Teeny Weeny Bikini

[Senira]

I've been working on this on and off for about four days. It started as a contest entry, and once I entered it I took the 1st version, which contained only base colors, and worked it up from there. I'm debating using it as a portfolio piece, but I want to get some input on it before I make my final choice.

Are there any glaring issues I'm not noticing? Feel free to pick at it at will!

[ccsears]

1-- the biggest little mistake. for a female with this light scheme never (and I MEAN NEVER) outline that nose profile with black. it breaks with nature too much, even for a cartoony approach.

2--for the other features--eyelashes and eyes can go dark, but too much dark on the nostril will make a female face look "piggy" and too much black in the eyebrows makes a female look "wolfish" lighten those marks, or make them smaller/thinner.

3--uniformity of outline. some parts are outlined and some aren't. if you envelop the entire things with a well-designed outline, it can add a nice graphic feel. if you don't, you need to lighten some edges appropriately. either way, be consistent.

[Bones Weep Tedium]

I quite liked the broken outline, although it is a bit inconsistent I found it made me look at the image in a different way. I was trying to figure out why you had done it, and I found that it drew my attention to unusual parts of the pose that I would probably have overlooked. If this pose was part of a fully resolved image, I doubt the broken outline would matter, and I think the one thing that would ruin your nice blending is a thick heavy outline around it all.

I think you need to work on her face a bit more; the eyes seem to close together and too small to me. Also, I think you should definitely work on her nose - too savage and it makes you look very clumsy with your form. You have some really nice painting and shading on the legs, and you really let yourself down with her nose.

[L. Lanham]

The right leg- the one crossing over- looks to be plugged into her navel.
I do like the nice gesture you've captured with the shoulders and upper torso.

[Senira]

Thanks for the critiques Bones and CCsears! In truth, the broken line was due to an element present before I started re-working this as an illustration; in the contest entry she was sitting on a logo, so I removed the line to make it more natural.

The facial area in general is still a big problem for me, particularly as far as shading is concerned. Even if they don't look too hideous in pencil form, my women always look like wicked old hags by the time I put some values on them. I might have to do facial studies for my next few practice pieces to try and get the hang of it.

I decided to drop the line art entirely and to try showing the edges through lighting. I also adjusted some anatomical issues, most notably the length of the torso. That may fix the leg-into-naval issue you pointed out L. Lanham, but I'm not sure; my eyes are too tired to tell.

[Bones Weep Tedium]

Looking good, but her face is still weak. I think you should try -- making her nose a bit further away from her face (the bridge of her nose is runing very flush with her face, making it look like she has broken it recently. Instead of having the bridge of her nose point to 7 o'clock, try to make it point to 8 o'cllock)

make the right hand side of her mouth a bit longer - the end of her lip should be on a vertical line with the pupil of her eye, mabe even a touch more if she's smiling?

I like it without the line work on it, though it looks a little pale now. Maybe a few touches of darker tone would make it pop more?