Advice for a lost artist?...

[PearlPhoenix]

Hello

For a very long time now, I've been doubting myself more and more and I just don't know where I want to go now...

It's come to the point where I don't believe in people when they say "Hey, this picture looks great!" I just think "No, it's shit". I don't mean it...100%, maybe it's "ok" but it's not good enough for me and probably not good enough for a job hire. Shoot me now if I'm crazy yes?

Here...you can see my work... http://community.imaginefx.com/fxpose/pearlphoenixs_portfolio/default.aspx

Am I trying too hard to be versatile?... Am I holding back?? What am I doing wrong? Yes, I lack a lot of observation, I did not go to school, I'm trying to do more traditional art to understand color use better, yes I'm studying anatomy from books...maybe I need feedback from artists who kick my ass?

I really need some advice...because my confidence is playing hide n seek with me. Oh how cute..

Thanks :(
Marissa

PS- Please don't be offended...I'm just not satisfied with myself. Feeling very lost.

PPS - If you're a legally blinded artist like me (does not mean I'm totally blind and can't see) Please share your advice and experience dealing with this? Thank you

[Stoat]

Nah, don't be discouraged. Your work shows skills and a high degree of finish.

I don't really have advice to offer, but I didn't want you to see a kzillion views on the thread and no comments. That wouldn't exactly be a confidence builder :)

[Nrx]

you need to identfy individual strengths and weaknesses, i think if you can look at a piece and say yeah, that eye anatomy is really good, but i need to work more on noses, that will help you place your confidence. were as if you cant see each strength you know some bits are good, but overall it dosnt look as good as it should that frustrates you and then rather than risk looking like a arogant prick or a fool saying its good when it isnt, we just say its bad instead and that knocks our conficence.

Thats my theory anyway

[Call0ps]

dont worry man, we all think the same way, is never good enough, but thats also the fun of drawing/painting, is a never ending journey! when u think u got far, u will see that was only an inch on a mile until the horizont:P when u think the piece is shitty that only proves that u can go further! are u holding back ? i dont think so, u would if u stop trying... even the best of artist after finishing a master piece they critic their own work ( i dont know how many ofc, but a lot of them for sure ^^ ) dont get discouraged for it man, it can be frustration ( god know how much i get xD ) but then take a break and think, the biggest critic of your work its yourself, so u need to convince yourself even for a sec! and then for a minute and so on ^^ keep drawing and most of all keep enjoying!

[PearlPhoenix]

@Stoat - Thanks, I appreciate the thought :). I wish I could feel a little more happy about my work but something is damaging this confidence. Your work is great btw!

@Nrx - This is something I do a lot. I see a flaw, and I kick myself to work on it. Sometimes it's just so overwhelming but...I have to keep concentrating on that instead of taking a step back and seeing every bit of nit picking around...that ruins it. It can seem an eternity to get around to fixing everything.

@Call0ps - Thank you :) I feel the same way I just need to realize I'm not alone in this...it feels like a lonely world out there (emo, EMO!!!)

[worxe]

Maybe you should ask yourself why you practice art, rather than doubting every artistic endeavor you take.

Put yourself in the situation where you 'didn't know' how to draw or paint whatsoever, all the pictures you have done previously, gone or never made. Would you miss the work? is it worth the effort? You could just as easily take up a job in accounting or something, some people actually find that kind of job stimulating. Or you could take up a different field of art to express yourself for a while, I'm the same, I use to prefer drawing or painting, but didn't feel like I was accomplishing much, and instead I got into 3d modeling and scored cheap with a good institute, and since working with modeling I've been even more inspired to draw and paint because of it, even so much as to start a life drawing class at the college I'm studying at to keep myself busy at work and to help others. But why should I bother with this? two things;

- I get a kick out of seeing other people improve.

- Because its damn well worth it, Joe Bloggs down the street might not think so, but I reckon its worth it because I cannot imagine what I would be If it weren't for the struggles, pain, entertainment and fulfillment that art is.

In a nutshell, for you, is what you're trying to do worth doing?

[PearlPhoenix]

@Fafnir - I'd be extremely depressed if all that had been gone. I was never motivated into doing anything else but art. I have a passion for art and thus I want to make it my living as well. I practice to be more successful, to improve and enjoy this, to inspire others.

I really feel it is worth it....I just feel I'm taking too long to get to where I want to be. I'm not getting any younger you know?

[cmalidore]

I've been there, a few times. I've found that my art went in hurdles, where I learned a lot, then very little, then suddenly a lot and again - a little. And in those nooks of "little" it feels like forever, but you never know when that next leap will be into the visual unknown - and feeling too negative on it can hold you back from these moments.

Do what you can to forget the pressure awhile, remind yourself what it was that got you into art - and feel passionate and carefree for a few pictures to rekindle that forward momentum perhaps, it can sometimes get you through these "what the hell is wrong with me?!" moments.

Another thing is how you approach these things, even the wording we use when talking to ourselves can have an impact - don't look at things as "I messed up" look at these things as "here's something I can do differently". It's the same thing really, but one is really negative and for some people - that can be destructive to that forward action.

It doesn't sound like you want to give up - but perhaps you're making it feel like too much of a task, and not like a release of emotive content and imagination.


Often enough I've found that by ignoring the want for more skill and just focusing on creating a nice finished product - I sorta escaped a few of these moments. Some of my best images where when I didn't focus on moving forward.

[Naomi Ningishzidda]

as long as you're drawing everyday you have nothing to worry about

[PearlPhoenix]

@cmalidore - I think you just hit the spot with everything you said, especially this

"Often enough I've found that by ignoring the want for more skill and just focusing on creating a nice finished product - I sorta escaped a few of these moments. Some of my best images where when I didn't focus on moving forward."

I really do feel pressure and forgot how I was able to relax and just paint from my heart. It is just discouraging when I look back at my old images and thought "...why did people like this crap??! Are they just lying to make me feel better?"..but I know that's not true and I'm just being very harsh. I tend to forget that we all improve at a certain pace and we all have our flaws.


@Naomi - Thank you :) I'll keep drawing

Thanks to everyone who took the time to cheer up a sap like me heh.. I've just been very frustrated and need to chillax I suppose?... Seriously, if anybody can critique, I don't mind.

Again, thanks
Marissa

[cmalidore]

@cmalidore - I think you just hit the spot with everything you said, especially this

"Often enough I've found that by ignoring the want for more skill and just focusing on creating a nice finished product - I sorta escaped a few of these moments. Some of my best images where when I didn't focus on moving forward."

I really do feel pressure and forgot how I was able to relax and just paint from my heart. It is just discouraging when I look back at my old images and thought "...why did people like this crap??! Are they just lying to make me feel better?"..but I know that's not true and I'm just being very harsh. I tend to forget that we all improve at a certain pace and we all have our flaws.



Many of us have been there at some point or another - just keep drawing. Forget the idea of "I can do better" or possibly "So and so could do better". Just focus on creation and putting your heart into it. Skills aren't everything a picture needs - if you can't put some real love into a picture, it'll never feel as good as it otherwise would :).

If you have to, put those old pictures away, or just don't browse your galleries or wherever it is you have your work for awhile - it should just be you and a piece of paper/canvas.

[worxe]

@Fafnir - I'd be extremely depressed if all that had been gone. I was never motivated into doing anything else but art. I have a passion for art and thus I want to make it my living as well. I practice to be more successful, to improve and enjoy this, to inspire others.

I really feel it is worth it....I just feel I'm taking too long to get to where I want to be. I'm not getting any younger you know?

Yeah, I'm still trying to get use to the feeling of not getting younger, it started at 18 particularly concerning the level of work at that age being pumped out in the industry and my own attempts. The reason why I asked you whether or not its worth it is what cmalidor is getting at, forget the outside pressures of thinking you're not improving quick enough, it'll come on its own pace as you continue to draw, and don't let age become a factor.

If need be, going out and experiencing life is as important as practicing to be an artist, one side does not survive too well without the other concerning where art is more than just a hobby. Just as a random shot in the dark, try doing something a little adventurous, ever wanted to fly a plane or a helicopter? there might be a small airfield two hours out that has those services, something that'll let you get your mind off all the problems for a moment, scuba diving is another idea, or something you really want to do - a breather - to help get back into your work without frustrations.

[Jazz]

Hi!! You know, I've been feeling that way, myself. I admit to not putting everything into my work, because the confidence I have in myself has waned. Things is, if you feel that way long enough and let that feeling strengthen, your drive to do your art may just weaken, and you'll feel worse.

Everyone's said such great advice, I'll just add mine on and agree basically. Also, as I was legally blind (my eyesight's better these days), I can give you this advice: Challenge yourself DESPITE your visual impairment. Don't make it the big reason or excuse to those days when you just don't HAVE it in you. Certainly, it does restrict how you can go about doing your art in certain ways, but therein lies a new challenge for you to face! You do what you can to the best of your ability, and if you want to, go beyond what you think is your best ability and just go for it!

Thing is, you'll know when you need to be accommodated for your visual impairment, and sometimes you WILL have to tell others. But this is for art and anything else in life.

In my experience, I've been laughed at by friends because some pictures looked strange to them, just because I didn't have a handle on how to pose characters in relation to each other, and my anatomy and proportion skills were lackluster. Yet, I've worked along with people regardless of what traits they had. I've also had plenty of praise, from the time I was tiny and nearly totally blind to now. All the while, what I wanted to be, THAT drove me to continue, even with the laughter. :P

Yeah, so that's my advice for you! I'm feeling a lack of confidence so I must practice what I preach, but I really hope you keep your head up regarding your skills, or deep determined to continue working and playing artistically on your own terms! ^_^ Good success! Oh, and you have great pictures, I see! Plenty of stuff you need to learn, but it looks like you've learned plenty already! :D

[dark eagle]

It's come to the point where I don't believe in people when they say "Hey, this picture looks great!" I just think "No, it's shit".

Welcome to my world, but if your seriously doubting yourself I think the best thing to do is take a break. If you feel at loss with that high standard of work it can only mean one thing, boredom. For a while I forbid you to paint until you see beauty in your work(and go around some crappy art sites and you can mock them, because you really are better then most people).

I dont know if my advice is correct, change it to suit you, but I really do think your getting bored...

[Silvertone]

Negative thoughts will only give rise to more and more negativity, and your self doubt will only continue to snowball.

You need to start practicing positive thinking and reverse the trend you have been creating for yourself.

I'm not coming from just a motivational side her but a scientific one. Check out The Brain Fitness (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRldD_Z9l2s) program from PBS and see how you can apply that to yourself.

Change your brain.

[waranghira]

they say drugs does wonders.


shouldn't you be busy with improving?

[Blue]

Not everyone is meant to be Michelangelo. Just have fun with what you are creating and stop stressing that you aren't #1 in the world.

6 billion people on this planet (6,000,000,000) so no matter what you do, someone will be better then you, and someone will be worse then you. So again, just have fun creating. Most people will never know the joy of bringing something which only existed in their imagination to life.

[PearlPhoenix]

@JazzW - I don't like to state my eye problems because it does sound like I'm making up excuses. I don't like this assumption but if you're going to place me far away from something I need to read, then yes I will proceed to nag :P

But you do give good advice, thank you. Such a problem is not stopping me from making art so that's a positive. It's just annoying sometimes

@Silvertone - that is very interesting and I find this to be true. Thank you for the link :)

@waranghira -everyday I do practice (not drugs), doesn't mean I won't be doubting myself during the process :P

@Blue - Realistically I know I can't be # 1, there is no #1. I think about this to remind myself I'm being way too doubtful towards myself. Why I doubt myself? Because I'm worried about how I can get a job if I lack skill. It's not about being number 1 really. If I can do the job, that makes me happy.

@dark eagle - believe it or not that actually works LOL!

Yes, boredom! No motivation will also cause this stress. Especially when I do not see improvement or try something new in technique. But thank you everyone. I am feeling confident now and trying new things. last week was just awful, but this week is just great. : >

New music in the playlist is also nice too...

[Blue]

This is where I suggest more education. Goto workshops. Take classes and take part in community activities here on CA. If you're worried you can't get a job doing this, you need to meet more people with jobs doing this, to help guide the way.

The Mentoring Forum is a good place to start: http://www.conceptart.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=137

[PearlPhoenix]

This is where I suggest more education. Goto workshops. Take classes and take part in community activities here on CA. If you're worried you can't get a job doing this, you need to meet more people with jobs doing this, to help guide the way.

The Mentoring Forum is a good place to start: http://www.conceptart.org/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=137

nonono I'm sorry! I'm so vague when I speak.....

I meant in the past tense that I was really worried and doubting myself. I wanted to explain where my doubtful behavior came from. But much faith has been renewed.

It would be nice to learn these things though and how the process goes, so I'll look it up. Thanks :) This will be very motivating.

[PearlPhoenix]

Jonathan

Thank you so much, you are very kind. I appreciate your words :)
I realized the themes and promised myself I'd make the opposite of these emotions, though I'm not as passionate.

But I'll keep trying. I always like to do something new. This helps me stay away from boredom.

Again, thank you :)

[Blue]

I realized the themes and promised myself I'd make the opposite of these emotions, though I'm not as passionate.


Your passion is where your carrier lies. I'm happy to break the news to you, but if you try to do other things, you won't go far. At the Illustration Master Class the instructors made this abundantly clear, because if you are too diverse and too all over the place you will find it more difficult to find work (Irene said she and other art directors prefer artists who are focused and producing what they like. An artist who does a dozen different things doesn't instill confidence in them as to what final product they will produce). So if you must do 1 thing, do what you enjoy to do and have a passion for. Then, see where your work fits and pursue those companies. Your art may be more appropriate as a book cover of poetry, or fairy-tales. So why draw anything to impress other employers when there are ones who want the kind of work you produce?

Do me one favor. Goto your local book store and find a book which represents the genre you feel fits you best. It may not even be a book, but maybe a CD or something else. Look at the credits page and write down the art directors name and all contact info about the company. Call them up asking to talk to that art director, then try to send your work to that person. Take any critique they give you with a smile, and work to improve exactly how they say. Keep in touch with them and keep sending them your work (no more then once every 2 months). You'll notice that once you reach the right level for them, you'll be offered a job.

"Determination is more important then skill" - Boris Vallejo.

Hope this insight helps :)

[PearlPhoenix]

Your passion is where your carrier lies. I'm happy to break the news to you, but if you try to do other things, you won't go far. At the Illustration Master Class the instructors made this abundantly clear, because if you are too diverse and too all over the place you will find it more difficult to find work (Irene said she and other art directors prefer artists who are focused and producing what they like. An artist who does a dozen different things doesn't instill confidence in them as to what final product they will produce). So if you must do 1 thing, do what you enjoy to do and have a passion for. Then, see where your work fits and pursue those companies. Your art may be more appropriate as a book cover of poetry, or fairy-tales. So why draw anything to impress other employers when there are ones who want the kind of work you produce?

Do me one favor. Goto your local book store and find a book which represents the genre you feel fits you best. It may not even be a book, but maybe a CD or something else. Look at the credits page and write down the art directors name and all contact info about the company. Call them up asking to talk to that art director, then try to send your work to that person. Take any critique they give you with a smile, and work to improve exactly how they say. Keep in touch with them and keep sending them your work (no more then once every 2 months). You'll notice that once you reach the right level for them, you'll be offered a job.

"Determination is more important then skill" - Boris Vallejo.

Hope this insight helps :)

I can see why you were happy to break the news to me! lol
All this time I always get the message "YOU NEED TO BE VERSATILE, NOT A 1 TRICK PONY". Yes I understand maybe ..80% of that but I often mix up the message. If I were just making portraits, I would be so bored...I like to give characters their bodies and environment, but the themes I do...I just can't get enough of it. I love what I do, really, it's my crack :P!

That's something I'm told a lot, that I'd make for a good book cover artist, or poster making. That's good enough for me!

Thank you so much for giving me a direction to follow. I won't be so lost anymore :)