"Don't Come Around Here No More" (Rikki Tikki Tavi Illustration)

[MarkHarchar]

Here is an illustration that I hope to be a portfolio piece for bookcover illustration. It is from the Rudyard Kipling's Jungle Book story Rikki Tikki Tavi.

[Kiolia]

I think the composition is working well. The snake looks a bit off (it's pretty skinny for a cobra, and the tongue should come out of the lower jaw).

[Velocity Kendall]

Riki looks great but Nag's head looks incorrect, and theres not much space for the title and author details.

http://www.naturephoto-cz.com/photos/sevcik/indian-cobra--naja-naja-2.jpg

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/12/photogalleries/biggest-cobra/images/primary/longest-cobra-pictures-1.jpg

[Juliter10]

The painting is good. The main problem is that the horizon line is too high for the way the cobra is towering over the man with the gun. The present horizon line looks like it's at least about mid chest to the man with the gun, and since the snakes head is well above that line...it makes for one big snake.

[Dahami]

So the mongoose chases off the serpent and the house and garden become overrun with rodents. A cobra is harmless until it bites you (unless it's a spitting cobra). I like the face of the mongoose, but the snake's head could use a little more work to make it more expressive and enhance the delineations between scales.

[HunterKiller_]

I like the composition here, too, but Juliter made a good point about the horizon line.

Ditto with the comments about the snake, also. It would be more intense if it's mouth was wide open, baring it's fangs.

[grenogs]

omg!! this brings back some memories, i had to illustrate this book a few years ago.

I like the composition on this, but i think the mongoose and cobra are a little out of scale to each other, also try working on your lighting to give more drama, remember its supose to be in india, with strong sunlight and deep shadows

[MarkHarchar]

Thank you all for the comments. It may be too far along to fix things like the horizon, but perhaps I can resolve it digitally before I add to portfolio. There are some good points made and I will endeavor to either fix them or apply the concepts to the next piece.

[Elwell]

Mark, I agree with the comments about the scale, but you can get away with them if you really knock things out of the park with the foreground animals. They need to be the stars, but right now the guy with the gun is, so we're thinking too much about the background and the questions it raises. Both the snake and the mongoose have to be exiting, interesting, and specific. Right now the cobra looks too much like a rubber snake. Buckle down and really work out those scales, don't just try to indicate them. We need to feel the muscular strength of its body, the hard texture of its scales, the menace of its fangs, the evil in its eye. For the mongoose, work on his edges so he really looks furry. He's the hero, so he has to look vulnerable, yet strong and dynamic. We should see fear in his eyes, yet also know he can triumph. Every decision you make in has to be about the life-or-death struggle between these two characters. It's all about swirling action, intensity, and peril. Remember Howard Pyle. Live in the picture.

[N D Hill]

I don't think the cobra's reads too well. The whole hood/head transition makes the hood look more like thick bulge in the snake's neck rather than a section it's body that's been flattened. Also, snakes don't have a single mandible like we do. Their jaw bones don't meet at the chin and have that horseshoe curve. If they did, their mouths would be quite rigid and useless for swallowing prey. The teeth on the snakes upper jaw look a little strange as well. I'm not quite sure but it looks like what you've illustrated is one oddly shaped fang from a misinterpreted reference photo. Cobra's have their fangs sheathed in their gums as the photo below illustrates.

I agree with what's been said on the scale and depth issue as well. The perspective of the walkway is a visual indicator that the snake and mongoose are enormous unless the walkway actually narrows, tricking the eye.
hope that helps a bit.

http://www.bio.davidson.edu/people/midorcas/animalphysiology/websites/2005/Koike/cobra4_2005nigri.jpg

http://www.skullsunlimited.com/graphics/lq-533a-lg.jpg