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View Full Version : Silly thread on regret


Jason Rainville
October 12th, 2008, 08:24 PM
So I was listening to some tunes on youtube and came upon this video -

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And even though the real meaning of the song isn't what I thought it was, I immediately thought about the singer lamenting "maybe I'll get you on another day..." and linked it to how easily I brush of people in my life that want me to do things with them. When I say no, they'll say "ok, some other time then..." but then it becomes pushed back further, and further...

My great uncle recently passed away and I only remember 2 times in which I met him.... and for the longest time he just lived down the street. Granted I'm not too close with my dad's side of the family, but he was a great fiddle player and musician. He was also very alone, never married and kept to himself. I think about all the times I could have visited him and learned from him, but I was too 'busy' playing video games and screwing around to think about it.

This is a silly example, but my sister's guinea pig passed away recently also. He was with us for 8 years though, and that's a good chunk of my life, so it was still sad. I think about all the times when he was in his cage, just hoping someone would come by and even pet him for a second. But for the last half of his life we grew tired of him and we were all happy just to shove food in his tiny cramped cell just so we wouldn't have to bother picking him up, loving him or treating him like anything other than a thing.

I notice now that I say no to people way too often, when my dad asks me to go to camp, when my uncle asks me to head up to the lake, when my mom asks me if I want to go visit my grandma. What if my dad has a heart attack? What if my uncle has an accident, what if my grandma passes away? What if my friends move away, or worse, stop hanging out with me because I'm too 'busy' with art?


Well I'm going to make a promise to myself that I won't miss the chance to be with the people I know and love. I get to comfortable with pretending to be 'hardcore' into art and so it warrants neglecting people whose presence I'll miss. I think we should take a good hard look at life and what it means to us, and MAKE the time to spend with people, to learn about them and from them.


Anyways, just had to let that out. Ima head to the cheer me up thread to boost my mood :)

HunterKiller_
October 13th, 2008, 12:42 AM
Duuude. That's too depressing.
Stop living in the past.

No matter what you do, you'll always have regrets. There's no point to deluge yourself in it.

Moai
October 13th, 2008, 01:25 AM
Duuude. That's too depressing.
Stop living in the past.

No matter what you do, you'll always have regrets. There's no point to deluge yourself in it.

It seems to me that he's learning from the past, not living in it.
Anyway, inspiring and meaningful message, Jason.

Grief
October 13th, 2008, 01:29 AM
regret and shame seem to get in the way of letting you appreciate the present and your ability to move on into the future.

you can change tomorrow, but not yesterday.
lament all you want, but in the end it's time wasted when the future remains open.

remember and learn from the path behind you, but do not dwell in it.

go listen to some death metal, eat beef jerky, and you'll be back on track.

aesir
October 13th, 2008, 02:10 AM
thanks for the reminder.

Jason Rainville
October 13th, 2008, 10:52 AM
Hah yeah I'm trying not to live in the past, but at the same time to forget where we've been betrays the reason we're traveling to our destination...

I just want to remember that people matter more than art, or fun times, or whatever... and even if I don't really feel like it, if I have nothing better to do time spent with family and friends is better than time spent looking for videos on the internet or playing megaman 9. I know some don't need that reminder but I'm especially thick.

Grief
October 13th, 2008, 12:15 PM
I just want to remember that people matter more than art, or fun times, or whatever... and even if I don't really feel like it, if I have nothing better to do time spent with family and friends is better than time spent looking for videos on the internet or playing megaman 9. I know some don't need that reminder but I'm especially thick.

a bit off from the original topic:

i used to think i could drop all my art, never lift a pencil again, and live a life of monotony if the circumstances for some unforeseeqable reason should demand it, for those i love.

but then found that if you devote your art to being an extension of your feelings for others that one will not trump the other. it can be the conduit to which you find yourself able to reach those you know on a more intimate level. have the art be an honest representation of who you are, and those you love will see it as a part of you.

its really absurd to think you'd need to divorce your identity to appease another. for if you did, those who truly love you would recognize the missing part of you.

starting a sketch-dairy is a good place to start to join both facets of your life.

Costau D
October 13th, 2008, 01:22 PM
I know exactly how you feel man. I have family always asking about me and how I'm doing, but for some reason I just never go out of my way just to talk to them anymore especially on my moms side ever since she passed away. It goes for anybody I meet at first as well. They ask me to do things and I always say no. It's like I'm afraid of it or something. I think I've been living in my own world for far too long, and I need to open up to people a bit. In a way your uncle you were talking about sounds like you years from now. I found if I also want my creativity to get better, and not just the skill or application of art I have to get out more and share experiences with people. Getting inspiration from games movies, and from other people on the internet who do live their lives can only get you so far. A lot of the artists I get inspired by seem to have more of a life aside from just concentrating on art. Of course, a lot of them seem to consume humongous amounts of alcohol, but still... At least they are doing with a group of friends.

Edit: I have to add a lot of other artists I get inspiration from are as healthy as an ox, and get outside.

Life doesn't mean anything unless you share it with people... That's what I'm learning now. I moved away from florida thinking it was a hell hole, for my own personal reasons. But, Las Vegas is just the same as any other place. It's all about what you do with your time no matter where you are. Actually moving out here though was a good change for me but not in the way I thought it was going to be. It does feel like I hit the reset button though.

Black Spot
October 13th, 2008, 03:16 PM
We all have regrets as to how we treated people at times in our lives. It’s never too late to say sorry if they’re still alive. Even to commiserate with those left behind doesn’t always assuage the guilt but we have to live with it however hard and learn from it for the next time.

Jazz
October 13th, 2008, 06:19 PM
Jason, you made me sad with the guinea pig story. :( We had a dog that was like that, except he was in the backyard all the time. I wanted to take him for walks, but he was way to strong and heavy and fast...so my Dad and brother wouldn't let me. After a while I would just look out at him.

Then some years closer to his death, I started going outside a few times to visit him. He was so friendly with everyone and all the animals! :( Always happy to see us, like he would still jump around joyfully, and then whimper when we'd leave. He died after a big hurricane we had; a couple days before Christmas; thankfully before the BIG snowstorm. He looked so sad lying there on his last days. :(

He was with us for 15 years. I so miss him...I wish I'd spent more time with Puppy.

And I do feel bad a LOT these days, because I don't spend as much time with the family as I want. Mom asks, "Who wants to play a rousing game of Scrabble??? :D" and we don't... But sometimes I feel guilty, like I want to say yes...but I really don't as much as she does. I just want to spend time with the family.

I also regret how I treated my little brother when we were much younger. I guess I was jealous of him. Now he's a rough guy and sometimes REALLY gets on everyone's nerves. But I'd wonder if it were my fault. So now I'm just try to be respectful when he wishes to do things and better himself. :(

Wow...this thread is making me wanna cry. Crap!! :( But the most I can do now is try to stop blaming myself for everything I should've done...it's really hard though. Sometimes so overwhelming that I was so mean or uncaring to others.