of ending it--a total idiot!)

[FraserMcT]

When I was 14 and in scouts, I was obsessed with fire. I did the whole 'spray deodorant on my arm and light it on fire thing', but hey, I never got hurt.
At this same stage I also put a very big firecracker thing in a cow turd, and me and my friend got splatted by little brown bits of cow pat.
But the most memorable one was when I was in my room, playing with an old lighter. I was lighting my fan on fire, then blowing it out. But I kept letting it get bigger, and eventually I couldn't blow it out. In my amazingly stupid (and starting to panic self) decided that by turning it on, it would blow it out. After all, fans DO make air.
It ended up with me being fire-bombed by melting bits of plastic, all up my arm and on my face. I shouldn't have done that, it hurt like a bitch.

[ImagineTheEnding]

Stupidest thing I ever did... no question.

My sister bought a slingshot one day, and we were slingshotting potatoes from our window at the subway. This wasn't the stupid part. Dad called us to dinner and when we were sitting there we noticed that there were some grapes on the table. She was sitting across from me, and with a grin on her face said:

"Why don't you slingshot a grape into my mouth?"



Once I got to this point I said to myself, "Oh boy. This is NOT going to turn out well."

Anyway, I have a lot of dumb moments in my life. Enough to where if you sit me down and ask me "Which one was the worst?" I would become stumped and only remember an event I did when I was 9.

Kind of like right now.

So I was young and being young I liked to play in the mud. This, of course, did not fly well with my parents since they didn't like spending their free time cleaning my sister's and my dirty butts every other day. So, they warned us saying that if we played in the mud again, we'd be in big trouble. Obviously, it wouldn't take long before temptation took over.

It was in a big mud pile near our back yard. We were playing in the mud such as we always did--mud covering our little bodies from head to toe-- when I got a dooming sensation throughout my body. I had to pee. Very badly.

Now I could just own up to the fact that I disobeyed my parents and pee in a toilet like a normal girl. No, I just couldn't get in trouble. Sitting in the corner of the room for "time out" was just not worth it. Getting in trouble was simply suicide. So, my sister , being the bossy little girl she was, told me to pee in the bushes like a boy. This idea came up because: 1. I did not want to take off my pants 2. We were elementary students and didn't notice major bodily differences between girls and boys 3. We didn't realize that when you are a girl pee goes down.

So, of course not only was I covered in mud, I walked home with my pants to my ankles, wobbling like a penguin. Nevertheless I learned to listen to my parents, the important rule that girls need a peemate, and to never listen to my sister again.

[Aphotic Phoenix]

Heh I just remembered this one...

Sometime last summer I was trying to help my parents with a bit of yardwork. One of unattended maple trees had grown a low branch that was inconveniently taking up some prime parking space, so I decided that I'd saw it off and free up a nice shady spot for someones car. How hard could it be? It wasn't much thicker than my wrist.

After getting most of the way through the offending branch, I decided that it would be easy enough just to snap the rest of it off. (No I wasn't particularly concerned about the health of that tree since it wasn't intentionally planted there in the first place). So I'm tugging, and twisting, and two thoughts pass through my head.
One (the voice of logic and reason): "You know, it would be much safer just to cut through the rest of it,"
Two: "Whatever, it'll be totally awesome to rip this thing off!"

In the end I did succeed, but not without getting whipped in the face by a big strip of green wood. I was glad no one was home to see that. It would have looked really strange to see me cupping my bloody nose with my hands while I was trying not to fall over with laughter.

Bloody nose doing yardwork? Maybe I shouldn't have done that...

[Spirit]

I've done so many little things which I shouldn't have done, I can't actually remember any of them properly! Although it doesn't really involve me, I have a funny story to share with you all...

Well my great grandma has recently been banned from driving. Yes she was still driving (and shes 92 this year)! Anyway, she is completely blind, can't even see anything right in front of her, so I have no idea how shes managed to last driving this long without having a single crash or accident. On this particular occasion, she was visiting me and my family, and after a few hours she left (she drove herself here).

About an hour later, my mum gets a phone call from the police saying that our great grandma has been stopped by the police and arrested because...
she was driving down the wrong side of the motorway.

How she managed to even get onto the wrong side I will never know, and how she managed not to crash into a single car, which were all going at around 60 mph directly at her, and she was going at about 80, is a miracle. We went to pick her up from the station, and she was instantly banned from driving. The next day she tried to apply for another drivers liscence xD

[plunder bunny]

oops double post

[plunder bunny]

i was waiting at a bus stop in my city, and a limo approached slowly and I could hear what sounded like rave/ dance music, so I immediately though that it was a bunch of stupid girls celebrating their 16th birthday, waiting to laugh at the poor pedestrain in the rain at the bus stop :er:.. so i decided to stick my fingers up and listen to their hysterical laughs come to a halt. >:D

But to my surprise it was actually a real limo, with some important looking men in shades and black suits in the back seat looking at me with their cold, dead faces.:$

the rave was coming from some guys fiat in the distance i think.

[gunnarsson]

this is kind of not a good story

our story takes place on a warm summer day a number of years into the past, the silky rays of sunlight danced upon the house walls and illuminated the leaves of the earthly sentinels we call trees, creating a favourable and positively commodious environment for man and beast alike. Bowlcut hair and hacknayed clothing aside it was an excellent day, so there I was, strolling down the walkway through the fair landscape of terrace houses. I spotted "the red plum tree" notorious on account of its plums beeing more bitter than an unemployed comic artist. In spite of my well mapped out knowledge of this vile shrub, I decided to fetch myself one of them unripe fruits. This was no dainty morsel at all! Foiled with my choise I kept walking, at long last reaching an intersection, obscured by towering cubecut thickets. If this was the works of the foul one I shall never know, but I stumbled right into the sight of a pair of the coolest and most ill-adviced hoodlums of the encompassing milieu.
The undesirable atmosphere and my insecure disposition had me strapped to come up with a fitting line. As the inner muscles of my oral estuary eventually started to form my words of choice, this cataclysmic plum was just then rolling about around the back of my tongue, as luck would have it. This lump of unholyness must have been the size of... something that is a little bit larger than ones throat, because I shall be damned if it did not get stuck there. Cause it did. I tread on past the young men, into the devine obscuredness of the hedges, not letting one sign of the vastly life-threattening predicament show. Now I was running, running like the wind! The pace in which I was running, was fast. I coughed and yelped for several seconds, it litteraly took seconds before my pharynx was yet again cleanced of any earthly impediment. As to this day, I have yet to strolled about with any unripe fruit or vegetable in my facial orifice again.
I hope this cautionary tale has brought you all a servicable lesson! thank you!:grandpa:

[LORD M]

Well, I accidentaly took a too large dose of laxative tablets when I was constipated some time ago, I first thought that one didn't work after taking it so I took some more. Needless to say, the whole weekend was ruined.

[VulgarDragon]

I shouldn't have blown so much money on video games. I don't even have the time to play them...what the heck was I thinking?

[gnarl]

I just smashed a spider, and blood from it squirted on my lip:x. Fucking sick.. Never seen that much blood from an insect. Really bright red blood.

[Jacob Kobryn]

I went on /b/... :[

Yeah, hey guys, I don't really feel like playing anymore...

[B-Man]

I called one of my girlfiends by an other x's name. That one was following me for a while.

[kRaven]

Ugh, yeeees, it's a chance to break the silence. I shouldn't have said that my sketchbook would be daily:nohope: and I shouldn't have joined a sketchbook support group.

[Falchion]

Bad decisions? Well, let's see... Disarming the mugger that way... Not eating lunch from a lack of time... Waiting until the last minute to finish my paper due-OH FUCK.:lounge:

[Baron Impossible]

Not sure if you can still get them, but back in my student days you could buy these tinned puddings that you boiled in a pan. Boil for 45 minutes, allow to cool, pierce then open. My mistake was boiling for about 3 hours, until the water had evaporated and the pan was black, then picking up the pan and peering into it. The tin, once cylindrical, was almost a sphere from the pressure inside. Luckily I was wearing sunglasses, on account of being a student, otherwise it could have been worse.

As it was, the explosion smashed my shades and threw them 30 ft out the door and down the hallway, sliced me open with several shards of metal and coated my face, and much of our kitchen, in superheated chocolate pudding. This caused first degree burns to the places on my face where I still had flesh.

Being a student I didn't go to the hospital, instead I splashed some cups of water in my face, tied a towel around my head and went upstairs to watch TV. Half a dozen of my housemates were there, drinking strong lager, so I joined them. Then we went over the road and spent the rest of the day in the pub. The scarring lasted about two years.

[Two Listen]

Wow I wish I'd found this thread sooner, this is better than the "cheer me up" thread.

Ok, I've got a couple.

1. First one. I was young, let's say maybe 7. I think I was watching Ren and Stimpy or something on TV. Our TV back then was sitting on this little cabinet thing, maybe a couple feet high, and I'd like to lay on my back on the floor right in front of it watching TV. Well one day I had a quarter, and while watching TV I was flipping it up in the air and catching it. I felt really fancy, because I hadn't missed it coming down once. Well, wouldn't you know it, flipped it up in the air one time, really high - and as a kid I'd open my mouth whenever I was concentrating on doing something epic like Michael Jordan doing a slam dunk or something. Well, missed the quarter.

Quarter fell in my mouth. Got stuck in my throat. It was not fun, as I started running around frantically running out of air towards the bathroom as my mother asked what was wrong - me obviously not being able to respond. I don't actually remember how I got it out, I just remember I was scared shitless. Shouldn't have done that.

2. Another scenario, same age, same TV - laying down in front of it. I'd sometimes prop my little kid legs up on the cabinet the TV was sitting on while I was watching. One day I started putting pressure on the cabinet, and it was wobbling the TV. I thought it was cool, and was trying to make it look like it was rocking like a rocking chair. 60lb TV fell off, fell on me. Got crushed. Didn't break anything, but I was sitting there with my hands and feel holding this thing up like an inch away from my face feeling like I was holding a boulder.


3. And this last one may very well be the best. I am the middle of 3 brothers. And once or twice a year we'd go down to Missouri to see my grandparents and such. Well we went down one year during the summer, and I had this toy. I don't know what it was called, I always just called it "Red Poppy Thing" because it was red and it popped. Imagine a 3 inch rubber, hollow bouncy ball that's been cut in half. Well it's just one half, and you turn it inside out and set it down, and it turns itself the right side out again and "pops" up in the air. Fun, huh?

Well, I discovered that the "Red poppy thing" could create a bit of suction, similar to a plunger without the stick. We were in the car and things were boring driving the 10 hours to Missouri. My younger brother and I were in the back seat, he was maybe...7, I was probably 10. Well I discovered this red poppy thing could stick to stuff with it's suction, we stuck it on the car windows, all sorts of stuff. And then I decided to see if it could stick to people.

I stuck it to my little brother's forehead and we decided to see how long it would stay. Well we waited about five minutes and it didn't come off, so I pried it off myself. And there was a HUGE 2 INCH BLOOD RED CIRCLE ON HIS FOREHEAD. Dead in the center of it. The suction from the "red poppy thing" had made the blood rise to his forehead - you know like when you suck on your arm as a kid? It did it in that exact circle. And it wasn't fading.

I started to panic, but nobody saw him other than us brothers in the back. I tried to very casually ask my parents where we had the baseball caps because my younger brother wanted to wear his. They asked why. And turned around.

I got in a lot more trouble than I think I deserved, that day. Though that giant red circle on my brother's forehead didn't fade completely for 2 months.

...shouldn't have done that.

[Ryan K]

I was play fighting with a friend when I was 16 - threw up a kick; he held on to my leg and I tried to do some Jackie Chan, bull-shit, horizontal spin out of it. I end going teeth first into the side walk (braking em), with him still holding my ankle up in the air.

"Why the fuck didn't you let go!?"

Worst part, I did it in front of a girl I liked, AND her mom... :(

[Crash]

I called one of my girlfiends by an other x's name. That one was following me for a while.

Hahahah thats funny.

My girls name is Hanna and when my nieces are visiting they are always yelling and calling her name, but to me it sounds like "MAMMA". And after a while i was in an conversation with my cousin and we were talking about whatever and maybe some personal things between me and my girlfriend.

But suddenly my cousin said "stop, you did what to your mother?".

Apparently ive said "Mamma" instead of Hanna during the whole conversation.


Freud would be stoked to talk to me...

[Black Spot]

I was about 13 and doing Judo. There's this throw where you place your foot in your opponent's stomach, lie back and toss him over your head - well I missed and placed my foot a lot lower and raised the guy with his entire weight on his balls. He didn't go to classes for 3 weeks.

Always thought it was a useful error to use on muggers if I ever encountered one, but I shouldn't have done it.

[Wooly ESS]

I grabbed a skunk.....

[TheDirtSyndicate]

some awesome stories here
i could fill this entire thread with stories from my past. haha, i'll just tell one for now.

i was at a party just a few years ago, downtown LA at this awesome loft that had roof access. there was about 150 people at this party, they even had 2 suicide girls pole dancing on the bar inside. well, there was this heavy set chick with big tits roaming around the party giving out shots of absinthe... with her tits. she'd put the shotglass down in there and you'd have to get it out...
fun party... until i fucked it up for everyone.
of course i couldn't resist the absinthe motorboat, i partook in that experience a few times too many, ended up wandering off on the roof away from the party, FELL THROUGH A FUCKING SKYLIGHT cracking 3 ribs.
party ended for 150 people in the blink of an eye. haha

when i have more time i'll share more.

[SavageGoldfish]

There was this tradition with the family back when I was very young dubbed "The Poisonous Potion", loosely translated from the Chinese term. My cousins, sister, and other younglings of my family would get bored after meals in a Chinese restaurant since the elders would talk for a long time. To alleviate the boredom, we got leftovers and other mixable items and mixed them all into a glass cup: tea, half-bitten dim sum, spit, ripped up tissue paper, and anything else that would truly make the potion "poisonous". We were simply amused by colour and texture changes and laughed at the resulting concoctions.

Ha ha, we called those things "band camp smoothies" when I was in middle school. Everyone at a cafeteria table would mix all the leftover mystery bits of thier school lunchs into one pile on a try, and then usually pressure one of the gullible kids to eat it.

I could fill volumes with stupid/rediculous stuff I've done. Nothing (thankfully!) quite as epic as some of the other mishaps you guys have talked about here so far....and I suck at storytelling, so bear with me.

Though most of the best stupid moment stories come from the time I spend with my amatuer-filmmaking friends. We've got a good camera, and a lot of talent, but no money, so we've usually ended up finding abandoned places to film. One in particular is a slate dump some ways out of town. You hike through the woods, and suddenly this enormous pile rises out of the sky. Kind of looks like Hell or something.

So we're trying to lug camera equipment, costumes, props, makeup, and a snack cooler up the side of this thing, which is probably over 50 feet tall, and you practically have to walk on all 4s to get up it because it's constantly sliding out from under you. It's about this time, with a heavy backpack on and a case in one hand, that I realize I'm wearing tennis shoes instead of the hiking boots I bought specifically for our hiking/filming expeditions, and the only pair of pants I own that don't have paint stains and holes in them.

We got up to the top (which stands way above the tops of the trees), filmed until the last possible ray of sunlight had been used, and in the twilight we packed up all our stuff. It was practically dark by the time we were heading back down, and needless to say going down was a lot harder than coming up, especially in the dark. Again carrying heavy bags, which knock your balance off even more--I thought, hey, since I've got no traction on my shoes, I might as well just slide down on purpose. Instead of doing a controlled snowboarding-like slide down the hill like I thought I would, I fell on my ass, slid down rapidly with bits of slate going up my shirt and pants, while trying vainly to grab ahold of something with my left hand to slow my descent, which only resulted in little bits of slate being stuck in my arm and under my fingernails as well. Fortunately I don't think anyone else saw -.-

[TASmith]

Here's a sad story. Something I shouldn't have done, but it's totally unfair because how could I have known?

So I was in college. A friend was worried about some cat in a shelter that was about to be put to sleep - cute, grey, long haired, adult cat. Reasonably tame. I got pressured into taking it, and for one week it was great. I invited this girl I liked and her younger sisters to see it, etc. That was one week while I was staying at my parents' summer house. Then I left for a week to play music with my dad in another state. For that one week I'd got a couple friends to agree to take care of the cat.

I get back, and where's the cat? Oh, well he ran out the door and we couldn't catch him, sorry. So he's gone? Uh... yeah. Well, I figure, whatever it's a cat. The wilderness on the Cape is good for cats, there's mice everywhere, he'll be fine, and maybe he'll come back. I'd hardly got to know the feline except the smell of his pee in my car, so I wasn't too attached yet to him.

Two weeks later, in the middle of the night, these friends of mine come back with a large, messy garbage bag. The first thing they say, "It isn't your cat, and we didn't hit it! We just found it in the road!" I'm thinking, regardless which cat it is, why did you drag it off a road all the way back here? I just stare at them and they say, "Don't worry, we'll bury it in the backyard." When I say yard, I mean a bunch of sand and beachgrass on beachfront property...

I say, "Okay, just bury it behind some trees so no one has to see it." This kid buries it - about ten inches down... It's just sand and he couldn't bury it at least a couple feet. So needless to say some dogs got to it in the middle of the night and left the scraps for the next day - when that girl I liked came over with her sister. Who went exploring in the "backyard"!!!

She winds up screaming about some dead zombie cat, and this girl lectures me that I can't even take care of a cat, and how pathetic I am... IT WAS MY FRIENDS!!!!!!

:(

[macabre]

some awesome stories here
i could fill this entire thread with stories from my past. haha, i'll just tell one for now.

i was at a party just a few years ago, downtown LA at this awesome loft that had roof access. there was about 150 people at this party, they even had 2 suicide girls pole dancing on the bar inside. well, there was this heavy set chick with big tits roaming around the party giving out shots of absinthe... with her tits. she'd put the shotglass down in there and you'd have to get it out...
fun party... until i fucked it up for everyone.
of course i couldn't resist the absinthe motorboat, i partook in that experience a few times too many, ended up wandering off on the roof away from the party, FELL THROUGH A FUCKING SKYLIGHT cracking 3 ribs.
party ended for 150 people in the blink of an eye. haha

when i have more time i'll share more.

Haha, oh man - now that's a party foul. :D

[zerdron]

I shouldn't have done that "who hates gays" thread.