Pencil tests from my first year ahoy - Critique?

[Katezila]

I need to clean up some more things and clip together some sort of reel.
This is all from my Traditional Techniques 1 class. I'll be going into my second year of college this fall.

Our assignment here was restraint. Show a character running on screen and slipping within two seconds.
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This is from an experimental live action/2d animation short I havent had tome to finish
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mFzmqj90RPg&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mFzmqj90RPg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

And this is from a project I'm working on now with a number of students and graduates from my school, and our traditional teacher. We're pretty much doing pro bono for his studio, in return for getting free cel experiance. It plays really stiffly for some reason :/
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3erLlJt0wnA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3erLlJt0wnA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I'm really glad to see an animation forum here! I'll definitely be sticking around.

[ScaryPotato]

I can't believe no one has commented on your tests Katezila! I really like the last one, although the turn at the end seems a little abrupt. The motion on the middle one is probably my favourite, it all looks very convincing , good work! The top one where the guy is falling isn't bad either, but I think maybe it could use some squash'n'stretch on the impact to help it feel like a more substantial fall? Just an idea. If you have more, post it!

[iven]

Very cool stuff, I agree with you ScaryPotato I can't believe no one has commented on your tests Katezila

I guess this thread will take a while before the other Animators stack here in this new Animation thread !!!

I am Curious about you guys here, which Schools do you visit ?!

[Metalclay]

Ahh, sweet, love pencil tests.

cool stuff here, 'specially fond of the last one. Only thing that bothers me is how she makes her appearance, here departure is waaay better. Also, dunno but...the fryer seems to come out of no where? I know it's behind her, but looking at the first frame, she seems to just have her hand clenched with nothing in it, then in the next set of frames it appears to come out from behind her as if she grabbed it from somewhere, and wasn't there at the beginning.

Also, how many frames per second did you use? Overall, I liked it, I liked the movement on the pig-tails, very sweet. Awesome squash and stretch; very believable. Kudos on the facial expressions matching what she's doing too.

Oh, and were the lines behind her intentional? Like motion blur? Just wondering.

Keep us posted on the finished renders if you can.

p.s. take my "crits" with a grain of salt I have yet to even make an actual animation, in fact, I'm thinking about deleting this post. Hmm...I wonder if these animations should go in the "sketchbook" section of CA... o.0 meh.

[Onir]

Hey Katezila, beautiful pencil tests. I always love seeing peoples pencil tests, really gives you a great idea of their abilities and personalities to an extent. Great acting in all of these, must say I especially like the slipping one.

Crits, hmm; for the first one I would like to see it drawn out a little longer, primarily for legibility's sake. Of course you were required to do it within 2 seconds, so lengthening it at all would likely take you out of the assignment. Can't really see anything otherwise; great secondary action with the legs flinging upwards, and I love that you used the arms to break the fall (I animated someone tripping once and kinda forgot that people usually catch themselves when they fall, so my guy pretty much face planted right into the ground lol... didn't think about it until my teacher pointed it out too). Nice work!

To be honest it's a bit hard to see what's going on in the second one after a point (when she jumps off screen and pops up in the background). The acting is really nice though, and the holds don't break up the life of the character for the most part which is great. There is a slightly long pause after she initially looks around (might just be me) and she does appear to grow a little bit there as well. Otherwise lookin good!

The last one is looking really nice so far; nice cute, happy skip hehe. Not much I can really see to crit, though the frame of the high point on the initial jump looks a bit big compared to her initial size. Just nitpicking though :) nice job!

Hope I could be of some help; if you happen to have anymore work post it on up! Would be great to see :teeth:

[bleupencil]

I don't have any crits at the moment, but just wanted to say these are looking really good :)
Love the last two especially.

[Bendragon]

Very good stuff! Good acting on the characters. With the trip, it may be nice to see a bit more anticipation before the guy hits the floor. On the last one, I think the character changes size when she makes the first hop.
Looking forward to seeing how u progress:)

[Coinpurse]

hhaaarrararthats good stuff!

I hate nit picking, but I think the first one would have a much more dramatic effect on the viewer if the running sequence was a little longer. The crash and burn part can follow up ;)

where are you studying?

[cout<mecha]

Nice work, keep it up! :)

[airman]

nice!!!
i like it!!!

[JonathanS]

Awesome!

Bookmarked!

:hugsmile:

[senany11]

I'm really glad to see an animation forum here!

I'll definitely be sticking around.

__________________
makepolo (http://www.makepolo.com)

[taves]

Yea Kate, these are all some really lovely tests. Great movement and line of action. The second one has some particularly nice movement in the arms and the stumble. I know it's been awhile since you posted these, so they might be fixed, but I'll toss em out there anyway.

First one: Looks like his feet slide just a hair early upon entry into the screen, giving his fall, in my own personal opinion, a less impact. But really, that's bein nit-picky.

Second one: I really couldn't find anything worth mentioning cept cleaning and coloring it. haha.

Third one: You mentioned it felt stiff. I would rework her landing to her first jump - add some more squash and stretch for a bouncier impact. That might take some stiffness out. Either that or try taking a frame out at the arc of her jump - she might be holding a hair long, which makes it feel more pose to pose. But again, it's really, really nice so far. You should be proud of that - all demo reel worthy if cleaned a little more.

[JazzW]

Thought I'd pop into the animation section, and I'm glad I got to!! Woooow, seeing your animations makes me want to animate some stuff!! :D :D Nice work!! I know you did this a while back, but I'll just mention: I think I was hoping to see the tripping person's arms flail out or be in some position that it was clear they didn't think they'd be tripping in 2 seconds. I wish I had those reflexes you showed there. :D Such a cute and happy girl in the third animation!! The second one is nice and smooth!

[Katezila]

Oh my gosh I had no idea people replied to this! XD
Been busy with school and forgot to keep up with concept forums. I read through the critiques, thank you all! I'll respond when its not 5:40 in the morning and I'm right about to hit the sack.

[WhiteShadow]

Love the tests you did, and I don't really have anything to add all the other critiques, they pretty much hit the nail on the head.

So if you've been so busy with your school work, does that mean you have some new tests for us all to appreciate?

[Danuh]

Lovely tests *0*

As a crit I think the tripping man should have skidded just a little more forward when he hit the ground. Huzzah for scraped elbows~
The second and third tests are great too. Keep up the awesome work : D

[Katezila]

Hahaaa I do have new tests White-Shadow! (yet again with the business though) I'd like to be able to keep up with the forums during the school year, but alas. Looks like I took on one to many projects this year! I've done about 7 tests since I posted this that I think are worth posting, and I'm still finishing off some stuff too! Look for me to post a hoard of stuff mid-december, aaaand finally get a bit into critiquing.

I want to say thanks again to everyone's critiques. Its great to have a source of opinions outside of my classmates and teachers. I really appreciate every comment, even if I'm not able to fix all of this work to a better and better level (but then again you can always do that in animation!) I do want to respond to a couple of things specifically.

To those who asked where I go to school, its the College For Creative Studies in Detroit Michigan. We're a newer program (7/8 years old?) but we're getting stronger every day.

To Metalclay, please! Don't worry about critiquing if you don't have experience. I actually like asking non-animators (or people who just haven't animated yet!) for opinions, since they're often very different from an animators.

To Onir, Yeah I can see what you're talking about in the second test. To be honest its a piece I didn't get to refine much and would really like to revisit. I'll definitely be keeping your comments in mind.

taves: Actually I did happen to give her a bit more squish in the first jump, which did help! I think the majority of the stiffness came from the exporting though. It looks infinitely better on my computer pre-youtube

[ashess]

hey kat; very nice work; the drawing skill is exellent. you might want to work on your action- readability a bit.
for intance, the first piece, when the person slips, his feel slip in the direction he is walking now. his momentum and movement only change a little bit, thus making it hard for the viewer to see what is going on. if his foot were stop, and his whole body slide, or if his foot would move the opposite way, things would be a lot clearer. same with the others. the last is easiest to read, so I'll just note that one. the girl seems to make a jump and gets a ball from somewhere. where does the ball come from? if it is thrown to her, we should see her anticipate catching it, looking at it in flight, and more obviously make a grab for it. if it springs into excistence, you need to make things even more clear.
that's my 2 cence. great work overall tough! don't loose the love ^^

[kirpid]

you seem to have the fundamentals down. I'd like to see you aply them towards a narrative. be sure to post more on CA. and go darker.

[Stacks]

Really REALLY nice, they first one especially. I can't wait to see more! Hope you're having fun in second year!