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The Devil's Red Rose
June 1st, 2008, 11:15 PM
I am a beginning level draftsman who wishes to become a painter someday. I am posting my work because my teacher Ron Lemen told me I should post my work for critiques. So please critique my shit and give it no mercy.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2178/2543826548_fe5bbb8470_b.jpg

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2020/2543011607_888f69ba1a_b.jpg

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http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3100/2496761616_beb2ea5fee_o.jpg

Please visit my blog at http://thedevilsredrose.blogspot.com/

Xezor1324
June 2nd, 2008, 12:25 AM
Try making about 10 different values instead of just 5. The studies look great! But when you put them all together your faces look strange. I'd practice facial feature placement on the head. Keep up the good work and welcome to CA :)

panchosimpson
June 2nd, 2008, 03:23 AM
use construction to build your figures, right now your figures look flat because you're thinking two dimensionally and copying what's there...try to think three dimensionally so that your the heads are better conceived. When executing full figures, use cylinders, boxes, etc. In these heads, the planes are of the utmost importance, lips rest on a cylindrical form, like a can, and eyelids go over a sphere.

The Devil's Red Rose
June 3rd, 2008, 03:54 AM
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The Devil's Red Rose
June 3rd, 2008, 04:04 AM
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sfa
June 4th, 2008, 04:52 AM
Hey man,

This is Sherwin from class. Good start to the sketchbook and great job on the Bargue studies.

The noses on the two portraits in your first post are too long. Remember the rule of thirds:

From the hairline to the brow = from the brow to the bottom of the nose = from the bottom of the nose to the bottom of the chin
Don't be afraid to use the Reilly method to fix placement of facial features if things aren't lining up in space. Always be aware of the tilt of the head and carefully draw each feature with it in mind. Some of the facial features in your portraits are going in different directions.

Generally speaking for portraits, leave the angular lines with the males and use more S- and C-curves to describe the contours of the females. I think I see Jennifer in a Egyptian get-up near the bottom. Curve her chin out - it'll take years off her face. It's OK to idealize the model a bit.

There's evidence of "chicken scratching" here and there. Don't search so much. Be more confident about your mark making. Make a bold statement and commit to it. If your lines are off, no big deal. Erase and try again. Try to be as clean as possible.

Some of your tonal shifts are getting messy. Clarify your core shadows. Practice laying down areas of tone evenly. One thing that really helped me was watching the folks at Watts do it. Some of them line their index finger along the shaft of the pencil near the tip and apply tone on the downstroke. I get good results that way too.

Keep going and I'll see you in class.

The Devil's Red Rose
June 5th, 2008, 02:52 AM
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The Devil's Red Rose
June 5th, 2008, 02:53 AM
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Art_Addict
June 6th, 2008, 05:47 AM
Not bad.

Some things to consider about the structure of the human body; the body is always full. So make sure your contours are convex, not concave. Don't scoop out your figures.

Be careful with straight lines. They don't really exist in a healthy human body, every form is curved to some degree and some taper, like arms, fingers, legs, etc.. Which also means there's no symmetry... don't draw the 2 sides of your forms parallel to each other.
The same thing counts for the form shadows... make sure they don't line up with either side of the form. The body is always irregularly curved, not curved like a cilinder.

Keep it up!

Jasonwclark
June 6th, 2008, 04:04 PM
I'd like to help, but I can't see most of the images (they are showing up as little red Xs for me.) Hotlinks to an outside image host will usually go dead after a certain amount of time, or bandwidth (depending on which service it is) which means that others here might not always be able to see your work

Instead of linking to Flicker, just click the "manage attachments" button when you make a new post and upload the images directly to ConceptArt. You can also edit existing posts to do the same thing. This way you'll have a permanent archive that won't dissappear on you. :)

Main Loop
June 6th, 2008, 04:14 PM
It's shit.

I'll call it that until you stop calling it shit. Have some more respect for your work. You might not get how good of advice this is until later, but trust me, it is.

The Devil's Red Rose
June 13th, 2008, 03:13 AM
I can't upload some of my images now. Please go to my blog at http://thedevilsredrose.blogspot.com and comment