What do I do now? (warning: downer)

[gtgauvin]

I hope you'll all pardon my self-indulgent whinging and anxiety, but I've been really wound up lately. I'm looking at where I am in life, and I'm worried about the future. I'm almost thirty, living in Japan and working as an assistant English teacher, with a long-distance marriage to a newspaper reporter in Taipei. I studied fine arts and illustration in college, and ended up with a degree in painting. My focus has changed somewhat over the years, but I've always wanted to do something related to illustration and concept art.

My wife and I are planning to return to the United States in another couple years, probably to somewhere on the West Coast. I'm intending to have a fully-assembled portfolio by that time so that I can start shopping it around to different employers. I'm concerned, though, about my ability to produce professional-level art on a consistent basis. I've come to realize that, though I'm a talented artist, I'm not nearly at the level where I want to be. And to be honest, I'm worried that I've hit a wall, and that I'm already too old to make substantive progress in my abilities. I look at the abundance of mind-bogglingly talented and prolific artists on this site alone, and I have to imagine that the industry is saturated with such talent. To be honest, the thought of having to compete in such a market makes me want to curl into a ball and start sobbing.

Can anyone who's actually a working professional give me some kind of honest estimate of my chances. Is there room in the industry for someone like me, or should I toss all my materials into the river and start planning a more practical future? I don't want a pep talk, but rather someone to help me make an informed decision about which direction I should go.

Thanks in advance.

[Green-fire]

I am kind of a new person on this site but...
the game and movie industry is ALWAYS growing and that could provide a job for you.
but If you aren't "trained" in that type of Art I would honestly say I dont know

[sweetoblivion314]

honestly you see alot of people around with great stuff but there are even more jobs then those people. My teacher worked in the entertainment industry for years and he quit 5 years ago and they still call him to do jobs (he turns them down though, he just wants to paint). He also lives next door to the woman who does the artist recruiting for Lucas and evidently she cant even meet her quota every year. So it seems there are jobs available. Just put your all into it and you'll get somewhere.

[•Lindsay•]

I have no idea what your chances are, but even if your chances are bad, would you really settle for something that makes you less happy? I like being bitter about failure is better than being bitter about cowardice. Your avatar looks like it's in pain.

[kev ferrara]

No way you're too old. What kind of sissy ass shit are talking? Why not stop thinking about all this useless bullshit and just get your ass to work making a kick ass portfolio.

I don't see enough environmental work from you. Go outside with some damn oil paints or pencil or charcoal or watercolor or whatever and makes some drawing and paintings of everything. I think you should be taking a weekly life drawing session. I'd get George Bridgman's anatomy books and copy them over into your notebooks.

You are wasting energy thinking about this crap. Every moment you spend on doubt, is one less moment you are working toward what you want to do.

Fuck all this whiney bullshit. Put your fist through something and get to work.

[gtgauvin]

Green-fire: I have no doubt that the game industry is a growth market, but is it really expanding so fast that it can afford to absorb me along with all those superior artists?

sweetoblivion314: That's reassuring, but I wonder if there's more to it. Do the jobs go unfilled because no one's applying, or because all the applicants suck? And if it's the former, I want that woman's e-mail, fax and phone number! Maybe make a side-trip when my wife and I pass through San Francisco next summer.

Linzoy: I agree with the sentiment, but the particulars of my situation make it a little more complicated, since if I can't be a successful artist, I'd like to look into career options with the Japanese language. That would mean forsaking the art while I spend my every spare moment hitting the books for the JLPTs. I'm expecting to have to make some pretty big decisions in the coming year or two.

And my avatar looks pained because I'm eating stinky tofu.

kev ferrara: Thanks for taking the time to respond, and I know you mean to help, so I'm trying not to get cross. I'm looking for information about the difficulty involved in establishing oneself as a working commercial artist, as my ability or inability to do so will have a profound effect on my future and probably my marriage in ways I'm not terribly comfortable discussing with strangers. Suffice it to say, a profanity-laced browbeating over what a whiny loser I am isn't overly helpful in this situation.

[Elwell]

If you don't succeed, it won't be because of your age.

[Seedling]

Age has nothing to do with the ability to learn art.

If it’s the game industry you’re looking at, try the link in my sig. The games industry could use more folk who aren’t used to the dorm-room lifestyle.

I have no doubt that the game industry is a growth market, but is it really expanding so fast that it can afford to absorb me along with all those superior artists?

Your drawing skills are unlikely to get you hired as a concept artist in the games industry as-is, because that particular niche is highly competitive and very small. (In our company of 200+ people, there are three concept artists.) But there are other art jobs in the industry. Modelers/texturers are the bulk of the art team.

That's reassuring, but I wonder if there's more to it. Do the jobs go unfilled because no one's applying, or because all the applicants suck?

The applicants suck. Which isn’t to say that you are a shoe-in, but if you have the time and the desire to, say, learn modeling and texturing, then you could get yourself a job.

You could, alternatively, go the Japanese route and take a job in management at a games company that has Japanese partners.

[mambo]

I hope you'll all pardon my self-indulgent whinging and anxiety, but I've been really wound up lately. I'm looking at where I am in life, and I'm worried about the future. I'm almost thirty, living in Japan and working as an assistant English teacher, with a long-distance marriage to a newspaper reporter in Taipei. I studied fine arts and illustration in college, and ended up with a degree in painting. My focus has changed somewhat over the years, but I've always wanted to do something related to illustration and concept art.

My wife and I are planning to return to the United States in another couple years, probably to somewhere on the West Coast. I'm intending to have a fully-assembled portfolio by that time so that I can start shopping it around to different employers. I'm concerned, though, about my ability to produce professional-level art on a consistent basis. I've come to realize that, though I'm a talented artist, I'm not nearly at the level where I want to be. And to be honest, I'm worried that I've hit a wall, and that I'm already too old to make substantive progress in my abilities. I look at the abundance of mind-bogglingly talented and prolific artists on this site alone, and I have to imagine that the industry is saturated with such talent. To be honest, the thought of having to compete in such a market makes me want to curl into a ball and start sobbing.

Can anyone who's actually a working professional give me some kind of honest estimate of my chances. Is there room in the industry for someone like me, or should I toss all my materials into the river and start planning a more practical future? I don't want a pep talk, but rather someone to help me make an informed decision about which direction I should go.

Thanks in advance.

You're going to have to find some peace inside bro. That's what it comes down to. The wild card here is always going to be your wife. If you guys are tight and she's down to help you through tight spots while you break in and sort things out then your chances are much higher. When I say tight spot I mean months of not having a steady income or a cash flow that contributes to nest building. Biological clocks are ticking all the time and she's not gonna hold out forever so you gotta know that is going to be a factor in her overall planning. If that's the case you need to pitch your existence like you've got a solid game plan and have your ducks in a row even if all you have is a dick in your hand. Because that's often what it comes down to.

You can't worry about comparing yourself so much to other artists. There are way to many factors that influence why people get hired... often times they have nothing or little to do with the art one produces. You have to be the kind of guy that rocks up charms the pants off of everyone and delivers the goods with a decent amount of hype. How much is decent? Enough to make the motherfuckers understand that you're Michaelangelo... and if not that then at least enough that you were soooooooooo concerned about the bigger picture and budget and their overall timeline that you knocked up something quick like to keep their project on track.... yes... even if you're not personally happy with what you did.... talking a good game is at least as important as actually painting/drawing/illustrating a good game. Anyone who tells you it isn't is full of shit.

All of which means don't show with up with doubt... people smell that shit a mile away and will eat you alive. If they smell doubt they'll boot you out or rape you on price. If your wife smells doubt... you will deal with untold hours of stress from trying to keep her satisfied and happy that you're in it to win it with her. You don't need either of those problems bro.

Put your best work together... get some solid and realistic critiques on it... get an idea of where you need to get to.... and then shop your stuff around like you're the baddest motherfucker that ever walked. Take as many jobs as you can... big or small to build up your network and get actual work pieces in your book. Get a good handle on reading people and telling them what they want to hear to get the job and then learn to bust ass all night to approximate what you promised them.

At one point you'll suddenly get hit with the realization that you're producing killer work... making decent coin... the wife is happy and all is well. Then when you do reach that point don't go blow it all on crack and hookers. :D

;)

Just jump in and kick some ass.



Mambo

[JL.Alfaro]

dude, I think you and I are on the same boat here. Nice to have a companion for the nauseating boat ride. ha :D

I'm 32, self taught- no art degree, have a family and a shit load of bills to pay.I started doing graphic design as soon as I installed PS in my computer 2 years ago, right after my divorce. I sucked, really I did..still do...but I decided to live the my dream and Im gonna push it until it either works out or it runs me into the ground. I think Im too old to get better too, but when I look back at the stuff I did two years ago when I started drawing and painting...it gives me a better view of my vision. I already landed a full time job as a graphic artist and I'm freelancing as an illustrator. heck if I can do that without a degree or anything...I reckon you can too.
it was pretty scary at first, specially when my first glance at the illustration industry was here, at CA. As much as the artwork around here is inspirational...its also de-inspirational to someone who is beginning, older, and with about one-tenth of the talent. keep it positive man, thats the key I think.:asspat:

note: In a recent interview with the US most successful individuals, they were asked what the secret to their success was... they ALL answered "find the one thing that you love to do, and then do it with a passion"

[Mitchell]

I by no means am here to toot my own horn, but I've only taken my drawing seriously for 2 years now, (drawing everyday for hours, studying, reading, taking my sketchbook with me everywhere) and I already work as a freelance artist. I went from no expierience and knowledge about drawing/painting to working in the video game industry in two years. Self-taught. I looked in your SB, and it's not like you don't have any expierience or knowledge, you just now need to put the effort into it, and draw all the time. Look at your favorite artists, ones that you would like to have the same skill level, and just make a list of everything you need to study and draw. You aren't old enough to quit by any means. If you want it, go get it.

[Hyskoa]

If you have the cash, just draw 11 hours a day for 3 years straight. 1 day off/week.
Post your work here for crits.
If you won't improve that way, blame it on ninjas.