Art vs Social Life

[Mescher]

So, lately I've been finding myself having to choose between art and a social life a lot more.

I'd just rather be drawing. I either feel like I'm neglecting my friends for art, or neglecting my art for my friends.

I'm hope this will get better when I start at CCAD and meet some people who actually like art. But am I just supposed to kiss my current friends goodbye until then?

I mean I like them and all...I just can't take another round of guitar hero. They all have the "it's summer and we should be hanging out and doing nothing EVERY DAY till school starts" mentality.

Am I being selfish? Anybody else have this problem? Please tell me it gets better! :bashful:

Pleeeeease...I can only watch Donnie Darko so many times! :rolleyes:

[Brushcommander]

I'm in the same situation actually. Right now I'm "losing" my friends because we don't share the same interests anymore. I rather work my butt off than just "hanging around" though it's not like I don't see them anymore. I still go out for a beer about once or twice a week with them but I find less and less to talk about. My head is filled with art unlike theirs and I see where this is leading to.

But whatever, art has top priority. You know, they can waste their time as much as they want.. but without me. I just hope that I will meet other people like me in the future and until then I'll run around friendless.
sounds pretty emo lol

[wheezy]

Take your sketchbook with you for some life studies, maybe get some ideas on something bigger to do later. Draw them playing guitar hero. If they are really your friends, then they already know you are into art etc. and will be cool with you doing that. Don't shut part of your life out because of art, let them help enrich your art even more by expanding your perceptions of what is around you.

[Elwell]

Everything in life is about balance and trade-offs. You've simply reached the age when you have to start making those decisions yourself, rather than having them dictated by parents, school, etc.

[Naomi Ningishzidda]

i've said goodbye to a lot of "friends" over the years. Especially people who don't teach you anything, who keep complimenting your art but never actually buy any. Get rid of these people fast. Do not hang out with them do not do free commission work for them.

Get rid of non-artist friends who put you down.

Now if your friend is an artist you have an advantage by working together and improving your art. there is no reason to neglect your chit-chat and shoulder to lean on duties there.

Also get rid of boyfriends or girlfriends who don't support your art dreams, or people who think you're worthless because you do art.

this includes family. No matter what they say, your family can always be cut off. If they are bringing you down get rid of them.

Another thing I must say, is if you find yourself spending more time with your friends than with your art, maybe you should think about ditching them as well.


And people who forget your birthday - fuck them

That's what I learned, but of course, I'd be lieing if I said I follow all of these rules...

[dark eagle]

Isn't there anyway to keep both the same, if you spend a whole day doing art then spend a whole day socializing, anyway its better to take breaks rather than work like a machine all day long everyday productivity comes in puulses unlike a river which keeps and keeps on flowing until the water runs out.

[nickmarshallvfx]

I had to make this sacrafice. Unfortunately it doesnt ever stop, although it does get easier. I lost touch with all my mates during college, but then they were a group who had very different goals in life anyway.
Now that im at uni studying for my Bachelor of Arts, im surrounded by people who have the same interests and aims. As a social event instead of going out and getting pissed like my old mates did, we might go sit in the park on a nice day and draw the people that pass by, or the scenery around us etc. I still have to forgo the occasional social event because of work, but my mates here understand that.
As a funny side note, im home from uni at the moment, and after seeing Kian from there forums lived in the same area, i got in touch with him, and now we get together every week or so for a few drinks, and can talk art for hours and hours, so its always great convo.
Unfortunately with a girlfriend in the mix, things can still be difficult to juggle, but sometimes you have to make some sacrafice too...

Nick

[Justice Von Brandt]

Staying in the house and drawing is more enjoyment than hanging out with people, but that's just me.

[Mescher]

Now that I think about it, I don't really like my friends as much as I used to. That's probably part of the problem.

My boyfriend doesn't mind letting me draw him all day, and he's the only person I really care about. He actually said he'd go to the zoo with me so I could do animal studies. I think he has nooooo idea what he signed up for!

Anyway, collective thanks!

I guess I'll just have to get used to keeping a balance (and figuring out what I actually want.) I can't have my cake and eat it too, right? :p

[J Wilson]

My guideline is simple. When I feel like hanging out with friends I do, and when I feel like doing art I do. Sometimes there are friend events that are important enough that I go to them either way, and when there is an art deadline I put my nose to the grindstone and get it done whether I feel like it or not.

The point is that I don't make a hard and fast decision either way, I just let the moment decide for me as appropriate. My truest friends accept that is just how my life is.

Do what is best for you 90% of the time, but be flexible enough to be there when your friends are really counting on you.

[Jushra]

There's a book I had read entitled 'The Virtue of Selfishness'. The title is a bit of a put-off it seems to most, but inside there was a wealth of knowledge to gain. Nobody can tell you how to live your life except for you and nobody will bear responsibility for any of your actions but you. Don't try to control your peers and don't let them control you. You have to keep what you value close. Choosing your values is another story though. Don't sacrifice yourself to others, nor sacrifice others to you.

As Elwell said, you have to sometimes trade-off for balance, but make sure it is done for the right reasons.

[Musselfarmstudios]

I draw a lot of my inspiration from my friends. They aren't into art but they enjoy going on research trips with me. We often hit the countryside, or hit some of the bigger cities and walk around the downtown areas as I either draw or take photos, we've even gone out shooting at the rifle ranges on many occasions . . . just so that I could experiance what it's like to know what it feels like to fire real weapons.

I also arranged my work schedule to where I don't really do any serious work until late at night . . . usually after 10:00ish . . . I like keeping the "crackwhore hours" so I could spend time with friends . . . I also have specific days set aside where I dedicate to nothing but hanging out meaning friday and saturday the only thing I might pick up is a camera.

Long story short . . . it's all about knowing how to set priorities . . . right now it's learning how to prioritize friends . . . next it will be spending enough time with the wife and kids, if you can't prioritize friends, then how are you going to prioritize family?

[Ilaekae]

"My boyfriend doesn't mind letting me draw him all day, and he's the only person I really care about. He actually said he'd go to the zoo with me so I could do animal studies. I think he has nooooo idea what he signed up for!"

Mescher, buy your BF an inexpensive but decent camera. He might suddenly find one more reason to do what YOU want to do...

[Meister Jazz]

There's a balance between hanging out and staying in and creating. they both have their merits and importance, but it's best to socialize with people who will be there for you when you're ready to be more social. see who seeks you out later on, they are your real friends. see who appreciates what you create.

[waranghira]

I think of it as a leveling-up game (which I hate now, BTW)
The more time you devote to good practicing and evaluating, the faster you improve.
That's why late bloomers in this field should put more effort to catch-up.

And if you don't have an artist friend, you won't be worrying about that in Art Tertiary Education.

[km]

i've been dealing with this a lot lately... still coming to grips with the fact that i have to leave all my friends... actually its been like that for about a year now but i just really started dwelling on it.. ive told most of them already that i'm moving away for 4 years too school, getting my life together, working, saving money for res,tuition, and supplies, trying to improve my art so that i'm on par with the other students, and have no time for hanging out (pretty bluntly too) my exact words were "i have no time for friends anymore"

out of all on my friends, only one of them truly understands and supports my decision, just because he's in a similar situation, he's an artist as well

it really sucks but i don't even have fun with them when i hang out anymore, i feel like i'm stuck in limbo and should be doing something more productive other then getting drunk or playing video games.. theyre great people but i just feel like i need to be productive..

when i do hang out, its with this artist friend, and well go grab a coffee, catch up, sketch, and go home, all in about 2 hours..

it's a tough decision, but youll make new friends with similar interests.. i feel like i need to surround myself with people who care more about their futures, not just what to do on the coming weekend



so to answer your question "art vs social life"
i choose art

art will pay for my house, car, and family, and also allow me to work hours that suit me more, can't imagine doing a 9-5

social life just puts me more in debt than i already am... i'm sick of being broke

and also

The more time you devote to good practicing and evaluating, the faster you improve.
That's why late bloomers in this field should put more effort to catch-up.

i'm a late bloomer, which makes me more anxious to improve

[~Faust~]

Yes, art all the way.

In the beginning, it's a hard decision, I had a lot of misunderstandings with my friends and family that time since the drawing came out of nowhere and I mostly earned blank stares when I asked them how they'd like my drawings. haha, I guess that's what you get from being a "late-bloomer" (I like the sound of that)

By now, though, family and friends and generally people are a lot more understanding towards me chosing art, since they see my dedication and the progress I made, so the social life isn't really that much of a problem anymore. It is a lot about your own confidence in reaching your goals, too, when you talk about what you do, you earn respect if you do it passionately.
Then again, I always try to avoid the slackers-type and never was one of those binge-partiers.

[AsaB]

I don't think it's necessary to shut your friends out completely, but surely you don't have to 'hang out' so fiercely every day? It has been said, but bring your sketchbook when you meet your friends and sketch them. Doesn't everybody like to be drawn? That's my experience, anyway, take use of that! If subtly trying to meet them less fails, then simply talk to them. Good friends would understand. If not, I'd really think about your friendships, what you're getting out of and if it's simply worth your time. Follow your heart!

Thankfully my friends and boyfriend are all very understanding about me spending time drawing, but I can definitely see how this would be an issue if it were otherwise. If this is your passion, you shouldn't let other people stand in your way. Just be a little tactful when approaching them, though :)

[Mescher]

There's the problem right there-- they don't understand. When I draw them while we're hanging out, they think I'm ignoring them or that I'm trying to be antisocial. (I dont understand how I can watch a movie and be okay, but then watch a movie with a sketchbook and be "neglecting" them.)

I'm gunna chalk it up to immaturity.

I just think it's like Elwell said. It's time to grow up and take some more responsibility for who my friends are..I shouldn't let them make me feel guilty for having goals.

I'm really glad everyone has similar experiences and I'm not just being a selfish yahoo!

And yes, that's an awesome idea. I am totally buying my boyfriend a camera! :P

[dwilliams]

Social lives are overrated.

[Flake]

Most professional models won't work for beer, keep in touch with your friends.

[bhanu]

I parted ways with many friends for arts sake, mostly the sort who just hang out after school doing nothing but chatting and stuff.
Have just a few friends, whom I meet and chat with now and then, dont need more...
n I Agree with Elwell.

[s.ketch]

Make friends with people who draw instead of people who hang out all day and goof around. Problem solved. You have friends with whom you can relate and they understand that you must have drawing time. Plus you all can feed off each other's creativity and learning.

[Xeom]

i say 3-5 hours a day isn't to bad.In a 16-18 hour day thats barely 1/3 of your time.

[Bill]

First off, if you're going to CCAD you're going to be in good shape on this front. I graduated from OU and took more classes at Kent before getting some hours at CCAD and CCAD is a whole different game. I randomly went went for a walk past the place one day this Spring and ended up sticking my head in a door where C.F. Payne was talking to John Foster. On another day I got to shake hands with John Palencar. Stuff like that doesn't happen in most places. That place is cool. SOME of the students are crazy motivated (and succesfull) as well and if those are the types that you think you'll identify with I'm sure that that will be there for you. Of course there are actual CCAD grads on this board who would know much better than I would about that.

On the other hand the friends I have in Columbus are all "Civilians" ( <non-artists) who I know from OU. They are all great people who couldn't care less about artwork so instead we talk Buckeyes, play poker and I'm pretty much the favorite "honorary" uncle of all their kids. And believe me, having non-artist friends who turn out to be attorneys, accountants, financial advisors etc. isn't a bad thing. I do know what you're talking about, being the only art type in a room full of convential types can be isolating at times but if your friends are good people then I would say that distancing yourself from them intentionally would be unfortunate. You'll only meet so many good people in your life. Besides, art isn't your only interest is it?

Go to the Zoo and draw, be glad you have friends to hang out with when you get back. My 2 cents

[Nuthien]

Some people think that a solid friendship means hanging out together almost everyday.
Fortunately, over the time I have found nice people who don't mind hanging out just once in a month (or even less). They also have other priorities in life (one of them studies music, the other is studying to be an investigator, and so on) and hanging out with them is always fun and pleasurable. I know I can always count on them, no matter how much time we had been separated. This is what friendship is about, I believe.

[Rabid]

CCAD huh, wonder if they have a decent Master's program. Always in the mood for another ;)

Anyways, to get to the point. Model your friends around your artwork not the other way around. If they can't deal with your hobbies then f%$k em...
How about you complain back at them about guitar hero the same way. Then maybe they'll understand your just an addict on a different (and IMO far more constructive) drug....

[Musselfarmstudios]

I think it's wise to maintain friendships with those outside the industry. Thing about Art is the fact that like writing or any other creative field its about sharing gained experiances.

Take Ernest Hemingway . . . dude was a kickass writer, who went out and experianced a lot with his friends . . . not all of whom were writers. You write or draw what you know . . . and basically if you spend all of your time drawing but not finding and experiancing things with your friends, then aside from having technically awesome drawings . . . would the content be worth looking at? Art and writing is about capturing lifes moments and if your not living lifes moments . . . then what are you left with?

Again it's a matter of being able to balance work and home life.

[Taj]

I think its a bit pretentious to get rid of people just cause they aren't artists...

[Thanasimos]

Will your art lose relevance when you lose contact? If your only friends are artists, doesn't the art turn into a sort of circle-jerk?

But who am I to talk? I'm in no such bind; my friends and I don't get together very often.

[tomwaits4noman]

if they are your friends they should realise that they are not the be all and end of your life, if they want to get wasted or waste all day then clearly you have different priorities, its a balance,

its not healthy to send your days in a darkened room hunched over a drawing board, in the same way that hanging out all day does not achieve muh you have to set boundaries let your friends know that you have a certain amount of time set aside to work on your art is.

If they can't respect that or understand it and are selfish in that respect then they are not really good friends.

[Mescher]

I don't think people mean they "get rid" of their friends because they aren't artists. I think they mean their friends don't understand and/or try to "compete" for their time.

Your friends should be there for you even when you don't want to spend every waking hour with them. If friends are so needy and dependent that they can't stand you have some other interest or hobby besides them, then it's probably not worth it.

My question was really only concerned with 2 of my "best" friends since grade school. I'm 18 and I'm at that age where I'm going to grow up and move away and make my own decisions; and they just aren't ready. I'm not "getting rid" of them because they aren't artists. I'm just taking more time to focus on myself and my own goals instead of having arguments about how a sketchbook isn't distracting me from their attention.

(And by the way I guess I sorta answered my own question, didn't I? It's still really interesting to read about everyone else's experiences with this.)

[Ilaekae]

Shoot them and bury 'em in the backyard before you leave. Solves everything. :P

[ALH]

I'd just rather be drawing. I either feel like I'm neglecting my friends for art, or neglecting my art for my friends.




While i havent had this problem concerning friends ( my social life is so nonexistant that hanging out with anyone is a rare enough occasion to warrant an art break ) I have suffered from a similar problem of feeling guilt when not drawing, and slightly..'cabin fever' ish when spending too much time working.

The one thing people have told me to do in this situation- and that i'll pass on here because its awesome advice- is to find balance. Dont overwork yourself with the art- dont become a hermit unless you have a SERIOUS deadline grind. Relax, play some vidya games - but at the same time, dont neglect your studies. Remember that you dont always need a sketchbook to observe life- if you are in a situation where drawing would seem 'anti social', use the time and the experience to take some mental snapshots of your situation. You never know when they may come in handy.

I personally got rid of my guilt by getting back into a study cycle ( which i had neglected due to uni projects munching up all of my time.) If you feel you have learnt or achieved something for the day it is easier to chill out. Set yourself goals and dont let yourself slack off and hang out until they are done.





They all have the "it's summer and we should be hanging out and doing nothing EVERY DAY till school starts" mentality.



I miss this mentality, it was a nice mentality ;_;

[Saturns Gate]

I agree that with deadlines you dont have much choice but sit that ass down and draw like some kind of frenzied animal, but when deadlines arent looming, sure its fine to take breaks but do it because your body is telling you too, or your mind if your totally drained. If you honestly feel fine hunched over a desk drawing away I dont see the problem with it. Gotta go, backs playing up again. ;)

[Ssimulacral]

Saying "i must do 3 hours a day"doesnt work - if you feel you need to do more hours, then you should follow your creative urges, even if it means sometimes not going to the pub - however its good to make yourself be a little sociable otherwise you run the risk of forgetting come to communicate with people!

[Smarty]

I go out to socialise alot, I mean like everyday.... but i surprise myself on how much you can fit in a day once you get the ball rolling.

just surround yourself with the right people. People who inspire you to get up and go.

Neither one has stopped me from doing the other. most of my close friends are creative types but not illustration (what i do) but it just feeds me more to have some good input from passionate people.

[worxe]

Sacrificing a social life for your artwork, while at first may seem like a admirable goal, is like shooting yourself in the foot in the long run since you will likely run into trouble when it comes to the other very important aspect to art, selling yourself, because you will have to deal with people - like clients - on a social level to pay the bills.

Besides, I wouldn't want to work with people who have shitty attitudes as a result of it.

[RadiationSky]

To be frank, if you really want to pursue art.. pursue it as fast and as hard as you can. Life is really terrifyingly short.

A real friend will get over the fact that you are seeing them once or twice every week or so. You may even find, as I have, that those events when you do find the time to get together are MUCH more valuable and fun.

After all, would you rather leave behind a legacy of amazing art and accomplishment.. or just a bunch of memories of being the best player at a game nobody will care about in 4 years?

The decision is obvious! :painting:

[Blue]

I think its a bit pretentious to get rid of people just cause they aren't artists...

I agree, but I have to say this happened to me. key words are "happened to" and not "I chose".

I think the more you get into your work, the more you goto conventions, workshops and make art your universe.. the less your highschool buddies will have in common with you. You more lose touch then just cut them out of your lives.

Personally my only 'normal' friends are my girlfriend and her friends. The rest of my friends are fellow artists, or my "artsy fartsy" poetry friends. :) Basically, my circle just evolved into people who find what I do interesting, because I talk about it *alot*.

[Costau D]

I resort to the I,Ching to help with these decisions. Either that or a coin flip.

[eminkey2003]

"Too much of anything is a bad thing", "moderation in moderation", and whatnot. If it gets too complicated, I try not to think about it so much.

[chaosrocks]

thinking is the best procrastination I know. along with IRC and games os "6 degrees of wikipedia" all will kill social life.
unless , of course you include these things as social life.
and there is a point to be made here
of course if your social life involves hanving aroung on forums and in Irc chatrooms you are socializing...

sort of
you are also a geek anda nerd jsut like the rest of us

:P
roxie